<p>I would like to hear from parents who have had experiences of sending you s or d 7 or more hours away verses keeping them local- within 2-4 hours. My s is interested in some colleges 7 to 10 ours away. What are the problems of moving them there and back, et cetera . </p>
<p>Any incite would be appreciated.</p>
<p>Cons:
-Lack/ cost of getting home when desired, or holidays
-May form a more long distance relationship
-Adapting to a different environment</p>
<p>Pros:
-A larger feel of independence
-Experiencing different environments/ locations
-New to area</p>
<hr>
<p>I'm not a parent, but thought I would post a answer including that....</p>
<p>If you wan't answers just from parents, maybe you could have got more post on the parents forum.</p>
<p>My D's choices range from the closest being 3-6 hours away to the farthest being 15-20 hours away (driving - anywhere from 2-6 hours flying). Most cons revolve around getting back and forth (airfare, risk of travel problems since we cannot get to most of the farther locations without changing planes at least once, cost & hassle of storing items over the summer, etc). The biggest pro at this point in her case would have to be educational experiences that the schools farther away offer that the schools that are closer do not, plus the obvious fact that she would avoid harsh winters for four years (!). For me is a comforting fact that the three or four "far away" schools are in cities where relatives live, so someone would be there quickly in case of any emergency...</p>
<p>Scoutmom9,
I just want to throw this out there, not to scare you, but to make you think more in depth about your child's decision. In November, I had a bad accident on campus(football) and I was in the hospital for about a month. Luckily, my parents got to the hospital in 1 hour because I go to school about an hour from home. This doesn't happen to a large amount of students, but I am definitley happy they could be at the hospital for me everyday, while going to work, going home to feed the dog, etc. I would not base a decision off of this. But it most certainly made me feel happy that I didn't go to school 4 hours or so away. I think 1-3 hours away is good, depending on what state you live in.</p>
<p>Pro: don't bring home bags of dirty laundry every time they come to visit.</p>
<p>At least that's what I remember from my siblings. Some of us were an 8 hour drive away, and couldn't bring all our dirty laundry in one suitcase. Some of us were a two hour drive away, and always brought home a carful of dirty laundry.</p>
<p>I am in favor of them going as far away as possible. Mine did. It is great for them to have an 'away' experience. College is a great place to be, to experience another city/site, in a protected environment, and get away from living with your parents.</p>
<p>She knows how to do almost everything on her own now.</p>
<p>Is your kid a Brown student Brownparent?</p>
<p>I think that physical distance may be less of an factor than the personality traits of both the student and the parent. My son is only 45 minutes away, but we talk maybe twice a week, and I only see him at breaks, or when I go to his track meets! He's happy to be home during break, and he's even happier to be at school each semester. If your child participates in theater, sports, or some other event where you'd want to see them, it's nice to be able to do that. If you think they're the type to come home with a duffle bag of dirty clothes all too often (or even worse - come home and raid the refrigerator when you're paying for board at college!), then it might be good to select a school farther away.
Bottom line: choose the school that's the best fit, and perhaps location falls lower on the list.</p>
<p>Thanks to all for all these comments so far. I do worry about the travel involved. My s intends to continue in sports- so if it is far away we won't see any of the events. If he in injured or needs any medical attention- also a problem.
I guess my son and Iwill have to sit down and list the pros and cons to see if it is worth it to go that far.</p>
<p>I think that other things to consider would be how far the school is from an airport as well as distance from home, cost of flights on average, and tranportation available to and from the airport. Also depending upon health insurance, you might want to check if there are family physicians as well as specialists and a hospital that your child could access in an emergency, or if an illness arises that cannot be taken care of at the college's health center. I think that those things are just as important as whether the school is 6 hours away, 10 hours away, or 12 hours away from home. IMO, one one gets into a 4-5 hour distance it becomes inconvenient for a parent to visit anyway.</p>
<p>On a personal note, my son might have needed a dermatologist and/or allergist at one point. It turned out not to be necessary bc he was on the mend just as he left to go back to school from summer break and saw a doctor at home. Both of these specialists would have been a pain for my son to get to without a car. He would have had to rely on a close friend to really extend himself/herself to take him to the doctor if it became necessary. This can happen if you are 4 hours away, or 20 hours away. Still a problem.</p>
<p>My D1 attended college 13 hours from us; then we moved and it became "only" 8 hours. D2 initally attended college less then an hour from us; she lived at the college though, not here.</p>
<p>Everything was better about D2s situation, location-wise. Both for us and for the child.</p>
<p>During the time D1 was there, some medical issues developed. She was out-of-network for our health coverage, due to location, and she had no way to get to places for treatment, so her options were severely limited. I had to take her to and/or from the college on a number of occasions, because she eventually had a lot of stuff, and I became very weary of making the long trek. She did not come in for many holidays, due to the time and distance involved.</p>
<p>Since then I've seen her college's "subsequent grad school placement" lists, and it is weighted disproportionately to the region of the college, 8-15 hours away from us.She might be more likely to wind up in that region subsequently. And more of the other students are from that region, so she could have been more likely to be headed away from us for social reasons as well.</p>
<p>D2 still adequately maintained her distance; she was not back here all that much. But she came back for holidays, with college friends in tow. And now and then she would come back on a weekend, with friends in tow, maybe to get a car to go someplace. During breaks sometimes she would take her new college friends to meet her returning high school friends, and they would all hang out. It was very functional for her, and nice for us as well. Moving her in and out was no huge ordeal, as in the other case. and we could occasionally bring her something if she wanted it. It was just better, period.</p>
<p>D2s situation was a real luxury, but for S1 I'd be strongly encouraging a school within a 5 hour drive; that's about as long as I can drive before the trip starts feeeling like a strain. Within three hours would be much better; then we could in theory more easily take him & return same day. And these travel times might well influence how frequently he makes it back home.</p>
<p>Monydad,</p>
<p>You bring up an interesting point, checking to see if there are in-network hospitals close by. In my Ds case, I did check, and there are, but they are rather rural. </p>
<p>Where D wants to go is many hours away, but same state, so no issues with car registration.</p>
<p>I think this depends a lot on the student. If the student would want to come home a lot during school then being close to home can make a big difference. Personally, during 4 years of school I think I came home 2 times other than a regular school break so being a 7 hour car ride from home really wasn't an issue. If my kids are fly the coup types (at least the first 2 are) I will advocate they not worry about distance in their decision process.</p>
<p>I only see three concerns with being far from.</p>
<p>1) In an emergancy being far from home can suck.<br>
One of my grandmothers died during finals of my freshman year and I missed her funeral. I have VERY FEW regrets in my life but this is one of them. It was just too far to make the funeral and get back in time for my finals. (In hindsight I do not EVER think I should have gone to a school closer to home ... I think I should have lived with the consequences of missing the finals). Bad things happen at random times during our lives ... I will argue against my kids making big life decisions based on worst case scenarios about unlikely events.</p>
<p>2) Job search after graduation
Major firms recruit nationwide for some jobs. Local firms tend to recruit locally ... and even some departments of major firms tend to recruit locally. I got my first masters (in Engineering) from Stanford and wanted to work in the Boston area and was surprised by who did and did not come to Stanford to recruit. If the student thinks they want to move home after they graduate they likely will need to do a lot of leg work on their own to make that happen if they attend school far from home</p>
<p>3) As a parent having them move away permently
Exposed to new areas ... and perhaps falling in love with a local student ... the odds the kids move away from home probably go up some if the kids go to school farther from home.</p>
<p>While those are all legit concerns as I said eerlier I personally am not a fan of kids limiting the geographic reach of their search because of travel/emergency type concerns ... for me it's much more a question of fit (for example, my oldest wanted to go somewhere with 4 seasons)</p>
<p>Pro:
Having S1 2800 miles away provided us a terrific chance to visit the other side of the country, with warmer weather even in February.</p>
<p>No need to store college stuff over the summer.</p>
<p>No surprise visits.</p>
<p>Food costs went way down.</p>
<p>Out-of-sight, out-of-mind.</p>
<p>Cons:
None. For our family, at least.</p>
<p>My daughter is 1381 miles away, and there are no direct flights available. Her college has a full day of Wednesday classes the Wednesday before Thanksgiving so we know it is nearly impossible for her to get home for Thanksgiving. </p>
<p>I wish we her parents could be there to help her move from her school living arrangement to her summer living arrangement and then back into her school year living arrangement this year; this is hard, especially since she does not have a car. She is very very happy there and they have a very very strong program in her somewhat unusual major, so it was the right decision, but I wish she were closer to home. I would like to feel that she could come home more easily in case of emergency or in case she wanted some extra TLC, and I wish it were easier for us to visit her for special events there.</p>
<p>I think the 'away' experience is a critical part of growing up. I miss S (and I miss attending his musical performances and sporting events), but being farther from home has forced him to develop a level of independence-and the corresponding self-confidence-that I never thought he'd achieve as a high school senior. He was homesick (briefly), sick once, had his share of small crises, and he still calls often to share his day when there are highs and lows, but I am 100% sure that he'd have been home every weekend (visiting the gf, if for no other reason) if he hadn't been given firm guidence on leaving the nest. Now I just love when he reminds me, "You know, I do handle this stuff myself all the time when I'm at school..."</p>
<p>M's mom: perhaps had he gone to college 2-4 hours away- still rather far for more than the occasional visit, yet not so far as to preclude that- rather than 7-10 hours away, most of these same things would have occurred.</p>
<p>Pros: learning about another part of the country in a temporary/sheltered fashion.
child becomes more independent - learns to travel by plane, taxi, bus, for example</p>
<p>Cons: Might make it harder to find a job back home.
Medical emergencies can be a problem</p>
<p>The rest of the pros and cons are not worth considering. They fall into the “noise” level.</p>
<p>My son opted for distance and we have not regretted it. Cell phones make us feel close and we are glad he has found opportunities to branch out at Thanksgiving and spring break. He was home for a month at Christmas and that was enough. The year goes by really fast. He plans to go to grad school closer to home so perhaps the job thing won’t be a big deal. Also, I like the idea that he will not mentally limit himself to jobs close to home which I think would be the case if he had gone to school close by.</p>
<p>Scoutmom, I think the sports issue is important. My D played a college sport, all four years. She was three hours away. I’m self employed so I made most of her games. That’s about a hundred games over four years…put a lot of miles on the Honda. Sometimes up and back twice in a week. I wouldn’t have missed that for anything. And I know she was glad I was there.</p>
<p>My brother’s S played a sport, 6 hours away. They made most of the games (one game a week in season) too but it wasn’t easy. I would have trouble knowing my D was playing an intercollegiate sport, and I would rarely be able to see her. Perhaps you wouldn’t. Is he being recruited to comparable schools closer to you?</p>
<p>Far away:
Pros - experience the world, develop independence, etc.
Cons - far away from family</p>
<p>Nearby:
Pros and cons exactly opposite of those above.</p>
<p>Personally I feel that the pros outweigh the cons for going to school far away. Not to say that a nearby college is bad, but if you can find a good, affordable school in someplace new I say go for it.</p>