Could someone educate me as to the effect a big Greek scene has on campus social life? I’d like to know both the positive and negative aspects. My D is preppy but not athletic, she loves debate, witty conversation, and she has a quiet confidence. In other words, can a school with a significant Greek scene be a good fit for a kid who isn’t an outgoing party type? My husband and I know nothing about fraternities and sororities aside from what is portrayed in the media and we need a balanced perspective. Thanks!
You will find it is going to vary WIDELY depending on the school. Big state U in the south could run you thousands of dollars a year, whereas the state schools in NJ might run you $500. Is she looking anywhere in particular?
Pros - None
Cons – Hazing. A culture of heavy drinking. Racism. Conformity. And if you’re really unlucky, you’ll be one of the recruits killed each year by their fraternity brothers.
(Sorry @MaineLonghorn I couldn’t help myself. 
i disagree with the above post (to an extent). as an avid vocalist against greek life, there are schools where greek life isn’t how it’s portrayed in the media (kenyon, case western reserve, etc.). a student’s experience drastically varies based on where s/he goes to school. however, greek life has enough of a bad reputation based off all the things southernhope stated above that i would not advise your daughter to rush because of it.
to answer your question, again, it depends on the school. at union college/uofmiami? most likely not. at kenyon/case western reserve? most likely yes.
Pros - a lifetime of friends. Example: last year 40+ of us had a reunion for our 40th year. My father’s frat brothers are still meeting yearly and they are 83+ years old. Every year, sixty plus years. I also like being involved with the alumnae in my town, with women I didn’t go to college with. We do volunteer work, participate in things like the Heart Walk, do fun social activities. I really like going to the meetings with women who are in their 80’s and who just want to talk and eat and have fun.
For my daughter who took 2 spring semesters in a row off at her school (one an internship, one semester abroad) it was very convenient to have a place to return to, to fit back in. She didn’t have to worry about finding a place to live. Both my kids were at schools with a small Greek life (under 10%), but the Greeks did seem to participate in other clubs and activities at the school - academic clubs, student government, volunteer activities, talent shows, carnivals, parades.
Sororities don’t host parties with alcohol. The members certain attend such parties, but not all of them do.
There is a sorority or fraternity out there that can appeal to almost anyone but it should never determined by the representation in the media. I have a few points you should be aware of:
- Alcoholism is engrained in the culture, even at dry campuses your child WILL be exposed to underage drinking which can be very uncomfortable with so much peer pressure.
- Make sure you can afford it first, before your child rushes check on the school’s Greek life page and check to see if they have the yearly dues for each organization. After being a freshman new member this year I paid around $2,600 for the entire year and it stressed my parents and I out tremendously.
- Determine what it is they hope to gain from Greek life, many people join to meet new people on campus (which is not a bad reason) but, make sure your reasons are not superficial because you can get drawn into the dangerous side of college/ Greek life.
College in general can be hazardous it’s not just Greek life and if you shelter them through life, they won’t know how to handle situations where their morals are tested.
Just from my experience as a sorority woman!
-best of luck
@NJWrestlingmom We were looking at Dartmouth as a reach and Wake Forest as a target.
@SouthernHope Add date rape to your list and it’s exactly the stereotype we have in mind.
Ok, my son is in a fraternity and his gf (who is shy, academic, sweet, hardworking and quiet) is in a sorority at a mid sized state University in the midwest. There is more drinking at the fraternity but also a lot of pressure at his school to get good grades. He will be the chair of grades for next year. Making sure the new pledges study so many hours each day and keep their grades up. If not they make sure they get tutoring, go to office hours etc. Son’s gf does not drink AT ALL. She loves her sorority. Son has met several businessmen in the community and the CEO of a major firm that paid to break his dorm lease so he could move into the house last semester. We were very skeptical but the fraternities at his campus don’t have rush and pledge within the first two weeks so not a lot of nonsense. He said there was nothing even approaching hazing. She is pre-med (was valedictorian of her hs), he is pre-vet. They both got 4.0’s their first hear and over a quarter of his frat had above a 3.7 last semester. They also give money to the kids with good grades. We don’t love that there is alcohol but husband and I were not in a fraternity and there was alcohol around (this was at a dry campus).
It depends on the fraternity or sorority and on the school. They are not all horrible. The kids are involved in other organizations, have friends that are not in the greek system but had a great time at football games, basketball games, fundraising events and even both participated in a dance group for homecoming in front of 4000 students. My son had never danced in his life. It can be good.
At some level, it depends on the school. To me, it is institutionalized cliques and at a smaller school that is big on the concept of its community, this is a detracor from that. But, and this is a big but, at a very large school, it can create a community.
Personally, I dislike that you choose who you want as friends and they choose you bsck. Or not. And if you grow apart from them over the next year or two, you are more locked in. Social groups may be less fluid. Most activities involve alcohol but this is often the case at schools where there is no Greek life.
The upside is that at many schools, you can live with your sorority and they have nice housing, and it’s an opportunity to get involved with all aspects of managing that group and house.
As for a quiet person, there tend to be groups that favor that. And yes, it can be expensive. You might be interested in the book "paying for the party ", which is about Indiana U, if your D is considering larger schools.
As with everything, ymmv.
Greek life is definitely significant at Wake Forest. Drinking is pretty strictly policed on campus, so a lot of social life revolves around off-campus parties at houses rented for that purpose. Students often uber and shuttle among these parties. Drinking is heavy, the locations are secured for that purpose after all. Drinking is also very much the focus at football games. You can see if you go to one in the fall. Students can have social lives and friends without participating extensively, and certainly some non-Greeks enjoy their experience at Wake. A student who pursues that path must be pretty secure and comfortable being outside the social mainstream. Academics at Wake are A+.
I know Dartmouth less well, though I have been to Hanover/Dartmouth about 4 times and done some things at the school. It seems like Greek life is pretty big there too.
William and Mary is similar to Wake in many ways. William and Mary Greek life is an aspect of social life but is not as dominant as at Wake. It’s big enough for a student who wants Greek life but small enough it can be easily ignored if not. This is one of the significant differences between the schools.
I agree with above comment about Case Western (CWRU “Crew”) and Kenyon. I’m very familiar with the former, including frats (sororities less so). The school in general has a nerdy, science vibe. Greek life is definitely an aspect of social life but relatively chill compared to a Wake or Washington and Lee.
I’m far from anti-Greek, just spent a day with someone from my Greek organization, but believe it’s for some students and not for others. I know a local kid who’s a terrific student and really into Greek life. Wake is great for them. We’ve learned, though, that if a school has a dominant culture, it’s difficult to live on the fringes of that.
Good luck!
My older daughter was in a sorority at a small private university in California. It surprised me that she decided to join one but it turned out well. She also was a member of the school’s residential learning community, a group that was seen as hippies by many of their classmates. She navigated the different social worlds successfully.
It is really dependent on the individual as well as the particular sorority/fraternity. I think it is simplistic to think that Greek Life can be so easily classified as being always a bad thing or always a good thing.
Pros include finding an instant social group, a place to feel at home, raising money for charity (typically). Cons include some of the stereotypical issues noted above.
As with most things in life there can be major differences between Greek Life at different colleges as well as between different fraternities/sororities within Greek Life at a college. For example, my D joined a very low key sorority at her college and it added to her life on campus, allowed her to develop new friendships, and she got involved with a most worthy charity – but did not take it over her life. There was no hazing, people in her sorority were serous about academics, she stayed close to friends who did not go Greek, and continued to be involved in other activities on campus. For her there was no downside.
Whether students are in Greek life or not the reality is that many of them drink. Many were drinking in high school. Its just that is well hidden until they hit college. While drinkkng does tend to take place at frats on campus, it also takes place off campus which leads to its own problems. My child who is Greek never went through hazing. As in anything it has its plusses and minuses but that goes for any organization on any campus. Cliques exist everywhere. In a big school it can help it feel smaller. They generally have better food and better housing.
When the CWRU greek life is referenced, is a point being made that fraternities at these type of schools highlights the academic side over the side we often see with the media. Furthermore, could this type of greek life be seen at schools like Wabash (especially if anyone is familiar with the attitude surrounding greek life at Wabash and what goes on there).
Greek life at some schools is very different from the Animal House stereotype. Some have houses where some or all of the members live, some have wings of a dorm so have to follow the rules of the dorm contract. Some houses are very involved in activities, some have a lot of athletes or engineers or dance majors.
A member of my house at Harvard was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize this year. It’s not all toga parties and hazing.
in my opinion, yes. i think academic excellence at cwru is a very important highlight most chapters on campus tend to advertise. when i asked about greek life at cw (it was a concern of mine), i was blatantly told by students (and my admission officer) that greek life at cw is purposely different than greek life advertised in the media because of the amount of inclusivity. when it comes to greek life, people (myself included) tend to have the preconceived notion that it’s exclusive and aimed towards a specific group of people (which, let’s be honest here, that’s the way it usually is). however, at schools like cw, i think that belief is thrown out the window.
in my own (and perhaps biased) opinion (again), absolutely not.
Re: racism
Many sorority chapters have photo albums. Looking at them for the various chapters on a given campus can give a hint about whether they are highly segregated by race and ethnicity.
But look at the diversity of the school too. If a school is 80% white, it is likely the Greek houses will be too.
@UrbanMum This is a great question! I agree with most posters that it varies widely on the school. As a person who goes to a school where Greek Life has a moderate presence on campus and is a person who spent the majority of my college experience outside of Greek Life, joining after thoroughly scouting the organization out, I think I offer a balanced perspective.
Pros:
Social Life, especially parties: I think this is the big one and why the majority of students join. Compared to many organizations, Greek Life offers the opportunity to consistently have something going on during the weekends – usually in the form of some sort of party. These can be in the form of a house party (can be open or invite only), mixers (usually with members of a sorority), or some sort of inter-organization event. While other organizations do host many events, many of them don’t have the resources or the same organization structures as Greek Life that sets out specifically making this a central tenet of membership. Now I am not one of those people that likes to define social life through parties – and I would like to say that I had a plenty fulfilling experience, perhaps even more so, outside of parties by just spending time with people I care about outside of Greek Life – but if this is something you care about, it’s there. Other schools with a less of a Greek-Life culture may have more clubs or individual groups of friends host social type of social events.
Leadership: I always found this to be a weird one, because Greek organizations always advertise how they promote leadership. When I was a non-member, I had plenty of leadership experience outside of Greek Life and I don’t think there is necessarily anything special about Greek Life in particular in the leadership realm compared to other organizations, but they do have plenty of positions that they need filled and ways for members to contribute by joining committees, etc. There are some really interesting and noble positions like Philanthropy chair that helps put on really big events for charity to ones like the risk management chair… which makes sure that everyone is safe at social events and someone is sober at parties in case the party gets busted… more questionable about how to talk about these experiences in a job interview type setting.
Support system: Some organizations have good support systems by having a scholarship chair that may host study group sessions or have initiatives to encourage members to have good grades. This I have found as a positive thing and something that other organizations can adopt. But there is definitely not a high of an emphasis on this as the other aspects. There is also the social support system of other people in the organization.
Alumni Networks: The organization often has chapters around the country, and they often are excited to meet other members of the same organization… just by the virtue that you are a member. They have happy hours/ways to get involved.
Cons:
Hazing: Most schools ban this, but many organizations find a way around this or do this in secret. This is already heavily reported in the media, so I won’t rehash what everyone’s already said. My organization was good in making sure we had no practices that would constitute as hazing, but some do and the members just go along with it. This can end up being very bad if it is associated with binge drinking or other types of things that they force new members to do that are dangerous. Also I am going to put this in this category… but some organizations also have a more drug culture and Greek Life as a whole has a poor reputation with sexual assault.
Cost: This is probably the biggest one. I understand what the money is going towards – it goes towards budgets of philanthropy events, social events, etc. but at some point you are going to have to evaluate, “Is this worth it?” I almost quit a couple of times because when I joined, the dues were relatively low but when it became hundreds of dollars a semester close to $500 (and that is on the low side)… I really had to re-evaluate it and whether it was worth it. The frustrating thing is that alot of the money goes towards things that are required by the national chapters and (in my opinion) are a lot of BS… such as chartering fees, ritual equipment, mandatory conference fees, and the big one which is insurance to protect itself in case the organization ever gets sued. If you can find a similar type of experience outside of the financially restrictive organization structure that is Greek Life, I would heavily consider it because the money sometimes is sometimes just not worth it. This can also be very limiting in cases of socioeconomic diversity.
Diversity: Which brings me to my next point… diversity. Greek Life is notoriously known for being not very diverse. In many cases they don’t have many minorities and they may not feel as comfortable joining such an organization given the reasons mentioned above. Some students feel like they are often the “token minority” or that their voices aren’t being heard. I joined my organization specifically because the premise was diversity is important… at the time more than half the new members were minorities of people of color… which I found was welcoming as a minority myself. One thing that Greek Life does do a good job with imo is bringing people with various academic interests together, as I met people that had very different interests. Nevertheless, many students struggle with the fact that Greek organizations as a whole are not very diverse… whether it be socioeconomically, racially, having students from LGBT backgrounds, and more. Depending on the organization itself, some of the mandatory traditions and rituals have religious references or are based in that type of mindset, which can be at times very uncomfortable if you do not subscribe to that particular religion.
Time: Aside from cost, this is one of the biggest things that almost made me quit Greek Life. It is much more time consuming than other activities. As a very involved students with a bunch of other commitments and leadership positions, I found it difficult to sometimes balance the organization (of which I was just a regular member) with my other responsibilities. This is because the chapter meetings have so much content and it can be not very efficient… you hear from every officer and it can be rigid in its organization structure. Sometimes it would take upwards of 2-3 hours per meeting.
Also they make a lot of things mandatory… like chapter meetings, ritual meetings (which take double the amount of time), voting on new members (as pledges and as initiates), philanthropy events (which I think is a good thing), among many others. While chapter meetings happen in a set time, the other ones often did not have a set schedule and would pop up in the middle of the week and take hours… which was very painful as a very involved student. Also because many of the events were mandatory and they would penalize you (with membership participation in activities or monetarily) if you did not attend. Almost no other organization I know does this outside of Greek Life. I also found this incredibly frustrating because of the length of time the activities took and trying to balance things that I was already committed to. I really had to question whether it was worth my time, especially for an organization that mostly focuses on social activities.