PROS/CONS of a Fraternity

<p>I really need help here. I pretty much know what they are and already know what fraternity I want to join, but I do need hard info to fill in my parents about it all.</p>

<p>You've got me. I can't think of a "pro".</p>

<p>Given the number of alcohol poisoning deaths related to fraternity activities, I think you are looking at some pretty serious "cons".</p>

<p><a href="http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36%257E53%257E2410315,00.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36%257E53%257E2410315,00.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p><a href="http://www.thegordiefoundation.org/%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.thegordiefoundation.org/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>There are times when you have to throw the baby out with the bathwater, and that time is long overdue. If we were voice the same concerns about deaths in college caused DIRECTLY by the stupid actions of parasitical fraternities than we do about our casualties in Iraq, we would realize the extent of this cancer that continues to plague most universities. The handful of positive actions are dwarfed by their egregious behavior and lack of concern for human life and human dignity.</p>

<p>Sorry...no support for fraternities from me. Negatives far outweigh the positives, imo. Some students place a high priority on the whole alcohol-and-athletics social aspect of college. I personally enjoy both alcohol and athletics but never would make it the focus of college experience and certainly would not pay $20K to $40K a year for son or daughter to have priority on same. Fortunately, it was not an issue with my D, who used active Greek life as a negative indicator when searching for colleges.</p>

<p>Sorry, no support for the Greek scene in this household either. DS applied to only schools with a minimal Greek presence at the most. DD is using the Greek scene as a barometer....the higher the Greek presence percentage, the lower the school goes on her list. Neither of my kiddos could come up with any positives relating to the Greek system. They said it is like "paying to have friends".</p>

<p>well I hate to cast my vote in opposition to 2 posters I respect, the 2 dads already posting, but count me as one who thinks there are positives to the greek system.</p>

<p>At a larger school that is not residential (with everyone living on campus or right off-campus), the greek system can provide a social setting that gives glue and continuity to the college years. I'm speaking of the large schools such as Cal or UCLA. In these in can be hard to meet people in class due to their large size the 1st years (200-400 is not unusual) and you won't have many classes in common with people you do meet. You need to get involved somehow in order to build up friends and have a way to stay in touch with people over the terms. There are many ways to do this, by joining clubs, writing for the paper, and so on. But one of the largest ways is thru the greek system.</p>

<p>The greek system isn't right for everyone, and it can have its excesses. But if you talk to people out of college who were in the greek system I think most will have fond memories of the friendships they made in school, the activities in which they took part, and so on.</p>

<p>It's hard to make a blanket statement about Greek organizations - they vary as much as colleges do. Some campuses actively discourage Greeks, some colleges (especially southern) have very entrenched Greek systems, some have houses, some don't, some chapters are alcohol-free, many aren't, etc, etc. Most are involved in some kind of community service. </p>

<p>I'm a sorority member, but I think I'll let my daughter decide for herself - there were some positives to my experience and some negatives, too, so I'm pretty neutral about it. If she were interested in rushing, I would recommend that she wait til her sophomore year to get to know the social scene and to get on good ground academically.</p>

<p>Probably the only positive I can think of is that frats can provide a less expensive housing option, for schools such as Berkeley, where dorms are extremely expensive and limited to underclassmen, as offsite apartments are costly.</p>

<p>A few weeks ago I attended a children's birthday party with my D, who is 6. We were invited by a family who just moved to our area - only 3 weeks before. The birthday child goes to my D's school now. I met several other mothers there and didin't recognize any of them from school. Whne I asked how they all knew the couple, they said that their husbands were frat brothers of the birthday father...and the birthday dad had reached out to their husbands prior to making the move to our area. The dads also attended the party and kept the birthday dad company as the party was going on. I thought it was nice to have an instant connection when moving to a new place.</p>

<p>When we visited Wm & Mary, little, if no, reference was made to fraternities and sororities - Greek life appeared to have little presence in the school community. Being from the NE we didn't think much about it - especially since this was the only "southern" school we considered. However, recently we have read of a couple of serious incidents at frats there. Can anyone comment on Greek life at Wm & Mary? I am now a bit worried about this - my son was accepted there ED.</p>

<p>I go to Wake and 1/3 of guys are in frats and 1/2 of girls are in sororities. Maybe in the olden days frats and sororities were worthwhile pursuits but now the image I get of them is as shallow in which you basically pay to get "friends" and in which your whole relationship revolves around alcohol. I'm sort of considering joining one, but I'm 70% sure I won't join one. I don't know, all the members strike me as superficial, and cult members. I can't describe it, but it kind of creeps me out. Anywho, if you are somewhat interested in the party scene you can always go to a greek campus party with no commitments.</p>

<p>Rileydog, My husband graduated from Wm. & Mary. Um... actually, he was/is a member of that Wm. & Mary frat that keeps getting into trouble. He graduated twenty-something years ago. He said that yes, a lot of the social scene revolved around the fraternities. He joined as a sophomore because many of the friends he had made in his first year had joined. But--he was a straight-arrow then and is a straight-arrow now. He adored the school and did very well and was sorry that for various reasons (such as choice of major) his alma mater wasn't on my daughter's list. I've also read that it has the most exciting Hillel (Jewish youth organization) in the country; whether or not that is something your son will need, it proves that there ARE other vibrant things going on in the Wm. & Mary community.</p>

<p>No support here, and besides all the other negatives, they add an unnecessary divisiveness to a college campus.</p>

<p>I'm not a parent, but I can think of one or two advantages to Greek life.</p>

<p>First, connections made in the Greek system are long-lasting. They are usually stronger than Alumni connections, and especially helpful if a student is trying to get into, say, business. A phone call here and there can go a long way.</p>

<p>Second, I agree that the divisiveness is regrettable. But you've gotta play the game. Frats (since I'm a guy) are different everywhere, but many of my most social friends have joined one somewhere. It's just usually what ends up happening - the most social kids join frats. Or at least that's what I've been told, I may be wrong.</p>

<p>As for the "you're paying to have friends" argument, forget it. That's more true in sororities than frats, anyway. You could make a similar argument that paying hte $$$ for a Teen Tour or something of the sort is "paying to have friends." In both cases, it's just not true.</p>

<p>My $0.02</p>

<p>I've never been a big fan of organizations whose main function seems to be deciding who can or can't join the organization. All too often frats fit that description. Throw in alcohol abuse as their other main preoccupation, and there is not much left to recommend the Greek life.</p>

<p>"the most social kids join frats. Or at least that's what I've been told, I may be wrong."</p>

<p>Or maybe the least social ones? (they can't deal with the diversity of the campus without it?) Just a thought....</p>

<p>mini you have a point, but I don't think that's true. I've been on a bunch of college campuses and taken classes/partied at frats, and that's where the social scene is a lot of the times. I'm not sure why a non-social person would join an organization that would constantly put him at the center of the social life</p>

<p>yeah, a frat puts you as the center of the social life. people who are anti-social tend not to want to be the center of social life.</p>

<p>Xiggi, I am glad to see you are taking up the cause in your friend Gordy's name. Keep posting those links. </p>

<p>My daughter is also focusing on campuses where there are no Greek organizations or where their presence is minimal. We have defintely noticed a different tone at the schools we have visited where there are large Greek presences - a more cliquey feeling, more emphasis on partying/socializing, greater focus on "having things" and "income" as a measure of belonging. Of course, not every campus with a Greek scene is this way, but it is just something we have noticed in the schools we have looked at. My daughter's feeling is that she is going to college to meet lots of DIFFERENT types of people and she doesn't want to limit her options to any one group, especially to a group which by its nature excludes others from joining. Unfortunately, that is what I remember as happening to most of my acquaintances who joined frats/sororities at Syracuse: their social sphere narrowed, rather than expanded. In short, in my daughter's mind at least, joining a sorority doesn't put you in the middle of a social life but, rather, limits your motivation to go out and meet other interesting people.</p>

<p>Whereas I think there are people who are perfectly social but do not care for the fart/sorority paradigm.</p>