<p>A few high school friends of D's (college sophomores now) who had excellent stats applied to mostly IVY and one or two safeties they never imagined having to attend. They were pretty much thrown on the list last minute with no thought of fit. These particular kids (3 of them) wound up at safety schools and they are all dreadfully unhappy. One is literally flunking out of school; one has VERY bad grades at an academically mediocre school where she should really be excelling; and the last one is making the best of it, but is just unhappy and trying to transfer. Please, please, please consider that you may end up at a safety and make sure you will at like it.</p>
<p>We only let our kids apply to schools they’d be happy to attend. Every school, from reach to target to safety, were “first choice” schools for them. </p>
<p>I don’t believe in just throwing a school on the list for the hell of it.</p>
<p>D. applied and visit only school that she would consider attending. None were Ivy / Elite, we did not even check any rankings, never sroted them in reaches / safeties and did not listen to any advises to apply to Ivy/Elite. D. used her own criteria and ended up in perfect place for herself, still missing it a lot after graduating last spring, visiting frequently and will never forget. All this reaches/safety…whatever is very superficial. Everybody has a perfect place that fits student personality and wide range of interest the best. If this place is also free because of Merit awards, what else is needed? It is just UG, it is much more to student to reach his/her goal than anme of the place. And happy student who feels “at home” has much better chance. This is based on my D’s experience who was strongly advised to apply to Ivy’s as she graduated #1 from her private prep HS, but went to state UG which has prepared her greatly to move on to her next destination.</p>
<p>Some kids are not going to find a safety that they love. But they can and should find safeties that they can make a strong case for attending.</p>
<p>I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again…start with the safety. It forces the student to separate out needs from wants. Once your student is excited about one or two safety schools, filling out the rest of the list is easy and fun.</p>
<p>Don’t call them safeties! 
Call them good fits with acceptance rate/finances etc. Rolling admission schools can be great good fits & you don’t have the long wait to hear!</p>
<p>I would advise not to go to school that one do not like. It is not worth it, in most cases it backfires and result in transfer any way, which is painful process and might create obstakles for the future (whne applying to Grad. School, for example). I cannot imagine that with such a wide range of UG’s kid would not find something that he likes.</p>
<p>I agree with Hunt. D2 has 3-5 match/safety schools she could blossom. I think she would be disappointed if they were the only schools she got accepted to, but she could still do well and be happy at some point.</p>
<p>When my son was a senior three years ago, the economy had just crashed. So, we told him that he needed a financial safety, one that he would attend if the economy failed to rebound or he did not gain admission to an Ivy or Duke, his dream schools. Reluctantly, he selected one of the out of state publics that offered a huge National Merit scholarship, as well as an in state public that he would attend if he had to. He is a junior at that out of state public with that huge National Merit scholarship. He cannot imagine himself attending any other school, because the opportunities have been endless.</p>
<p>In an ideal world, each student would find at least one college that is both a FINANCIAL safety and an admissions safety, and where they could be happy. Ideally, they would apply to that college as soon as possible, and it would be a college with rolling admissions. That greatly reduces stress in the process.</p>
<p>If that doesn’t work out, keep an additional safety option in mind that has a later applications deadline.</p>
<p>Remember, many admissions safeties are also likely to offer better financial aid to a student who is at the top 15% of their applicant pool, than a college where you are a borderline applicant. In particular, many colleges offer very little financial aid to wait list admissions.</p>
<p>In general, the safety schools are likely to have much more streamlined admissions processes, so it is not hard to have a couple extra applications. Some safety-type colleges have no application fee, and many do not require an additional essay.</p>
<p>Another reason to have a financial safety is that your family’s financial situation might change very quickly and unexpectedly.</p>
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<p>Safety is not superficial. If no school on your application list is a safety (for both admissions and cost / financial aid), then there is the risk of being “shut out”. Some students use community college as the safety, but doing so should be considered beforehand, because “backing into” community college after being “shut out” may result in a big “let down” leading to other issues.</p>
<p>Obviously, the safety should be a good or acceptable fit (though many students will find a good or acceptable fit at many schools). If the student’s top choice is a safety, then that may be the only school s/he needs to apply to.</p>
<p>“All this reaches/safety…is very superficial. Everybody has a perfect place”</p>
<p>No, it’s the “perfect place” myth that is superficial - the idea that of all the colleges in the world there is ONE and ONLY ONE place that fits, and that every other choice is significantly “less than” is like believing that “everbody has one soulmate.” </p>
<p>In truth, there are a number of different places that can all work well for kids . . the reason for going through the “match/safety” thing isn’t the result: it’s the process of thinking through realistically what kind of place you’d thrive in . . . and for almost everyone there are multiple colleges that would work well.</p>
<p>Having a great experience at a college can cause one believe it was the one and only, but that’s post hoc reasoning . . that happens in good marriages, too . . . but Kurt Vonnegut was right in his book The Cat’s Cradle: we all have tangling tendrils of our lives that match up - more or less - with the people and institutions around us. If we’re fortunate, we get an 83% or an 89% of a 92% match.</p>
<p>But a perfect, 100% place? Only true if one ignores the OTHER places that would have worked as well, too.</p>
<p>Love Thy Safeties . . and Thy Financial Aid Safeties.</p>
<p>Kei beat me to it. I agree with just about everything all the posters have written except that “Everybody has a perfect place,” which just promotes the “dream school” notion that results in disappointed kids every year.</p>
<p>Think of “good fit” and “safety” as two sets of schools. The student wants to find schools which are within the intersection of those two sets and apply to one or more of them.</p>
<p>After determining one or more such schools, the student can add additional “good fit” schools to the application list, if desired.</p>
<p>I agree with Hunt and Emeraldkity4 – I think instead of “love thy safety” I’m shooting for “like your list”. And I don’t like the word “safety” – it’s an easy short hand for what we all mean, but it has a connotation of superiority in the mind of the user. </p>
<p>If your kid likes their list, it means they would like attending any school that’s on there. Sure, they’d like some more than others, but the list should never include ones that are thrown on last minute that the kid has no intention of ever attending just so they can rack up some acceptance letters.</p>
<p>I think of “safety” as a school you are sure to get into. There is no negative connotation in that. On D’s list (at the time she applied) there was only one school she didn’t really like (and that was my fault for adding it) and it was no where near an admissions safety.</p>
<p>In the case of the kids in the OP, the safeties were put on the list “just in case” probably at the insistence of guidance counselors because “with Johnny’s/Jenny’s near perfect SATs and 4.0 unweighted average, he/she is a shoe in for HYP.” A kid like that will probably not be happy at community college, but with a little thought and planning would have ended up at a perfectly good - even great school. The combination of mediocre academics at the so called “safeties” with extreme dashed expectations are just brutal.</p>
<p>Maybe I’m just cranky today, but I think the reiteration of “finding a safety that you love” is not helpful. If what you want is a liberal arts college, you’re not going to love a large state school, no matter how many times you’re told you should. Yes, you might have to learn to love it, and yes, you might find that you do, but I just don’t think it’s possible to go through the process of looking at wonderful schools without wanting to attend one of them. (The definition of a safety being taken to be, a school that you are certainly going to get into, rather than, a school you have a more-than-decent-chance of getting into–by that definition, no school that is holistic in admissions–that is, no small school–is going to be a safety.) And until the safety is truly the only option, most kids are going to be hoping and praying to get into their matches and reaches. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a safety or two on your list, but it doesn’t mean you are going to truly “love” it, unless you don’t actually care that much about your reaches. In which case, why apply to the reaches and matches? </p>
<p>I think a kid is doing pretty well to find a safety he feels that he could attend if he had to, even if he’ll be disappointed if he has to. He should be allowed to feel disappointed if, after the hue and cry after selectivity that has dominated the last couple of years, he doesn’t win the gold ring. That doesn’t mean his life is blighted, just that it will take a different turn than he expected. But it’s not reasonable to expect that he should <em>want</em> to go to a school that is radically different from his ideal and his hope.</p>
<p>Some LACs are academic safeties. It doesn’t have to be a big state school.</p>
<p>*In which case, why apply to the reaches? *</p>
<p>A reach is any school that financially & academically is a stretch- or even is just a school with a very low admission rate.
A student may have comparable academics to admitted students, but if the acceptance rate is 10%, it is going to be a reach.
A reach also can be a financial reach, while the school my oldest attended met 100% of need, that need is met with any combination of loans, grants & work study.
She was able to have her package weighted with grants, but other students who got mostly loans weren’t as fortunate- however you don’t know until you apply.</p>
<p>marysidney, I completely disagree. My D would have been perfectly happy at any one of the schools on her list (some for completely different reasons). I firmly believe there is no “perfect” school for anyone. There are a wide variety of good schools that will fit a particular child at many different acceptance levels and if your child wants an LAC there are plenty of those as well that are not as “selective”.</p>