public school vs. private school

<p>I know this topic is getting so old, and the decision is ultimately personal. For most people however, even here I believe, the decision is not one way or the other, but a balanced act of many considerations.</p>

<p>Our local public school is quite good, and I truly believe my D can get into an IVY sort school outright here while continuing to pursue those ECs she is so passionate about. I also understand some of those tangibles that private schools can offer. But at the end of the day I know I will be looking for justifications.</p>

<p>Things I will miss if D goes to a boarding school:
* Beginning of the dreadful "downsizing" and "breaking" of a closely knit family
* My Son will definitely need adjustment with her sister taking off
* Major financial expenditure however it worth every penny
* Raising a kid is not all about the final result. Process matters also which I will not be part of any more with everything left to the BS.
* Some sports' competitive level in BS may not be as challenging.</p>

<p>What's your rationale? Anything makes you so agonizing or otherwise convinced?</p>

<p>If you have a good local public or private day school option, you have the best of both worlds. My biggest concern would be how BS would raise your child? Are the children influenced by the teachers/advisors at BS or by their friends who may come in many flavors?</p>

<p>Those are legitimate concerns. Unlike college, BS is a choice instead of a necessity, so you are right in that it’s ultmately a personal decision. To us, we just wanted our kid to receive the best education possible and be more prepared for college and beyond. Did we have those concerns you are having? Sure, but we brushed them right off - “We’ll get over it. This is our kid’s future, and we won’t let those things to stand in the way…”. I know it sounds self-righteous, but that was the truth at that moment. Did we have second thoughts? You bet. It happened mostly at times when we so wanted to help him but couldn’t, when we so wanted to save him just a little trouble so he could have one more hour of sleep but realized being around when he’s busiest was a fantasy, or when we so wanted to lecture him on time management and prioritization but knew he had to learn them the hard ways… Is it worth it? Well, we are still waiting to see the impact of a BS education maybe in many years to come, so the jury is still out… Just our personal experience.</p>

<p>Honestly? If we had had a good public school option and my kid was happy there, and EC’s would have continued to challenge through senior year, I’d have kept my child home. BS filled a big yawning gap for my son, and it’s worth it because of that. But if the status quo’s solid, why change?</p>

<p>Our public school was decent but not great, but even if it were great, we might’ve still looked for private high schools. I may be biased but I think a large majority of public high schools are not particularly resourceful in developing capable well-rounded kids. There are of course many successful students from public schools but usually it takes a great deal of effort from parents to help their kids go well beyond what’s offered by the school. I wasn’t sure if we were in the position to provide that much support, but I do expect my kid’s high school to be more than loading up with AP’s and end up going to a great college. </p>

<p>What I am still not sure about is whether we should’ve picked a good day school, which was an available option. I wonder if that would be a more moderate and balanced approach. It’s true that usually smaller day schools’ resources including course/sports/extracurricular offerings can’t be compared with what’s offered at top boarding schools, but let’s face it as an individual student you can only use that much. Is it about whether there’s enough for you or is it about what’s offered but you never have a chance to use? What I don’t like about many day schools though is their smallness and consequently the “sheltered life” for students and sometimes narrow-mindedness. </p>

<p>That’s where boarding schools became attractive. In addition to quality faculty and facilities, to have access to such diversified and talented peers from around the globe at such a young age is indeed a great opportunity like no other. In that sense, “to be a big fish in a smaller pond” was exactly what we were trying to be away from. That said, whether one can benefit from such an environment and graduate from the BS with solid academic training, indepence, confidence, social skills to interact with adults and peers from different background, and a global vision is still a big question mark. Make no mistake it takes a great deal of maturity from the kid to make good use of the experience.</p>

<p>Full disclosure: In our case, we had many options including good public school, moving to a better neighborhood with great public school, excellent day schools, and top boarding schools. I think none of them is a perfect “fit” but I could see my kid work hard, be adaptable and thrive in any one of them. OTOH, I did expect the boarding school my kid attended to be “more than a school”. I hope the school’s prestige, name recognition, alum network etc. could be a help in the long run. Call me crazy but I tell my truth.</p>

<p>@DAndrea, very insightful thoughts. I think I will continue to ponder away till the end, but these discussions do help make my mind clearer.</p>

<p>A recent survey conducted by Andover shows:

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<p><a href=“http://pdf.phillipian.net/2010/12032010.pdf[/url]”>http://pdf.phillipian.net/2010/12032010.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;