Public vs Private (Fairfield Country CT)

I posted this yesterday on, I think, the wrong board… sorry-- new here…! It’s meant mostly for parents…

I would love some honest feedback about high school choices-- public vs private. I have a 7th grader who’s at a private school now, but she’ll leave for 9th grade to a high school. The academics at our public are considered to be excellent and the school offers academic and extra-curricular programs that would be great for her. She’s likely to be in AP/honors classes. The school is close by, convenient, and it is well-regarded and supported in the community. But then we see the bright shiny objects around us like GA, GFA, RCD, etc. (Hopkins would be great but I think it’s just too far and I don’t even know about admissions). What is the value-added for all the extra time and $$$ for the private schools? (I know some, being in private now, but want to hear YOUR views). Please share anything even remotely related to this quandary.
Many thanks!

FWIW, I have a group of former colleagues (British expats) and they all have kids in Greenwich HS, Staples HS in Westport, Greens Farms Academy, and Rye Country Day. Different families made different choices, but all of these people have very high standards when it comes to education… and all of them and their kids seem satisfied and happy with their choices.

Fairfield County has several excellent public HS. It depends on you and your child whether it is worth it to you.
I guess too, whatever reasons you chose private for MS probably still hold, no?

In my mind, these are things one usually gets from a private school over a public.

  1. Less dead wood, both in terms of kids and teachers, and heck even admins. A well run private school can much more easily address problem then a PS.
  2. Higher academic standards
  3. A lower ratio of students to teachers
  4. A lower ratio of students to college counselors
  5. Often, better facilities

Those are the ones that come to mind.

To me, one of the things I like about private is the tone of the administration. PS do not treat you like customers – the balance of power lies with them, not you. They can often feel like government bureaucrats. Private schools are more accommodating and collegial.

Thank you! I was torn on private vs public earlier, but we were expats moving back home, so coming back, it was her first time in a US school and it was 4th grade, plus we were renting then moving again, so private made more sense.
All your points are great ones-- I’m especially aware of the college counseling services. I worry that being in private makes it (possibly) difficult to transition to a bigger, busier school with much larger classes. (Without revealing too much detail, let’s say it’s one of the following: New Canaan, Darien, Westport-- all good, I know)

Thank you. Yes, I do find that people are generally happy with their choices (either because they’re always the right ones, or because we generally tend to think we’ve made the right ones…) I guess I am worried about her transitioning to the bigger classes and everything that goes with a higher student teacher ratio, but I do think the academics are great.

This is very much a choice that’s determined by where you live and who your child is. I know those schools well, and they’re all excellent. Here are some of the things that I’d consider:

  • Do you need a lot of flexibility on time off for extra-curricular activities? Some schools --public and private -- are very accommodating of this (I recall back in the day that Darien High School made incredible arrangements for a girl who was a top equestrienne) whereas others -- public and private -- are not.
  • Are there ECs that you can get at one but not the other?. My public HS has many more sports, for example, than my son's BS but the school is so big that it's very hard to make a team. But then again, if one were gunning for a D1 football scholarship, our public school would be a great choice.
  • What's the social environment like? If it's a small school and everyone's been together since kindergarten, that could be tough to break into -- public or private. A BS that starts in 9th grade eliminates that issue.
  • What kind of classroom environment are you looking for? Most privates are smaller, and if there are learning differences to be considered, a private that caters to your issue could be a wise choice. Then again, publics are mandated to provide services that privates do not have to provide. (Doesn't sound like this is part of your decision.)
  • IMO, I think that privates, because of the student -teacher ratio, tend to give more meaningful work which may be graded subjectively. A teacher in a public school may have too many students to grade 20 page research papers for all of them.
  • What are the academics like and what are the other students like? Will it be a stimulating environment for your child?
  • BS tend to be communities (even if you attend as a day student.) Day schools, less so, perhaps.

In that part of Fairfield County, you’re paying for excellent public schools with your tax dollars. And the other parents also want good educations for their kids. With all the money you’d save going to a public school, you could pay for a lot of enrichment and good college counseling and still have a lot left over. A friend’s son left a good public in Westchester County for a year and then told his parents that he thought he was wasting their money and his time commuting to private school and proposed that they “invest” in summer and other activities that were additive rather than in private school. He ended up at Harvard and felt like it’d been the right decision.

Where I live, we have decent public options, but the LPS is gigantic, and I felt like my son would get lost there. I also thought that he’d have trouble meeting people if he couldn’t play sports, and there were the politics (oh yes, the politics – that can be an issue at either) of coming from the “right” travel league to make the freshman team. We didn’t love the academics. It was a relatively easy choice. Had I lived a town over, it would have been more difficult. At this point (DS is a senior), we feel like what we’ve paid for BS is probably the best education money we’ll spend, but that’s largely because the fit was so right for my son.

If you can attend some events at several of the schools you’re considering, some of this might become a little clearer. Not sure if that’s possible given your situation, but sometimes, just seeing how people interact with each other at a play or a sporting event can give you a sense of what the vibe is. That’s only one piece of it, of course, but it sounds like no matter what you do, the outcome will be fine.

My daughter was accepted to all the top private high schools in Atlanta, but her dad wouldn’t pay for them (we’re divorced), and I couldn’t afford them. She wound up at a public magnet school, that was also a place she had to apply to for admission. It was a perfect fit for her!

She was very eager to challenge herself and take the most difficult courses possible. She especially wanted to take all of the science AP courses, which is something she could not do at the private schools. They all restricted the number of AP courses to six max, and she would’ve only been able to choose one of the science APs at each of the private schools. At her public school – a science magnet – she took them all, and completed 15 AP courses in total. No restrictions!

She also won international and national awards, plus numerous school awards, and was admitted to an Ivy with a research scholarship only offered to the top 1% of admitted students, plus she got full ride and near full ride offers elsewhere. She went with big scholarships at University of Minnesota – again for financial reasons – but she is confident that going the public route is no disadvantage whatsoever.

So to answer your question… I think it depends on your child and your situation. If your child is eager to take a lot of AP courses, then a top high school will be just fine. If they are reluctant to take on that heavy load, then a private school that limits AP courses might be better. (Colleges will look at whether your child took the most difficult curriculum available at their particular high school.) Likewise, if you both are eager to socialize with the top tier socioeconomic group in your community, a private school might be best. But if you are content with meeting some of those top tier families at a public school, along with many middle class and poor families and students, then a public school will work just fine.

Keep in mind that to be ranked at the top of the class at a good public school usually requires taking enormous amounts of AP courses since they are usually weighted in the GPA, whereas being at the top of a private school can be easier since they usually limit AP courses. Also, my daughter’s public school required 7 classes at a time, whereas all of the private high schools only required 5 or 6 classes at a time. In other words, private would have actually been easier, but my daughter was eager to take lots of AP courses, and we could actually afford the public school.

She started college with 60 credit hours from her AP courses – essentially a junior. Unfortunately, I will share that it will still take her four years to complete a degree because of the tiering of classes in her major. A class might require three prerequisites, for example, and based on when the classes are offered, that winds up meaning she can only take a particular class after three years. This is not uncommon. So the AP classes and credits are not really going to shorten her time in college, but what they do for her is allow her to take more advanced classes, and start on classes in her major freshman year instead of later after completing a core, plus have a wide choice of minors or a double major.

These are some of the things to consider. I will add that the private schools tended to have more after school options – places students could hang out until parents were done with work – whereas her public school did not have this option. If both parents work, this can be another consideration for private versus public. One more thing to consider is the extracurriculars. Private high schools often have very obscure sports and clubs that are just the thing that top universities are looking for, and while public high schools can have the same ones, not all of them do (for example, lacrosse, crew and glee club).

Evaluate everything when considering your choices. Some people choose private schools for religious reasons, but that is a different matter. Again, go with what works for your child and your family.

A friend of mine with a very smart and motived child at an elite private school said about their experience: “No one was going to hold my child back, but the peers at this school propel him/her forward.” If I thought my child could find a community like that at our LPS, we’d spend the savings traveling extensively every break. Either way, best of luck to you.

That’s a great line, @bookwormsmom. One of the schools ought to steal that for their marketing materials.

Tough tough tough, especially at full pay on a working persons salary. (Don’t know if that’s your situation, just assuming)

I grew up in that area, and I can’t say that me or my peers has great high school experiences. I wish I would have known more about boarding school then (although this was 30+ years ago, and our belief that bs was somewhere where unwanted kids get sent to do drugs was a lot more accurate then that it is now.)

Apparently New Canaan, Darien and Staples are really quite amazing these days - their academic offerings, sports programs & college placements are on par or even better than most private/prep schools.

I considered moving back there to send DS to HS, but among other things, what dissuaded me was a fear of him entering a public school as a “new kid”, rather than starting 9th along with his entire class.

Of course I also worried about partying. Kids in those 3 schools specifically party their butts off! I’m not saying it’s not an issue elsewhere, but that also had me very concerned.

In the end, we chose bs. Best decision ever.

My $.02

We lived in Fairfield County until recently. The public schools are fantastic. We chose boarding school for our son in part because we were in a smaller Fairfield County town and the school was remote and rural. Living in the country with little to do is a bad atmosphere for a high energy teen. We also looked at Hopkins but he would have been on a bus 2 hours a day. Boarding school means NO time on a bus. If you are in a more urban/ walkable environment and close to one of the excellent schools I would be totally comfortable with public. I would plan/expect to pay for an outside college counsellor. I do not believe that there is more partying at the public schools than at the private. There is partying at both, believe me.