<p>This hyper-tutoring is about the worst thing you can do for a kid’s self-esteem–the communication being “you can’t do this on your own,” and “everyone has to be the top 3-5%, otherwise feel bad about yourself” and “the accomplishment, accomplished via tutoring, isn’t your own.” </p>
<p>The college-bound world, led by overzealous and vicarious parents, has gone crazy.</p>
<p>And the emotional cost for our children is prohibitive.</p>
<p>I know kids (and I’m not in NYC) who have a tutor for every academic course and basketball/soccer/rowing tutors. These kids, unanimously, have lost authentic passion for learning and their sports. And they stumble around like the walking dead–they are exhausted and fall asleep with their hands in their dinner plates–that is, when they even eat with their families.</p>
<p>You cannot sustain any independent performance in college when you have been buoyed by tutors since age 5.</p>
<p>I’m with you, garland. The fact is, many students, like your kids and mine, end up at the same colleges as these highly tutored kids. They seem to be able to do their schoolwork without tutoring. Where I live, tutoring is more typical for low performing students, not students who are capable of doing the work and who are bound for selective colleges. </p>
<p>And yes, I realize those elite NYC private high schools are demanding, but ya know, the blurb says the course used primary texts and not text books, well so did the integrated Honors English/History classes at our crummy public. In fact, I’m glad our school taught this way instead of using texts and teaching to some AP exams. It was demanding, yeah. But my kids did not utilize tutors in order to do well in demanding classes and managed to get into very good colleges that those families may also be seeking. It really is not necessary to be tutored in academics if your kid has the smarts and motivation and work ethic. And what are those kids gonna do when they get to elite colleges where there is no paid person helping them do their homework?? </p>
<p>It’s not just a matter of money. I could never conceive of a tutor to help my kids do homework unless the kids were poor students with disabilities or some such.</p>
<p>I know a kid at Harvard and a kid at Yale who are being tutored for Calculus and Chem, respectively, and any class involving writing, and they are not the only ones they report. The TAs have gotten into the game and have replaced their high school tutors–a nice way to supplement their own meagre stipends, I guess. But it feels somehow disingenuous and almost predatory.</p>
<p>It works a lot of times for kids who would otherwise NOT get into such school or learn the fundamentals. It doesn’t always work but it ups the odds that it does. </p>
<p>In the “olden” days, royalty was so tutored in every discipline so that even the average monarch had a thorough education.</p>
<p>I was never a believer of affirmative action until recently. We can never afford that kind of money to hire tutors, but our kids do get “free” help from their dad, who holds a Ph.D in EE. I always thought what about those kids whose parents have to work part time jobs at night, or not even speaking English.These kids not only have to cook themselves, some have to babysit younger siblings, how do they compete with my kids, let alone those who have multiple tutors? Equal opportunity now sounds fair to me.</p>
<p>You look around government and business and see so many people in high places who really are rather dim. And you wonder how they got there. Yup–this kind of stuff has always existed for the rich and entitled. Probably to the detriment of the rest of us.</p>
<p>I just don’t understand all this hate about kids getting tutored, as if every rich kid in this world has been tutored, and all of those poor rich kids are going some how fail in college when they are on their own.</p>
<p>We are not rich, but our kids did go to highly regarded private school. They got tutored for SATs. D2 went to Kumon in fifth grade for math, which was necessary due to all the new math they were teaching in school. Most of their friends didn’t get tutored for schoolwork, but may have needed some help on few subjects here and there. D1 made really good money in tutoring kids in public school ($50/hour). All of D1’s good friends from her private school (15 kids) went to good colleges and got very good grades and most of them have jobs upon graduation.</p>
<p>We were lucky that our kids were able to excel in school on their own, but if they were having any difficulties, I would not hesitate in getting them the help they need. Is it better for parents to do nothing instead of stepping up to help out? I say those kids are lucky that at least their parents care.</p>
<p>sooziet - with all due respect, you couldn’t see parents getting tutors to help their kids with schoolwork, but you could see parents spend money in engaging private college counselors.</p>
<p>I have some kids that are not going to get into ivy league schools. They are not top students and they need supplementation to get to a certain point academically, and outside help for some of it is needed. I have one who just doesn’t write well. Now had he gone to the school that two of his bros attended, that would have been addressed. He would have taken it on the chin in terms of grades, but when he got out, he would be able to write college essays comfortably. </p>
<p>He writes adequately, but not well. He did not take AP or even honors English at his school. But he is a good student and is willing to work hard. I think getting a tutor for him, one of the teachers at that private school would be a good investment. He doesn’t charge anywhere near what the OP’s article’s tutor charges., but it is going to be an extra expense. But he is working this summer and hasnt’ cost me much in summer activities since his jobs are his main activity, so I will pay for him. We also did not engage a private college counselor and we used a tutor for the SATs that cost about half of what the canned courses demand. I’m just glad I know someone who is very, very good at teaching someone how to write for college. None of my other kids got tutored for subjects in high school, though they did at times in the lower grades. I don’t see any big deal in getting a tutor. If you have the money and want to engage one and the kid is cooperating, you are set. I can think of a lot more frivolous ways to spend the money. </p>
<p>The fact that this situation made the news, pretty much classifies it as unusual. But, yes, this situation does exist for those who can afford it.</p>
<p>This is freakish if you ask me. Where do the parents draw the line? If you care THAT MUCH about your darling’s success, because they really don’t have the ability on their own, you are probably also someone willing to hire someone to do their homework, write their essays for applicants, and so on.</p>
<p>And when does it stop? Tutors for courses in college for anything that might end up a B? Such kids going to grad school or a job afterwards? Is mom and dad paying for consultants on the side to help them with that too? </p>
<p>I mean this quite seriously. I understand the need for remediation and one-on-one assistance when a child struggles with a particular course, especially to get the foundations and/or catch up to their peers. But ongoing tutoring to ensure a perfect GPA, at any cost? Sick and I’d say dysfunctional on so many levels. </p>
<p>I sure hope I never have such kids seeking to work with me in graduate school.</p>
<p>Oldfort–I think the point was this was not kids having difficulties; this was kids who were doing fine being punched up extra. Sure, it’s their money, and sure, it’s their right. My point remains–why not let the kids be who they are, succeeding at the level they are, rather than this constant need to elevate? Not everyone is a big league pitcher, and not everyone is a top student. </p>
<p>There is a huge difference between helping a kid with a problem, and needing to get them to the top by whatever means necessary.</p>
<p>No one’s saying they shouldn’t be allowed to, but I don’t see why having an opinion constitutes some kind of faux pas.</p>
<p>How many kids fail out college because they don’t even know how to ask for help? </p>
<p>How many kids get tutored on every subject and how many families pay that kind of money? Very few, but no one would read the article if it was talking about regular people.</p>
<p>The faux pas here is when anyone would possibly spend more money than others, whether it’s private vs public school(college or k-12), spending money, food, vacation, housing, EC, you name it. There are people who travel by private plane rather than coach, like some of us, and there are people who carry 20k bag instead of $20 one. If they think it’s worth 450/ hr for tutoring, it’s their money. I am glad I don’t have to pay for it. But I bet you, they are still nice people, and their kids are the same as ours.</p>
<p>We have a friend whose daughters go to one of the elite NYC schools. They just signed up for tutoring at $400 per hour. BUT…</p>
<p>-they got a discount (which they didn’t ask for) so they pay $350
-the “hour” is actually 90 minutes, and
-the tutor comes to their house, so let’s add 30 minutes on either side, and therefore</p>
<p>I have NOTHING against tutoring itself. I am a former teacher. My 24 year old daughter tutored underprivileged children in their homes in Cambridge under a govt. program a year ago. When I think of tutoring for academic subjects, I think of it as remedial help for those who are struggling and need some one to one help outside the classroom group time. That doesn’t seem to be what this article is about, however. It sounds like parents who are paying for tutors for very bright kids (who were admitted to these elite prep schools in the first place) who should be capable of the work and they are paying for the elite education already and the tutors seem like some extra they are paying for to get some advantage they assume. It is one thing if a kid is failing and you hire a tutor in that subject. If the kid is capable of the work (and should be if placed in those classes in that setting), then he/she should be able to do the work on a regular basis independently. It sounds like a huge number of kids at those elite prep schools have tutors for their homework and I tend to not believe that they are doing so because they are doing poorly and struggling but more as it seems like a “must have” or some “advantage” for college or some such. No, I never heard of that and it never happens where I live. </p>
<p>I am for SAT tutoring. I actually think some prep for these tests (a necessary evil!) is good to do and some do that fine independently. Some take a class but I don’t think those classes are too effective, particularly for a brighter student. I think some sessions with a tutor who can diagnose the problem areas and help with some strategies can be a good thing. </p>
<p>Obviously I am not against college counseling…:D…surely a family can go about college selection and admissions on their own (and use CC!!) but having one to one guidance can be beneficial in helping them to navigate the process, when a school guidance counselor may not be able to give that level of attention (but after all, there are school guidance counselors and the intent is that kids are supposed to get some guidance for college admissions and so paying for it if you aren’t getting it elsewhere is something I understand). Paying for help with homework when one is not struggling or failing and is supposed to do homework on their own…no, I don’t really get that, money aside. Remedial help…of course…it is a great thing. Tutoring in every subject when the student can succeed and is capable of the schoolwork…doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. In fact, this is news to me. It is just one more reason I am so happy my kids grew up in a rural community at a public high school where none of this stuff went on whatsoever. In the end, they landed at the colleges of their choice, and these were colleges (or selective programs) that students at those elite prep schools also seek out (hundreds of thousands of dollars put into it to get the same result).</p>
<p>oldfort…I don’t begrudge what others spend money on. I have nothing against rich people at all and am sure many are super nice! My feeling about this isn’t to do with the cost but rather, the concept! I would not even do it if it were free unless my kid was having trouble in school and needed remedial tutoring.</p>
<p>Such intense outside tutoring for one class strikes me as really not right (and my kids went to a school very similar to Riverdale). I can’t imagine paying so much for tutoring on top of private school tuition, whether or not you can afford it. It seems to me that Riverdale should be making a effort to vary the content of these courses year to year, and to control the impact of tutoring on student performance in these classes. </p>
<p>My kids did not use outside tutoring for classes in their private school. One son did work with a teacher in one intense science class, at no extra expense. Teachers at their private school were very available for extra help, and I know many students spent extra time with teachers for math and science classes. </p>
<p>I will note that Advantage Testing was worth every penny for SAT tutoring.</p>