@menloparkmom Looking at the fact that she raised the kid and is probably going to pay his tuition I’d say she has at least a little say into where he’s going. But looking at the colleges, Stanford vs UC Berkeley, UCLA, etc… isn’t a huge jump so I sure he’ll be fine with whatever he chooses.
I wouldn’t have let my kid apply to anyplace I wouldn’t pay for.
If you want your child to attend Stanford because you HONESTLY think it will provide him with the best environmental, financial aid, and educational opportunities in life (and not just because it’s a top 10 school), then you should encourage him to really research each of the schools he’s applying to, and decide what’s truly best for HIM. If he still wants to attend a different school, it’s really his life, so I think he should get the final say in deciding where he wants to spend his next four years.
The main outlier in this list seems to be Pepperdine.
Well my son was accepted at USC and UC Berkeley. Pepperdine was a safety school that his girlfriend is attending. It also cost just as much as Stanford so I did not want him to go there. I don’t think he really ever considered it but it was on the list. He let us know that he has narrowed his choices to Berkeley and Stanford and USC. I agree with the principles of @intparent and if I’m helping to pay I would like some input on the choice so I’m ok with a little friendly nudge toward Stanford. I have researched and have spoken to many people and considered input (like those in this thread) and I think Stanford will provide the best opportunity for him. With that said if he doesn’t feel great about Stanford after visiting then hello UCB or USC.
I haven’t kept up on this thread recently, but applaud you for being open minded, many parents would have assumed the process was done when the student got the Stanford acceptance.
Good luck - excellent choices! You must be proud 
Not sure what accepted student visit options there are for his 3 finalists, but he should attend them all if at all possible. Seems daunting with class, EC obligations, etc. But this is the most important thing right now.
@intparent Already took a tour of USC and his mom is an alum. Taking part of spring break next week to tour Berkeley and plans to attend Stanford Admit weekend on April 28-30 then decide by May 1st.
Tour is not the same as 24 hour accepted visits (if they allow overnight stays). Schools are trying to put their best foot forward, and really give students an opportunity to experience a lot of different things – although they don’t always succeed on the best foot part! Forget HS classes and ECs – these visits are far more important.
Thanks @intparent UCB two overnight stay programs in April. We will attend one of these with him to give him a more detailed look. One is the weekend right before Stanford. Is back to back weekends too much or should I space them out? any thoughts?
My kid did two accepted student two,day overnight visits in one week. One was Tuesday/Wednesday. The next was Thursday/Friday. It was fine.
No issue with back to back in my opinion.
^^ ditto .
DS was gone for 5 days on his accepted students trip to 2 colleges on the east coast. his AP Physics teacher was not pleased but she was always a hardass.
Congratulations!! I think it is actually helpful to do the visits close together; sorta of a side by side comparison. My D did UCB and USC couple days apart so both visits were fresh in her mind. BTW, she went with USC. It was a difficult decision but she just felt like she would be happier at SC and a better fit. My husband and I decided better to have a happy child than an unhappy child. We have friends who pushed their kids to one school vs another and in several cases it did not work out well. I have a sibling who went to Stanford and husband UCB, obviously all wonderful schools and really can’t go wrong.
S15 did 3 accepted student visits with overnights in around 10 days. It was crazy, but necessary. He had three awesome choices and a very hard decision to make. The Admit days were extremely beneficial…although it was still a very tough decision until May 1. Good luck!!
Your son will probably reach the same amount of success no matter where he goes.
http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/04/the-3-percent-crisis/389396/
His schools are all great options. Provided you can pay for all of them, just let him choose.
@CaliCash Much of your above advice is good, but this quote is ridiculous IMO:
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Using the College and Beyond data set and National Longitudinal Survey of the High School Class of 1972, we find that students who attended more selective colleges earned about the same as students of seemingly comparable ability who attended less selective schools.
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First of all, 1972 ?!? 44 years ago the world was quite different…the ‘elite’ schools had barely begun admitting women, for goodness’ sake!
More importantly: I think it is absurd to measure the quality of an educational experience by future salary. College is so much more than job training. Many of my Yale classmates now have rich fulfilling lives as teachers, homemakers, nonprofit organizers, writers, some are unemployed. Others have earned good money in their careers. All treasure their time attending and immersing themselves in a world-class college experience.
As to the OP’s question, usually we parents do have the longer term viewpoint and life experience. We want and (usually) know what is best for our child. Moreover, we are paying the bills and should have the largest say in the college decision. Child’s valid interests and concerns are very important too. It’s a balancing act.
Our children don’t share their every thought with us and thought it may be hard to articulate it as a 17 yr old I am sure there is a voice in his head. Let him listen to it if the costs are covered.
Hi, I’m a member of the high school class of 1972.
I went to an elite school – Cornell – which began admitting women just about a hundred years earlier.
My parents were surprised that I wanted to apply to that university. They had expected me to apply to certain other elite schools that accepted women. They were called the Seven Sisters.
@pickpocket, I’m not disagreeing with your view that the data under discussion are outdated. I think you’re right about that. But I disagree with your view that an elite education was not available to women before the 1970s.
@Marian You’re quite right and I should have worded that better. Cornell and Penn were well ahead of the rest of the Ivies (other 6 did not go coed until '69 or later.) And there are lots of non-Ivy elite schools that have been coed for a century and lots who were all male until 50s-70s.