Putting things into perspective...

Prep School Admissions
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<p>Before I begin my rant, I would first like to send my most sincere "congratulations" to all the admitted and wait-listed applicants. Although these acceptances are in no way, an indication of where you'll be down the road or your intellectual ability, it is truly an accomplishment. Be proud. </p>

<p>Now, to all the rejected applicants. I applied to eight schools this admissions season. I was also rejected at * every, single, one of them *. Trust me, you're not alone. The majority of the members on this board was rejected or wait-listed AT LEAST one school. Feel free to cry and whine for the first few weeks, but then we all need to move on. Don't fret. Although it may sound cliche, "everything truly will be okay".</p>

<p>Let's put this into perspective. Is boarding school (or even college for that matter) really necessary in order to make radical, social change? No. The majority of our world's most radical leaders, that really made political and societal change, didn't attend an absurdly competitive, college preparatory, boarding school. Some of them didn't even attend college. For the most part, success depends on the student, not the school. I'm essentially saying that, Rosanne Adderly and Hafsat Abiola would have still been great historians, even if they didn't attend Andover. What I just said may seem very evident. However, we all seem to forget, that these "notable alumni" that attend these schools that we so desperately want to attend, would still be who they are, regardless of what school they attended. It seems as though, some of us are a little too consumed in prestige. Please don't be deloused. A prestigious school cannot teach you how to be unconventional, progressive, or radical. </p>

<p>I'm not saying that every CC member, are applying to these college prep schools, solely for their prestige. I understand that everyone has their own individual reason as to why they wanted to attend boarding school. At the beginning of the school year, I attended a large, traditional public school. It didn't work for me. It didn't provide the individualized, personal learning environment, that I yearned for. My current school does have much smaller classrooms and a more personalized learning environment. However, it is technically a continuation school. Both schools had a very limited course selection. I needed a balance. I needed a school that was going to have small class sizes, personalized learning environment, a vast selection of courses, like-minded students, and an overall progressive school. I thought that boarding school, would be just that. Therefore, I was incredibly distraught when I discovered that I was rejected at all eight schools. However, I (and all the other "rejects") will be just fine without a bourgeois, competitive, college preparatory, boarding school. I say that, not in a condescending, bitter, boastful manner. I say that to demonstrate that, success depends on the student, NOT THE SCHOOL. </p>

<p>To all the "rejects" (myself included):
These "rejections" are in no way an indication of your intellectual capability, ability to think critically, or future academic achievement. All it says, is that for "whatever reason", these schools couldn't appreciate what you had to offer. Let me ask you a question. Do you * really * want to attend a school, that can't appreciate you, for who and what you are? There are plenty of applicants who weren't admitted the first time, but then improved their grades, test scores etc., and were accepted. Why is that? Their character didn't change. However, their academic achievement improved, and that's what they care about. Do you really want to be at a school like that? If the answer is "yes", that's fine. However, I don't necessarily want to be at a school like that. </p>

<p>My primary objective in creating this thread, was to "put things into perspective". Hopefully, I met my objective...</p>

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<p>starkali, what you achieved in your gracious “rant” is that you’ve got a lot of class…</p>

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<p>^i agree xD but stay strong starkali! it’s a wide world out there, and bs =/= success :)</p>

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<p>Starkali, I have lurked on CC for some time now but this is my first post. I am a parent of a senior at a highly competitive school and a second one that will be going this Fall. During the application process and beyond I have always found your posts to be dignified and supportive of everyone. You are someone that my kids and I have rooted for silently all through the past few months. You are an incredible young person and you WILL succeed because you are mature and compassionate.I wish you all the best in your future endeavors and know that a family of strangers miles away from you were in your corner all through this. It will truly be a loss or the schools that judged you only on numbers and never saw what we did in you as absolute strangers. Good luck and stay positive always.</p>

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<p>Individualized and personal learning environment? Do you have LDs?</p>

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<p>^ That was uncalled for. Please ignore yourself like we’ll all do.</p>

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<p>@pcotten, I don’t believe that was starkali’s point. I always appreciate her well thought out posts. </p>

<p>For the record–having NOTHING to do with starkali-- there are many, many successful, gifted people who also have learning differences. Success in a traditional academic environment is not a synonym for life success.</p>

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<p>“However, I don’t necessarily want to be at a school like that.” Ummmmm . . . yes, you do. You applied to them. Why apply if you didn’t want to be “at a school like that.” All of these schools, up and down the ladder of selectivity, are “like that,” meaning that they absolutely, positively care about academic achievement. As does, and will, every college you eventually apply to. Getting in to any of these schools on the basis of “personal qualities” or force of personality is an utter canard. Never, ever happens and anyone who told you so mislead you terribly.</p>

<p>The prep schools, like colleges, are academic institutions first and foremost. Whatever the merits of personality, sports prowess, flawed genius, etc. etc., as indicia of potential future achievement, these schools are all trying to ensure that people they accept can handle – first and foremost – what the schools do, which is: academic, “college preparatory” work. All the stuff they publicise about “holistic admissions” really happens AFTER you clear the academic hurdle of GPAs and test scores; if you don’t have these, you don’t even begin the conversation. </p>

<p>Yes, many fine people succeed without a formal college education, much less a prep school education. Of course. But the observation – however much true – is actually irrelevant. There is I suppose some bare “comfort” to many here in this salon des refusees in providing examples of inherent intellectual strength and character that expressed themselves absent a prep school experience. But real analysis begins at the point where you look coldly at your pure academic “credentials,” determine if they looked good or not, and if they didn’t then you have a clear answer. Academic credentials will not get trumped by force of personality or squishy “qualities” for the schools at the top of the leaderboard. If you find you have the qualities, and were still waitlisted or rejected, determine then whether you needed substantial FA (which goes really only to a few) and/or whether your ECs were likely distinguished and your essays and recommenders unique. Beyond academics, all of these variables come in to play. But, I say again, these variables are never even considered by these schools unless you show them the academic cards first and have fundamental credibility on that basis. SSAT > 80% is probably a starting point here, as are at least B+'s and A’s.</p>

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<p>starkali - I sent you a PM.</p>

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<p>I don’t know if starkali is still around and I really don’t mean to rub it in. My comment is directed to the posters especially the adult posters on this board. Sometimes we can be so concerned about “political correctness” that it feels like we are out of touch. By that I mean no one (me included) ever had the guts to tell starkali that with her SSAT score and GPA as she reported, she had VERY little chance of getting in the schools she applied for. The results turned out painful (as many of us predicted “secretely”). Caution to newbies: Posters here wheile they are comforting and supportive can mislead you too.</p>

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<p>I agree with ibabble. I, too, have been rooting for you. You’re a thoughtful, considerate poster. Once some time has passed, I hope you’ll entertain the idea of making another run for a bs.</p>

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<p>I admire Starkali’s post and spirit–and you’re right that awesome academic scores are not the full measure of a persont I also agree with DAndrew. It might be kinder to do a little chancing on this board, particularly for students who need financial aid. Those who can pay will almost always be able to find a school that meets them where they are.</p>

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<p>@123mama - I am asking a question about something written in her post. There is no shame in having LDs, IF she does. My child does. Kids with LDs need individualized programs. My child is brilliant in some areas and weak in some. We didn’t apply to any of the “top” schools since we knew with the low SSAT score and LDs, there is no chance of getting admission into the top schools and they don’t have the programs we need. We applied to lower level schools and we got admission into those.</p>

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<p>@classicalmama: It’s tough out there. Even when one doesn’t need FA, if they don’t “manage” well, the results could still be disappointing. <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1303492-cant-figure-out-any-thoughts.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1303492-cant-figure-out-any-thoughts.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>This statement should be put on a sticky at the very top of the board, and be required reading for every single student and parent starting this journey.</p>

<p>The schools discussed most frequently on this board (the super-selective schools) look for a baseline of demonstrated academic achievement (grades) and aptitude (test scores). For most of these schools, that is an A-average over several years, and test scores in the 80% and above range. If you don’t meet that baseline, then your odds for acceptance are going to be much, much lower than the many other candidates applying that can clear that hurdle.</p>

<p>Do some people get accepted with grades and test scores below that - yes, but I think it is a relatively small number, perhaps less than 25%. And these applicants all have a specific talent or attribute that the schools are actively seeking (i.e. athletic prowess).</p>

<p>I think in our desire to be kind and supportive, sometimes posters on this forum encourage applicants who have very little chance to be accepted to these “most selective” schools. </p>

<p>Before the list of schools to apply to is created, an applicant needs to realistically assess their academic credentials. Take the SSAT first, do some research on average SSAT scores at the targeted schools, then decide if the you want to continue to chase the dream.</p>

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<p>@DAndrew–I see what you’re saying, and my impression is that “cast a wider net” is meant as code for “look for schools with higher admit rates.” </p>

<p>I posted on another thread this morning, don’t remember which one, if I had been focused on schools outside of the acronym schools with this DC, I wouldn’t have perceived CC as a good source of info. The hidden gems thread is nice to have, but it’s one thread, and many of the schools listed aren’t hidden, less selective, etc. There are many, not enough, but many excellent boarding schools in this country, with very strong academics, matriculation stats, healthy communities, etc. Unfortunately, quite a few of those have significantly smaller endowments, and those who need FA have to take that into consideration. </p>

<p>I like CC, lurk much more than I post, and have found excellent info. I have also found the prep school forum to often be a place of extremes…“I have no ECs, a C avg, my math teacher hates me, and a 30% on the SSAT, will Exeter take me?” or “I’ve been doing 9 years of 8 different ECs, never got less than an A+, 99% on SSAT, speak 5 languages, all teachers love me, I’ve cured liver cancer, fed the children of India every summer of my live, performed at Carnegie Hall, etc”</p>

<p>*apologies to pcotten, I misinterpreted your post.</p>

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<p>Thank you for those of you who are being brave enough to say some things that have mostly been stifled here on CC. Isn’t this forum supposed to be helpful and informative not just a cheering section? </p>

<p>I was dismayed at how many kids and parents were put down for being overjoyed at their acceptances. Not gloating is one thing, not being able to even say Hey I got into SPS and Exeter, help me choose, is something else altogether. And I don’t think those who have been accepted at great schools have to preface everything they say with an apology, just being generally considerate in wording is enough.</p>

<p>I encourage everyone to strive for their dream BUT be realistic too. Apply to SPS but also apply to schools that maybe more closely match your stats. Find the school that wants YOU and convince them that you’ll be an asset to THEM.</p>

<p>As to FA at hidden gems, 2 of my children have received close to full financial aid at so-called “lower tier” schools. Neither is an athlete and frankly they are both low on extracurriculars, to a large degree because of our particular situation. Both very smart and have very high test scores but not straight A grades. They are great kids, etc., etc., but they haven’t written the great American novel, studied ballet for 10 years, or anything like that. Out of the 4 and 5 schools they applied to, only one school gave each both an acceptance and the necessary FA.</p>

<p>Our most recent FA award really surprised me and we are hugely grateful. Another school with a much higher endowment admitted d but put her on FA waitlist, even though on their website they pretty much say they will meet 100% of the need of admitted students (they leave just a sliver of wiggle room that an average reading won’t pick up). The hidden gem’s financial aid award is a noticeable chunk of their endowment and I never expected it.</p>

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<p>“Apply to SPS but also apply to schools that maybe more closely match your stats.”</p>

<p>Honestly this process should be like college admission processes… All applicants should apply for reach schools, fit schools, and safety schools. It seems that in this forum we seem to have a completely different definition of “safety” schools though, so I don’t know… xD</p>

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<p>I think for the 2012-2013 year, we should try to be more honest. I’ve found that being honest on this site is usually “shut down” if you are saying something negative. It’s frustrating because I want to be able to let kids know, “Hey, you might not get in”. With every honest post I make on here, kids get defensive and end up insulting me to feel better about themselves. Now it’s second-nature to sugar coat everything, or ignore the thread, in order to not disturb anyone. </p>

<p>I firmly believe: you need to be open to criticisms in order to improve.</p>

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<p>The difference between prep school admissions and college admissions is that high school students always have the option of attending their local public high school. (I know that in many cases, that’s a not-so-great option, but it is an option.)</p>

<p>I don’t know of any state that provides a FREE college education to all. Public schools K-12 are required by law to provide a “free and appropriate” education to all students, regardless of test scores or abilities/disabilities.</p>

<p>If you want to attend college, and you are flat-out rejected at all the schools where you apply, you don’t have any “fall-back” options. (You can apply to community college, but community colleges don’t “guarantee” admission either - there are minimum requirements for admission at those schools, too.) </p>

<p>If an applicant has a good local public school option, then applying to a bunch of “reach” schools is fine, because even if you’re not admitted, you will still have the opportunity to get a high school education.</p>