WannaBe…I would like to console you, as I can “feel” how aggrieved you are, but I will tell you that, according to the old saying, water finds its own level, and your daughter will find herself among those who affirm and support the type of intellectual and academic life she seeks and imbues.
But to feel peace, you will have to put down that bag of concern about whatever fortunes swirl in the wind around the other child (the ‘friend’).
My daughter recently went to a fly-in program across the country and when she returned she shared with us that most of the kids there were from the Questbridge Program, and how many schools they had visited, and were yet to visit. Many of them shared financial information in group, and my daughter returned home wondering how some of the kids are in Questbridge when she is not eligible. I simply wondered if the Questbridge nominees were the next wave of protected class students who would edge out my enormously talented, hard working, and high achieving child for a spot at a college she desires to attend. I wondered that for about 15 minutes, and then decided that there is always something that will be the reason, known or unknown, suspected or spied, that could dump a heap of disappointment in my daughter’s lap, and she did not need me musing aloud about kids that have had the good fortune to find a program that will help them to navigate a process that her mother and father can help her to navigate.
My daughter is part of the biggest protected class that people love to belly-ache about, and while it is clear how she achieves the standing she does, still, the same eyes of doubt and wonder are probably cast her way at times.
Your daughter’s, and your own, hard work is about to get a little bit harder, but maybe she will also have tremendous fortune with college aid. Maybe it will continue to be a struggle. I don’t know.
But I wish you peace, and I wish you well.