Well as I said, the thing that bugs me most is that the kid has a 31 ACT and is looking at Princeton, Dartmouth and Stanford, while my kids has a 34 ACT and is hearing that that’s on the low side for these types of schools (which is correct). But Questbridge somehow makes it so that you can go to these schools with a 31 ACT.
WannaBe…I would like to console you, as I can “feel” how aggrieved you are, but I will tell you that, according to the old saying, water finds its own level, and your daughter will find herself among those who affirm and support the type of intellectual and academic life she seeks and imbues.
But to feel peace, you will have to put down that bag of concern about whatever fortunes swirl in the wind around the other child (the ‘friend’).
My daughter recently went to a fly-in program across the country and when she returned she shared with us that most of the kids there were from the Questbridge Program, and how many schools they had visited, and were yet to visit. Many of them shared financial information in group, and my daughter returned home wondering how some of the kids are in Questbridge when she is not eligible. I simply wondered if the Questbridge nominees were the next wave of protected class students who would edge out my enormously talented, hard working, and high achieving child for a spot at a college she desires to attend. I wondered that for about 15 minutes, and then decided that there is always something that will be the reason, known or unknown, suspected or spied, that could dump a heap of disappointment in my daughter’s lap, and she did not need me musing aloud about kids that have had the good fortune to find a program that will help them to navigate a process that her mother and father can help her to navigate.
My daughter is part of the biggest protected class that people love to belly-ache about, and while it is clear how she achieves the standing she does, still, the same eyes of doubt and wonder are probably cast her way at times.
Your daughter’s, and your own, hard work is about to get a little bit harder, but maybe she will also have tremendous fortune with college aid. Maybe it will continue to be a struggle. I don’t know.
But I wish you peace, and I wish you well.
I don’t think this kid has done any fly in programs anywhere, maybe because she is not a minority, not sure. I know we would have heard about it if she did. Thanks for the assurances on this everyone and for not jumping all over me - too much!
@WannaBeInMD your sense of injustice on behalf of your daughter and hurt is palpable. Our journey while it ultimately ended up with the desired outcome was one of months of anxiety, tears, fear, a sense of loss, anger and a deep sense of injustice. QuestBridge is certainly an asset in a student’s arsenal but it isn’t the miracle worker I sense you feel it is. Statistics from 2014, which is the year my daughter participated in College Match, will hopefully ease some of your frustration. QuestBridge had 11,654 applications of which 4,180 were chosen as Finalists, of those Finalists only 501 were offered admission and College Match scholarships. QuestBridge may help get a student’s application a bit of a longer look but it is not a guarantee of acceptance. The universities and colleges have all the power of accepting or denying a student admission. The scholarships are offered from each individual university or college. QuestBridge provides no tuition assistance.
And there are recruited athletes who will get in with a 28 ACT. And development admits who will get in with a 30 ACT. And promising URMs who will get in with 29 ACT. And a celebrity’s son who will get in with a 32. It’s not a linear process. Students are admitted for all kinds of reasons, fair or unfair. Think of it like casting a play, rather than selecting the smartest students.
And since when is a 34 ACT “on the low side” for Princeton, Dartmouth, and Stanford? Princeton’s middle 50% is 32-35. Dartmouth mid 50% is 30-34, with a 32 mean.
34 is not low. It’s her GPA that is on the low side (for the Ivies). But still, if your D wants to go to Princeton or wherever, she should apply. All of these schools have free applications for the asking.
@brantly: A “development” admit? Can you expound?
“Development” means donations. A “development” admit is someone who has a connection to a big donor.
@Cardinal Fang: Okay; had no idea, and my mind was spinning in the wrong direction. Thank you.
@GirlChild A development admit can be someone who is referred by a big donor. It can also be someone who comes from a very wealthy family that has the potential to donate a lot of money, even if the parents did not previously have a connection to the university.
http://online.wsj.com/public/resources/documents/Polk_Rich_Applicants.htm
@Brantly: I had never read anything like that before, thank you so much. I am a bit astounded, quite frankly. That guy Hetherington has his head up his asterisk, as Jack McCoy would say, if he thinks “things worked out for some reason.”
Yup. Money talks.
OP’s daughter’s friend can look at Princeton or Stanford all she wants. As others have pointed out, only a tiny percentage of QB Finalists are matched - and most of those, judging by the narratives posted on this website, live below the poverty line and have incredible personal stories of overcoming hardship to excel academically.
As for “cheating” and “not deserving” QB Finalist status…my son was a finalist last year: white male, family income over $60,000 the year he applied. He’s the oldest of 5 kids, but that’s about his only hook. We certainly aren’t even “upper middle class,” let alone wealthy, but it’s not like he’s had financial hardships to overcome. I suspect we were on the far end of the income range for QB at the time, but he was selected without cheating.
@greeninohio: I don’t think the OP was talking about kids from families who are living off of wages and prudent savings plans, but the one particular family situation where it is possible to believe they are living off of dividends and not yearly earnings from work.
There used to be a profile listings of Questbridge-matched kids for any selected year that one could read. Two or three years ago I read a profile about a kid from a family with an outstanding family income (no kidding, I think it was like $200,00) who was matched. I do not remember a single thing about this kid’s background or family story, but I am sure it was compelling. There was also a story about a girl who did everything under the sun, from captain the golf or lacrosse team, to soup kitchen work on a regular basis, to tutoring and some other amazing things, all the while being at the top of her class and living in a English-as-second language household where the family income was about 34k a year.
The latter child was among the kids who have been in private school on scholarship their whole lives, who continue to be among a select group of students to progress up the chain of select educational institutions. How one defines privilege, and if there is a cut-off point for determining if the privilege-access-package has run its course is one thing that comes to mind when I read about kids whose families, true, are still just as poor as they have always been, but the student has had amazing life opportunities due to outreach and placement.
Glad to know your son took a chance and applied, as so many who are even slightly above the understood threshold, are dissuaded from seeking to match, though the website clearly says there is no definitive cap to family income for those families it serves.
Every program is going to have someone at the margins whose circumstances are significantly better than someone who doesn’t qualify. There are people in my state whose income is just over the cap for WIC and other food-assistance programs (just ask anyone who runs a food pantry) but who are needier than those who qualify- they’ve got a medical situation or a disabled child-- but the “charts” say they earn too much. There are kids who get generous need based aid at college- dad’s a minister, mom’s a social worker, but there is family money, status, and social capital dating back to the Mayflower which renders the idea of these kids needing a “helping hand” absurd. On paper- yes, their income and assets qualify. But sell the Turner or Picasso hanging in the dining room (handed down from great-grandpa), or the Chippendale desk in the hallway (where great, great grandpa signed the contracts which got the family out of cotton and into coal) and boom- millions more in the bank.
Are you going to spend your life aggravated that some people have more than you? Or “get” more?
Not a fun way to live, and certainly doesn’t help your kid become the best that she can be.
@GirlChild, the “development admit” reference can get confusing as so many CC’ers refer to them as “developmental” admits. Uh, yeah, SLIGHTLY different animals!
Development is a euphemism for fund-raising. I work in the development (aka “advancement”) field and started out as a work-study student in my university’s development office back in the late seventies. I thought I was applying for a job related to real estate. 
@LucieTheLakie: Thanks for the morning laugh. I did come to understand, after reading the link from brantly, that it was along those lines that “development” was used.
@blossom: Not a fun way to live, and certainly doesn’t help your kid … blossom.
@WannaBeInMD did the kid match?
Hello all - I wanted to come back and update this since you were very helpful and comforting at the time.
The kid did not match, and was not accepted to any of those schools during the RD round either. She also did not apply to any public schools, which I don’t really understand - maybe she really just thought she was going to an Ivy. At any rate, she was accepted to two perfectly fine but lower tier schools and my understanding is that she is very unhappy. I don’t wish her ill but maybe there is a bit of karma in all this.
My own daughter went through RD and is headed for an amazing school and our financial aid package was very good. I am getting on my feet financially - have been living with my sister and just got an apartment for my two kids and myself. My daughter is ecstatic and I am happy for her. Thanks for all of your support. CC is not always a kind place these days but most of you were supportive and I appreciate that.
Thanks for the update, and congratulations and good luck to your daughter.