Make use of her, make sure she knows your situation and will bat for you in her recommendations. Make sure she knows you are independent for FAFSA, have you looked at Questbridge? Make use of all college help at your school.
I would suggest you have a conversation with your aunt and uncle, and tell them the following. You understand that they are not responsible for paying for your college education, and you appreciate everything they have done for you in this situation.
You understand that they also still want the best for you, because they have been so helpful to you thus far. In large part due to their influence and assistance, you have worked very hard in school and it is time to begin thinking about your future after high school. Based on what they’ve taught you, you have learned that the best way to make decisions and plans is to first get good information and facts, so you understand your options.
Do you understand the reason for their reluctance to have discussions about helping you? If it is financial, then your independent status will be a relief to them. If it is cultural (i.e., they have sexist attitude) then it’s clearly a different problem.
You understand you need to take the SAT or ACT, and probably soon. Have they given you any idea as to why they don’t want to assist you in this process?
You’re clearly a very smart, hardworking, conscientious kid, with a bright future. As an American citizen, and a first generation college student, with your grades, you are in a better position than you might think.
Your journey hasn’t been easy, and this process is complicated - so in that way you are facing the same general challenges as millions of other kids.
Barnard has proven very difficult to get accepted for lots of bright kids who aren’t facing the challenges that you’ve had - so don’t get discouraged if you don’t get there. You will have good options to choose from.
Best of luck.