Question about using a phrase...

College Essays
1

<p>I'm wrapping up a supplement right now, and this is one of my introductory sentences:</p>

<p>"The enigma that is The Room has fascinated me for several years; it is at once ridiculous and mysterious, painfully awkward and unintentionally insightful."</p>

<p>It sounds a bit off to me, but I'm not sure if it needs to be reworded or how I would go about breaking it up.</p>

<p>Any suggestions?</p>

2

<p>Bump?
10char</p>

3

<p>Hi DancingK,
I think what sounds off is the last part of your sentence, the way you use a comma between “mysterious” and “painfully.” I’m not sure if you can find a similar sentence structure online or something? It just took me a while to figure out how you were splitting the sentence up.</p>