Question for parents about college visits

Parents Forum
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<p>I'm sure there have been posts like this before, but I use a text-to-speech reader and dealing with the search isn't the easiest thing in the world.</p>

<p>I'm a community college freshman (stats/background info here: <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?p=1033926%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?p=1033926&lt;/a&gt;) getting ready to transfer for fall 2007. I'm looking at it as though I'm a high school junior in the process -- visiting colleges, not officialy interviewing yet but making connections, putting together a list of definites but not ruling out any possibilities for other colleges to sneak on my list. Since I was homeschooled for high school, I'm kinda doing this all on my own, without the help of any counselors to guide me through the process (aside from the fine folks I've found on-line).</p>

<p>In any case, my father is the one doing most of my visits with me, though my mother says she'll consider taking me for the local ones. (She hates driving and has a really busy schedule, anyway.)</p>

<p>Here's my question: Do parents /really/ not mind going on these trips? I always feel bad for my dad, especially when he's the only guy in the room when I'm visiting schools like Smith and I know he'd rather be home watching the Yankees game. He never complains, but I can't help but feel bad about dragging him all over the place on weekends when I know I'm sure he'd rather go fishing or something.</p>

<p>This October, we're going to do a two day, two night swing through New York, during which we'll be visiting Binghamton, Cornell, Wells, Geneseo, and Rochester. Bates, Bowdoin, and /possibly/ (but not likely) Colby are in September. I'm planning on doing individual day trips to Vassar and Barnard, plus visiting Douglass College (Rutgers) and Drew University one day in New Jersey. I might do Wellesley, but I don't know. Locally, Mom or Dad will take me to Trinity, Wesleyan, Connecticut College, and Mount Holyoke. We've already done Wheaton (MA), which I hated, and Smith, which I'll be applying to. I've also done all the publics in Connecticut (I have literal guaranteed admission to any once I get my A.A.) Beyond all that, I'm going to need to go back for interviews next summer/fall -- I need to do in-person on campus to explain some things, not alum -- though of course I won't be going back to each campus I visit if I decide I don't want to apply. (I'm thinking 12 might be a good number?)</p>

<p>Really, you guys aren't bothered by all this? You don't get bored with it? Dads going to women's colleges -- you hanging in there? The estrogen-fest doesn't kill you?</p>

<p>I'm probably just worrying a little too much about this. I just feel so bad when my dad has to sit through 45-minute long sessions about housing and such, even though he swears he's fine with it. (Actually, his response is "I haven't complained yet, have I?," which I suppose is open to interpretation.) My parents are not as involved in the process as you all are, though they absolutely do care and discuss it with me a lot, so...I don't know. I just worry. </p>

<p>Thoughts? Reassurance? Anything a parent can do during visits away from their children that might be more enjoyable/informative?</p>

<p>Sorry for rambling! Take pity on a nice kid trying to get through this on her own. :)</p>

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<p>Don't worry about it. I liked taking my daughter on the college trips. I liked seeing the colleges, and I liked spending the time with her.</p>

3

<p>Don't worry about this. Most parents I know just love being with their kids. Some even like the college visiting process.</p>

<p>Most men I know don't have a problem with estrogen. :)</p>

4

<p>
[quote]
Most men I know don't have a problem with estrogen.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>It's just always a little odd to see a big, bearded former lineman towering over all the females in the room while listeing to someone talk about "empowerment" and "women of the world." He gets that zombie-like look in his eyes that can only mean "I'd rather be fishing."</p>

5

<p>Speaking personally, there was nothing I enjoyed more than going on college visits with my daughter. In fact, I kept urging her to visit more colleges and she felt it was often a waste of time, as she had basically made up her mind. What could possibly be more enjoyable than sharing in your child's future dreams? The time spent alone together driving is priceless. Any parent who feels this is an unwanted obligation or chore is missing out on some very special moments.</p>

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<p>beginning,
I know my husband enjoyed visiting his batch of colleges with our son. I'm also going to make a wild guess that if you translated 'I'm not complaining' out of mars and into venus you'd get something like: 'I'm very proud of you, and love you alot even if most of this doesn't make sense. The fish will be there later'.</p>

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<p>I have very much enjoyed touring colleges with my daughter. It has been fascinating to learn about what appeals/doesn't appeal to her. While we are similar, there are definite differences, too! If you have time (but given your schedule, I don't think you do), see if there is something in the area your father would enjoy seeing/doing (Baseball Hall of Fame, etc?).</p>

8

<p>I really wish we had the time to do other things, but we definitely don't. I don't get out of class until 3 p.m. on Thursdays, which is when we'll be leaving to head up to Binghamton and get an early start the next morning, and I need to be back for class on Monday at 12:30. Missing class in high school is one thing, but not in college.</p>

<p>My original plan was to go leave the Thursday afternoon before Columbus Day and take our time between Thursday and Monday (some colleges are open; Bates is actually doing an open house that day), but we have a UConn football game vs. Syracuse that Friday night that neither of us want to miss.</p>

<p>I would love to use Sunday in order to prevent us from being so rushed, but I'm not so sure admissions offices would even be open. Either way, I'd hate to pay for another night in a hotel. (I really do worry too much.)</p>

<p>That's also why I probably won't end up visiting Colby why we're doing Bates and Bowdoin. We're going to drive up on a Thursday night, do the Bates open house in the morning/early afternoon, drive to Bowdoin for a 2:30 session, then head back home. I had thought about staying an extra night and doing Bowdoin and Colby both on Saturday before heading back, using Friday night to just have some fun away from home, but I don't know if I like Colby enough to spend the money on another night in a hotel.</p>

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<p>Hopefully Curmudgeon will chime in -- he always has the best comments of the college search process that he is going through with his D. I have a son, so can't really comment on going to women's colleges, but I echo the general statements -- this is, actually, a lot of fun for us Dads. It's one of the last big deals with our kids that we get to be <em>somewhat</em> involved in before they're off on their own.</p>

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<p>My daughter and I (I'm a bearded guy :) ) had a ball doing a week of college visits during junior year. So good, we did it again senior year. Great bonding experience. That included Wellesley, Smith, and Mt Holyoke, as well as others, 10 schools in 6 days. Lots of driving, lots of Starbuck's, different hotel every night. There were a lot of Dads in all of the information sessions.</p>

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<p>I always had a wonderful time! We now have lots of funny stories to share. I guess the only time I was disappointed was when, on both visits, she didn't like my alma mater much, and, to be truthful, after visiting, I didn't either. We used to make it a practice, when possible, to go on separate tours, and then compare notes (and I wasn't a public embarrassment!) </p>

<p>We still had two more visits basically after her decision (Smith), and it was nice to have it confirmed in her (and my) mind.</p>

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<p>My dad seemed to have mixed feelings about it. I think he really enjoyed our trip to LA to see USC (if he were in college now, he says that's where he would like to go), but I think he felt our trip to Northwestern was a waste of time and money and I got this "I need to be at work now" vibe from him. My mom would have loved going, but she's a teacher and didn't want to leave her children with a substitute. I didn't visit any women's colleges with my dad in tow.</p>

13

<p>I really enjoyed visiting colleges with my son, although I think there were times when he would have preferred to be there alone. Most times I think he enjoyed my company and I never got tired of exploring campuses with him. We parents are invested in our kids and thus their college choices. Please put it out of your mind and just enjoy your time together and the fun of exploring college choices.</p>

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<p>i think i enjoyed the college visits, and spending time with my daughter more than she enjoyed the visits and spending time with me. if my wife would go along with it i'd include a few college visits in all our vacations even though we already have both of our children settled in college.</p>

15

<p>I loved doing these too. Frequently, I was the one dragging my son. Husband and I even attended one at U. Chicago w/o son, who had to be elsewhere. (he wouldn't have like U. Chicago, but I kept wishing I had another child so they could go there). I enjoyed picturing son at the various places, and I was glad I had seen the ones he was deciding btwn at the end.</p>

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<p>Whether your parents like visiting colleges with you depends on them and their interests. As for me, there are few things that I enjoy more than hanging out on a campus with S. It's so cool to be able to support S as he goes through the process of making one of the most important decisions of his young life!</p>

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<p>It is very useful to have parents on visits even if they do not take the tour or attend the info sessions. At the beginning, the student may want to brainstorm with mom and dad about what questions to raise or look into, what to see, whom to talk to and at end of the day, the student may want to share impressions with mom and dad. Talking it over with someone is a great way to clarify things in one's mind.
As for parents, think about all the bonding they can do when child is trapped in the car with them!</p>

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<p>I loved visiting colleges with my kids. With DS we went everywhere at least twice (once for a visit/tour, once for an audition). With DD we have visited another 14 schools and have just a couple more to see before she does her applications. I'm sure <em>I</em> enjoy being along more than <em>she</em> enjoys having me! I think she would prefer if I just dropped her off and picked her up...</p>

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<p>I'm actually a little bummed that my son and I may be done with his college visits and that he's going to see one without me. I would not have missed for the world his expression when he visited a certain college and saw his face light up as he talked to the tour guide. You think it's a little soon for my 12 year old to start just looking around?</p>

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<p>Being on college campuses after 30+ years was definitely fun for me. Only downside with college visits--wishing I could go back to college!</p>

<p>Other downside--falling in love with a school D didn't care about (Pomona).</p>