<p>shyanne - good point about looking on school websites for info on LGBT issues, etc. I would also guess that a red flag would be NO info on it.</p>
<p>boomting - agree about looking at GSAs etc. I don’t think he’s the kind of kid who needs to be in an area like SF to feel comfortable. But he’s coming from a fairly conservative boarding school environment and I would like him to feel that he can be comfortable being open about who he is.</p>
<p>crepes - I’m from the NY area originally and you’re right about Fordham. That said, I think that would pretty much be the exception, not the rule when it comes to Catholic schools. Do I think that there are gay students at Catholic schools? Absolutely. But I want him to be in an environment that is more overtly supportive. And I think that there would be fewer gay kids there than at a lot of other non-religious colleges</p>
<p>romani - thanks for sharing you and your friends’ experiences. My son is not tech-oriented, so not really an issue for him, but I get your point. I guess when I think about it, most schools and kids of his generation don’t consider it a big deal. Definitely better than a generation ago. But I worry a bit about the area surrounding the college, not just the school itself.</p>
<p>My gay D made a specific choice to go to school in a state where it is illegal to fire someone from a job for being gay. Here is a link that includes a map showing the 29 states where you can still be fired for being gay:</p>
<p>[States</a> Where You Can Be Fired For Being Gay - Business Insider](<a href=“http://www.businessinsider.com/states-where-you-can-be-fired-for-being-gay-2013-4]States”>States Where You Can Be Fired for Being Gay)</p>
<p>Oh good point, book. One thing that stands out to me is looking for active gay bars. Not in the sense that he’ll be going to gay bars or anything but just to get a feel. We have one called Spiral here that is ALWAYS busy. I don’t think a lot of people that go there know it’s a gay bar and it’s really reflective of the general attitude of the community. Just a thought :). You can get a feel for that by just looking at reviews.</p>
<p>eastcoastcrazy - I have heard that about Chapel Hill. Unfortunately we are OOS and it can be tough to get in there. But it would still be a possibility. Good suggestion. We visited U Maryland and he did not like it there. Partly it was the surrounding area, partly the school itself. But good suggestion. Thank you.</p>
<p>tarheel97 - glad to hear another vote for UNC. I’m assuming you’re from NC - I’ve heard that Chapel Hill is a very liberal area. Has that been your experience?</p>
<p>My3daughters - he has been drawn more to LACs and being close to a city is a plus. But I think Sarah Lawrence may be a bit too small and narrowly focused. He really doesn’t know what he wants to do or even major in yet, so I would like him to have a broader range of options.</p>
<p>beantown - thanks. I’ve heard of that and will check it out.</p>
<p>whenhen - I know that’s true, but as I mentioned in my post to romani, I worry a bit more about the areas around a campus versus the campus environment itself. I agree that Emory might be a good choice; in fact that is on his working list.
When I started this thread, I wasn’t looking for specific school recommendations, so I didn’t note those that he is considering. But so many posters have been kind and helpful enough to offer up suggestions, I should mention where he’s thinking of: American U, Skidmore, Vassar, Brown (super reach, but it’s still on there), Emory, Kenyon, Oberlin, William & Mary, a few others that I’m drawing a blank on. A few that were eliminated were Bard (too remote), GWU (didn’t like the lack of a true campus) and University of Maryland (he just didn’t like the feel of it, as well as the surrounding area.)</p>
<p>How important the active LGBTQ community will be for your son may depend in some part on how traditionally masculine or, for lack of a better word, flamboyant he is. Most campuses these days have campus LGBTQ groups and overt homophobia is considered socially unacceptable on all but the most conservative campuses.</p>
<p>That said, if he’s a bit more of a gender bender he may be more comfortable, and may have an easier time finding his people, at some place like Hampshire or Bard.</p>
<p>
Daisychain - this has been very much on my mind. I think one of the hard things for him in high school is seeing most of his friends being in relationships and feeling a bit outside of that. His school does have a small GSA that he is very involved in but it seems to be pretty much allies and not gay students. Or at least not openly gay students.</p>
<p>fwiw, he’d be just fine at William and Mary.</p>
<p>sue22 - I would not consider him at all flamboyant. I mentioned in my original post that his coming out to us was surprising; I think that is because he is very sports-oriented. He was a football player and played basketball and still plays lacrosse. I realize this is stereotyping and I don’t mean to imply that just because you are an athlete you wouldn’t be gay or conversely that not being overtly masculine would mean that you aren’t straight. So I feel that he does not need an overly artsy/granola-y environment to feel comfortable.</p>
<p>
Jessie Helms joked that there was no need to build the NC Zoo. Build a fence around Chapel Hill and consider that done. Yeah, it’s a liberal place. I guess most college towns are like that, namely, Madison, Berkeley etc.</p>
<p>teenage_cliche - those are all good questions and truthfully, I don’t know the answer to all of them. I need to spend some time with him to really talk about what is important and what isn’t (or is less so). Thanks for bringing them up…very helpful.</p>
<p>warblers - excellent points and suggestions. I have bought the Advocate guide but haven’t really had the chance to go through it all yet. As I mentioned, the dating thing is very much on my mind. He seems more drawn to LACs, but the size of the dating pool is a very valid point.</p>
<p>pugmadkate - thanks for the suggestion to question campus police about hate crimes and their training in that regard. That did not occur to me.</p>
<p>S (straight) attended an all male Jesuit HS. He has several friends who came out during those years and expressly stated they would not have felt comfortable doing so at their local public HS. Although Catholic in name, the Jesuit schools may be one of the most inclusive and accepting environments out there. You may consider at least a look at those in the more urban areas like Santa Clara, Seattle University and Fordham.</p>