<p>Before I begin, I would like to say that I am in the process of seeking professional help in the next few days, so I am not using the internet as a way to diagnose myself; however, I am interested in hearing from other people who may have had similar experiences and can provide a different angle.
I am in my mid-twenties. I started college about two years ago. I have always been a huge procrastinator and had problems with long term projects. When I was younger and in school, I got mostly As, but the truth is that I almost never studied really hard. I just skimmed the material and read things over the night before. This strategy worked the first few semesters in college when the classes where easier, but now I am being forced to face reality. I have withdrawn from several classes in the last two semesters because I have been falling behind. I always make plans, read different strategies that seem to help other people (pomodoro, breaking large tasks into smaller pieces, exercising, etc) but nothing seems to work. Even when I go to the library, I cant get started. Its like I am fighting with myself and Im losing every round. Whereas before I always thought that I just needed to try harder, find better studying methods and hone my time management skills, now I feel like theres an obstacle that I just cant overcome no matter what (at least on my own). I realize that I have always been like this and that I was just getting away with murder, but as some would say, ***** just got real. Sure I learned things like playing an instrument on my own, but this happened in sporadic fashion. As it turns out, if you want to get some things done like getting a PhD or accomplishing anything difficult, spontaneity is not always your best friend.
Theres a long history of mental problems in my family: schizophrenia, depression, etc. Given my family history, I saw a therapist a couple years back because I had this (irrational) fear that I would end up with schizophrenia overnight. The therapist evaluated me and didnt find any reason to support my fears, but of course, we never talked about my chronic procrastination problem, since I never mentioned that it was a problem. Now, I am thinking that I perhaps I have ADHD. After doing research and taking some online tests, I have consistently gotten the result that ADHD might be likely. Some of the traits that are asked about sound autobiographical. For instance, I avoid getting things started all the time, from simple things like shipping out a package that I already have in the box and just have to take to the post office a couple blocks away to writing a 3-page paper thats due three months in the future, I always tap my fingers in patters when I am sitting down, I can wake up one day and plan to the superproductive and the next thing I know its 10pm and I divided my time in 100 different things and ended up accomplishing very little, I have so many times made great plans (I am going to build a website, I am going to learn a language), but I end up moving to something else before I even start in the first place, not to mention that I changed my mind about my major about 7 times and so on. Yet (and I admit, this might be my own misconception), I dont have a problem with looking at people in the eyes, I can pay attention to things (e.g., lectures) for a long time, although I could be very chatty during class as a child, I never felt that need to dash out of the classroom. I guess thats what confuses me the most, that if you ask my those who know me (and I have), I can be energetic and talkative, but I am also analytical and self-reflective. I am in a position of leadership at work and I am usually the person people come to when theres a complex issue and they want somebody to break it down rationally and find answers.
I am trying to get a better understanding of the experience of people with ADHD. Does my behavior sound at all similar to yours or somebody you know?</p>
<p>You sound just like me! (Except I am more than twice your age.) Less was known about adult ADHD then as now, so I was not diagnosed until my 40’s.</p>
<p>That said, one diagnosis of ADHD is less important that general insight and an overall look at your mental health. Depression as well as anxiety exacerbate those day to day symptoms of ADHD. People with natural leadership potential and smarts, especially with mental health issues in their background, are particularly vulnerable to depression and anxiety. I would also say that it would be very difficult to tease apart what symptoms are caused by which underlying cause… impossible perhaps… in one appointment. I might be wary of someone even trying to do that in one appointment. </p>
<p>You sound like you are at a great time of life to be sorting out both what we frame as the biological and psychological aspects of behavior (Since the brain is in the body, not clear to me that psychology is not also biology, but you know what I mean!) This could give you a lot of strength and clarity to the direction you choose to go in for the next stage of your life and a really solid footing.</p>
<p>One more thing – I wouldn’t worry too much about ADHD “types” – that is, inattentive versus overly attentive. They are both aspects of a defect in being able to modulate, or control, attention, and most people manifest both. It is just generally that in most situations the person in power (teacher, parent, boss) cares more about the ADHD person paying more attention to what they care about (schoolwork, homework, chores, work assignments). And it is a hallmark of ADHD that we can work forever on what we are engaged in (Pokeman, CC, knitting just one more row, even a Supreme Court Brief) but cannot start, finish or focus on something for which no *****s are given.</p>
<p>If it is affecting your grades/college performance or general life, then I would say definitely go and talk to someone about it. I thought about seeing a psychologist the summer before I started college for very similar reasons as yours (you can actually look up my old posts about it from 2008!), but waited for some reason. I subsequently had the WORST possible first semester of college, to the point that I almost dropped out, because I simply had gotten by for so long compensating for my ADHD with being relatively smart. Then when I ended up at a school where everyone was as smart if not smarter than me, I lost that advantage and the fact that I couldn’t focus and take notes or study became a huge problem. After seeing someone for this and being diagnosed/starting treatment, my grades and well-being improved a lot. I only regret not seeking help sooner, as I spent the rest of my 3.5 years of college still trying to pull up my overall GPA from that awful first semester.</p>
<p>Let me know if you have any questions about the testing/diagnosis process or anything else related to that!</p>
<p>“For instance, I avoid getting things started all the time, from simple things like shipping out a package that I already have in the box and just have to take to the post office a couple blocks away to writing a 3-page paper thats due three months in the future, I always tap my fingers in patters when I am sitting down, I can wake up one day and plan to the superproductive and the next thing I know its 10pm and I divided my time in 100 different things and ended up accomplishing very little, I have so many times made great plans (I am going to build a website, I am going to learn a language), but I end up moving to something else before I even start in the first place”</p>
<p>I have ADHD and this is literally me. I have a project due tomorrow morning that I told myself I was going to start 2 and a half days ago. Guess what? Not started. I’m having what I call a “bad ADHD/anxiety day”.</p>
<p>And the same thing happened to me with the grades, oddly enough, in middle school. When I was in K-5 school was the easiest thing ever. I recall no effort. The only struggles I remember at that age had to do with my social life (I also have a tendency to be too chatty in the classroom, whether on or off topic). So since my grades were exceptional, they put me in a special middle school for “gifted” children and I nearly failed out of it immediately. I eventually had to switch schools. & not because I didn’t get the concepts; I just couldn’t organize anything, pay attention, keep a planner… things that would haunt me well into college, plus more problems every time I came across an added responsibility.</p>
<p>I was diagnosed late, midway through high school after counselors realized I had been struggling with anxiety/depression for a few years. The sooner you seek help the better. Even though I still have my issues, I’m getting better at handling life every day. The trick to improving is to just know yourself. If it turns out you do have a disorder, keep doing your research. You’ll feel much better at least knowing that you’re not alone, that certain things aren’t your fault, and that there are many tips and tricks people can use to help curb their symptoms.</p>
<p>“And it is a hallmark of ADHD that we can work forever on what we are engaged in (Pokeman, CC, knitting just one more row, even a Supreme Court Brief) but cannot start, finish or focus on something for which no *****s are given.”</p>
<p>This, also. 100% true.</p>
<p>This is the best website for ADHD. National institute for mental health, the govt agency like the NIH. See what you think.</p>
<p>[NIMH</a> · What are the symptoms of ADHD in children?](<a href=“NIMH » Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Children and Teens: What You Need to Know”>NIMH » Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Children and Teens: What You Need to Know)</p>
<p>Alternately, You could also have an executive functioning deficiency.</p>
<p>I see a lot of ADHD and ADD posts on here, but I’m not seeing any reason why people believe they have it. Yes many are told they have, but… it’s commonly considered to be the political disorder based on how politics of schools usually has you diagnosed with it the second you’re disruptive.</p>
<p>Now if you have several medical professionals who have made a legally binding sworn statement that if they lie on will cost them their jobs, and they all say via testing that you or someone else has ADHD, then sure. But otherwise, the vast majority of professionals admit that the vast majority of ADHD cases are misnomers and not real. Yes ADHD does exist, but it is not as common as the “documented cases” would have you believe. Worse, the damage from those pills on a person not actually suffering from them can cause numerous chemical imbalances.</p>
<p>I simply state that as an indication that you need to really consider if you have an issue or if you’ve been holding yourself back and the medicine itself has been preventing proper development.</p>
<p>Social development disorder, social degradation, and mental-capacity and acuity response are usually the primary issues. Stress in the family, depression, and thoughts of suicide are not only caused by those drugs, but usually the reason the symptoms appear. And those symptoms have deeper routes that medicine will simply expand or cover.</p>