Question for West Point parents and/or alumni

<p>We live on the West coast and cannot afford to go back East for R-day, A-day, and Plebe Parent Weekend. We are definitely going to go to PPW. If we can only afford one other trip which do you think is more important…R-day or A-day? As a Mom I cannot imagine not going to R-day but, as my husband points out, we will get to spend more time with our son if we go A-day weekend.</p>

<p>Actually, for A-Day weekend, you will see your son after the ceremoy on Saturday. And he will have to report on Saturday evening. You'll see him again on Sunday, but the cadets will only have walking privileges. You won't be going very far away from downtown Highland Falls. You'll probably get about 18 hours in total. </p>

<p>If I could attend only one, I think I would have gone to R-Day. You can always spend a bit more time either in NYC or just taking it easy in the Hudson Valley. You can take the West Point tour and get a good idea of where he'll be and what the place looks like. The A-Day trip is so short that his Beastmates and their families will adopt him for a day.</p>

<p>You're right to attend PPW. It's a great visit and you'll have the most time. I'm sorry nobody told us to be there on Thursday night. That way you can take advantage of all the Friday morning activities.</p>

<p>Well, that's my 2 cents and I'll bet there will be differing opinions here.</p>

<p>I attended all 3 dates for our plebe son. Without question, PPW is at the top for a variety of reasons espoused in earlier postings.</p>

<p>The choice between A-Day and R-Day is tough because they have different content and memories for me. However, I would pick A-Day. </p>

<p>The main reason for my choice is the powerful and very special memories I have of meeting our son after the morning parade in his "white over grey" uniform. The time-tested choreography that has the formations of new cadets cross the hallowed Plain and blend into their respective Regiments is still a symbolic masterpiece. The parade starts with the new cadets marching with bayoneted rifles and forming into 32 company units on the East side of the Plain. The remainder of the Corps of Cadets forms by regiment on the West side of the Plain. After a brief ceremony, the new cadets march across the Plain and join their new companies/regiments - no longer new cadets but cadets. To the sound of the Corps Band, the entire Corps of Cadets then parades past the viewing area and returns to their respective barracks. The parade takes about 45-60 minutes. Not many dry eyes in the place.</p>

<p>On A-Day, the transformation that he had experienced during CBT was visible and stark. He stood differently and carried himself with a newly-found sense of confidence. The anxiety he displayed on R-Day was gone. His face now beamed with pride as he mused the fact that he had successfully endured and completed an ordeal that only a few are invited to undertake and even fewer complete. It doesn't get much better as a parent than to see the joy on your child's face as they realize they have accomplished something really special. </p>

<p>As he told me his "stories" of CBT, I sensed that my relationship with him had evolved during the prior 6 weeks from parent/child to parent/adult. He was still my son but our relationship had been notched up a few levels closer to parity. He had emotionally "left home" and would "just visit" from now on. The change brought both joy and tears to me. </p>

<p>Both R-Day and A-Day are very special. You can't go wrong either way you decide.</p>

<p>:eek: There you go, aspen. I'm crying again just reading your post! Yup, A-Day is most definitely worth it. We just got such little time.</p>

<p>I appreciate the input on this. I realize that going to R-day is more for me than for my son since his mind will be on what is ahead. I also got on prospective-net and asked for advice. The majority of people that responded said they would pick A-day if they could only pick one.</p>

<p>Here is a question only a mother would ask...if you don't attend R-day how do you get the new cadet's mailing address, do you have to wait for the first phone call? I have been told that if you attend R-day there are information booths set up for all kinds of things, including getting the mailing address. I want to be able to send him letters as soon as possible so it is important to me to get his mailing address. </p>

<p>Currently my son is on the waiting list for 2010 but got the civil prep option, so if he does not get in this year he will be in the class of 2011. If he does go to WP next year, I am hoping to find a way to go to R-day and A-day. If I have a year to figure it out I might be able to do it all.</p>

<p>You should receive the mailing address before R-Day. It will be confirmed on R-Day (after that miserable 90-second goodbye) at a booth set up just for this purpose.</p>

<p>Good luck with the waiting list.</p>

<p>Thank you momoftwins. There is so much I don't know about this whole process that any bit of information is appreciated.</p>

<p>We are also from the west coast and attended R day and PPW. We had never been to West Point before and for us it was important to drop our daughter off and "explore". About 1pm we happened to be standing near a sally port outside of McArthur Barracks watching a group of new cadets getting "instruction" when lo and behold----there she was! We got some one in a million pics of our daughter reporting to the cadet in the red sash and then saw her march right up to about 20 feet from us and start to form a line of new cadets---she was staring right at us! I think she was as surprised as we were. We shot a lot of video and pics---memories we will cherish. For us going to R day was a no-brainer. "A" day would have been nice but just too far for us for such a short time.</p>

<p>You hug them goodbye on R Day, but there's no better hug than the one you get on A Day. Beast is fresh in their minds (and yours), the stories flow and you get to see first hand the bonds formed during the summer.</p>

<p>On the other hand....they are exhausted A Day weekend, still jumpy from Reorgy and adjusting to their new companies, and nervous about classes starting on Monday.</p>

<p>By PPW, things have settled in and...the upperclassmen are gone all weekend! :-)</p>

<p>You have all been a great help. Once again, thank you for your input on this. There is no way I will miss PPW, I am really looking forward to that. I am still hopeful I can find a way to go to both R-day and A-day, but if not, I am now leaning toward A-day. I spoke to my son and asked if he would rather have us there or go alone on R-day. His response was, "whatever you want to do Mom." I think he will be fine either way. </p>

<p>I have been in contact through prospective-net with another Mom who lives about an hour away from us. She is going to both R-day and A-day with her daughter and offered to adopt my son for either day that we cannot attend. I really appreciate the offer. It makes my stress level decrease a bit.</p>

<p><a href="http://www.west-point.org/parent/wppc-wa/%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.west-point.org/parent/wppc-wa/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>WAMom68 - Check out the link above. This is the Washington State Parents club. The parents club is an excellent source of imformation and support.</p>

<p>We live in Texas and decided early on we would attend R-Day and PPW. However, at the last minute we also attended A-Day. Each has its own special memories (including A-Day on the weekend of the blackout on the east coast in 2003). I also saw the earlier posts not only here but on the Prospective Cadet list serve. I agree and would rank them in the same order -- PPW, A-Day, and R-Day. But saying that, if there is any way possible I would recommend attending all three. Each shows support for your son/daughter in different ways, and you will treasure the memories fondly from each.</p>

<p>cobia210 - thank you for the link. I have been in contact with the wppc-wa. Last Sunday I went to a seminar they put on for parents of cadet candidates. They discussed R-day, A-day, and PPW which is what got me all worked up about not being able to attend all three. </p>

<p>I do feel better about the whole situation now. I will do what I can to attend all three, but if that is not possible the world will not end! :)</p>

<p>From a grad viewpoint--I went up to USMA on my own for R-Day and wouldn't change that because I didn't have to say goodbye there and was fresh and focused for the day ahead (but of course still forgot everything when put in front of the cadet in the red sash). My folks are in TX, and they couldn't make it for A-day and I didn't see them until PPW. If you, or a friend, or someone can make it on A-day, it'll mean a lot to the cadet. I had a good friend who graciously let me tag along with her and her family, but it still felt somewhat odd and like I was intruding on them. A-Day is when they truly become "cadets" and that's after a long Beast and a LONG reorganization week (going from 4:1 ratio to 1:4 is a little shocking...) and having family there is great if you can do it. My brother is gonna be in 2010, and if I can be there for A-Day, I will be...the only reason I won't be at this point is cause it looks like I'm headed back to Iraq sometime during those first two-weeks of Aug...but my Dad is gonna be there too. PPW is awesome and definitely go to that, but A-Day is going to give both you and your cadet great memories as they can share "war" stories from Beast in person and show you around with understanding of what everything is. Just my suggestion. :) Good luck!</p>

<p>We were fortunate to attend all 3 events. And I agree with GEB that I wouldn't trade the memories for anything. Each event was different.</p>

<p>As a side note, it seems we were able to have contact every 6-8 weeks between leaves and planned events at WP. The time between R-Day and A-Day really feels dreadfully long. I know it's a lot harder for the families from the west coast, but your cadet will make friends whose families will adopt them for a weekend. We have had extra cadets tag along at WP events as well as come to our home. It's always great to meet them. Also, your cadet's sponsor family may be able to help out if you can't make it.</p>

<p>We sponsored many cadets when my husband was on faculty and trust me, we all take great care of them! BTW my husband's sponsor took great care of him AND me (the fiancee at the time) when he was a cadet. Sponsors can be wonderful! </p>

<p>We know what your cadet is going through, many times we went through the same ordeal a number of years ago before arriving as faculty. The AD faculty sponsor is serving as a role model to the cadets but at the same time the cadets are serving as role models to the sponsors' children. Our cadets played Legos with my son and drew multiple pictures with my daughter when they were over. When my husband was a cadet and I was visiting him from my college, HIS sponsors put me up in their guest room and I personally recall playing dolls with their daughters.</p>

<p>Don't worry, we will treat them like they are our own kids!</p>

<p>Motherdear,</p>

<p>Thank you! And thank you again!</p>

<p>You;re very sweet!</p>

<p>My husband's sponsors were so nice to us when he was a cadet that i always vowed to have us be sponsors if he ever went back to WP as TAC/faculty. It really was a lot of fun! </p>

<p>Most of the cadets we sponsored were either on the athletic team for which my H was a faculty advisor or from our original home state. When H was in grad school (so he could teach at USMA), our D was in 1st and 2nd grade. A classmate of hers had an older brother who entered the academy the same year my H was assigned to teach. His parents were almost cute with funny questions... WHY can't I send brownies during Beast? We did a by-name request to sponsor this individual and he requested us as well. It only works by both parties requesting.</p>

<p>They ate us out of house and home, but again, it was a great experience. And FYI, AD at USMA aren't required to be sponsors so your cadet will get somebody who wants to sponsor, not under orders.</p>

<p>^^^After losing touch after graduation, our old cadet just found us via AKO! He and his wife just relocated to the area. He got out after 7, his classmate/wife is still in.</p>