<p>New to this board, and have a question on interviewing.</p>
<p>My D will be applying to a private day school in the fall. This school requires an interview.</p>
<p>D is shy and not very talkative. It takes her quite some time to warm up to new people until she feels comfortable enough to talk about herself and her achievements, or ask questions, or even look them in the eye. After people get to know her better, she is perceived as a pretty terrific kid, based on some comments I heard. Her strengths and interests are mainly in science and math. </p>
<p>She is aware of the kinds of questions that may be asked at the interview, mostly from friends who applied to this school. She is thinking and talking about the answers she'd like to give, but is still uncomfortable. She really wants to go to that school, which would make her even more nervous during interview..especially if the interviewer is not easy-going.</p>
<p>From the experience of people on this board, what would be a good way for her to feel more at ease during the interview, enough to not clam up or give one-word answers? Also, would it be a bad idea for me to mention her shyness to the interviewer?</p>
<p>Experience is the key. Since you're starting early, set up some mock interviews for her with adult friends, coworkers, guidance counselors, etc - basically adults that she may know (or not) but not really well, to get her over the discomfort. This exposure will help. </p>
<p>I also think it's important to have your child be familiar with the types of questions that will be asked, like you have, and it's okay to let them talk to you about acceptable answers but don't give them the answers. You want her to come across naturally, and be herself but not sound like she's scripted. </p>
<p>Tell your child that its ok to "brag" about themselves in situations like this. By this I mean to talk about their accomplishments and interests, not come across as a braggart.</p>
<p>I agree that practice interviews are a great idea. My son applied to several day schools this year, and was not admitted to any (waitlisted at 2). I think that the interviews were a weak part of his application. Like your daughter, he is shy with strangers. When talking with adults he doesn't know, he is very quiet and not forthcoming. He actually has a great personality and sense of humor, but I am sure they didn't come through. He is also a math/science kid. We also ran into the problem of his being unable to talk about his strengths. He had a hard time answering some of the questions on the applications because he didn't want to "brag." </p>
<p>There was a very useful thread here a while ago. I'll try to find it and post a link.</p>
<p>Also, make sure your daughter is prepared to ask questions about the schools as well. Again, I wouldn't feed the questions to her but have her read the materials/website of the school and draft, let's say, 5 questions to ask which she can't find in the literature or online. She will feel more comfortable going in with this kind of preparation.</p>
<p>Thank you Creative and NYMom. I think the idea of mock-interviews is excellent, especially after looking at the earlier thread, since this is going to be a completely new situation for D. And I hope that being well prepared should make her as comfortable as she can ever be in this kind of situation.</p>
<p>Alpha, is your daughter just applying to one school? Hopefully, you can look at, visit and interview at a couple more schools in your area, prior to visiting your first choice of school. This will give you all more exposure to other places and more importantly, some much needed tour and interview experience. </p>
<p>I know at some schools, the tour guides also fill out forms on each prospective student (& parent). So really, you are being screened twice. When we toured, we would make sure to give our kid and the student guide a little space, making the tour more about our daughter's interests and her reaction to each school. This is not to say that we didn't occassionally jump-start the conversations - but then we would back off, letting the kids take the lead.</p>
<p>I heard of an educational consultant advising a family to tour and interview at another independent school first to get practice; they were not planning to apply to this school. In this case, the plan backfired, because the applicant loved the school and wanted to go there. </p>
<p>At any rate, if you think the interviews might be awkward, don't go to your first choice first. </p>
<p>When doing the boarding school tours, during the first parent interview, I think I must have looked like a deer frozen in headlights when I was asked if I was prepared for my child to leave home. At least that's how I felt inside. After that interview, the question became easier and easier to answer.</p>
<p>Burb Parent, during one interview, when asked whose idea it was for our child to go to boarding school and if we were prepared, I started to cry! Well - I am tearing up right now... some questions you just can't be prepared for.</p>
<p>Usually the same interviewer asks the parent to ask some questions after the interview with the student, but for some schools i think they ask parents questions.</p>
<p>The admission staff mix it up, sometimes they interview the student alone, then just the parents, then sometimes together. Understand they do it together to see if the can detect any friction in the family.
Many of the interviewers are psychologists (personally I think the only people who need psychologists are other psychologists). It's an incredible number of students to interview, like a revolving door. I always felt the longer you're there the better, as long as they're not trying to get you out the door. Do your homework before you get there. Always check the school directory. Its an incredibly small world. Some faculty you may have gone to school or college with or with a relative. Schedule your interviews accordingly so that by the time your at the most desired school(s) you have already ran the gauntlet a few times. I could go on for awhile on "the interview" definitely a thread to be discussed at length.</p>
<p>To tell you the truth you don't need to overthink the interview too much. Before my interviews I was worried what to ask and talk about, but the interviewers really made it easy. The interviewers will pretty much engage your daughter in a conversation.</p>
<p>Because this is middle school, it could be that the interview with the parents will be more substantial than it would be for boarding HS. They will also be more understanding and probably more accomodating if your daughter is quiet. However, your child should understand that part of going to this new school would be speaking up. Do your homework for greater confidence. She should read up on the school to get more comfortable/excited about it. Before the interview, you can find out from the school what format they use for the tour and interview, then you will know what to expect. Practice asking and answering questions.</p>
<p>And yes, unless you live in a place where there is really only one private school, you should visit and apply to several. It won't be that much more work, and you may end up with a happier outcome.</p>
<p>Many of the interviewers are psychologists? Really? Reading through descriptions of the various people on admissions committees for numerous schools the one career that stood out were the people who had gone into investment banking and then bailed.</p>
<p>Some examples of psychologists, please. That would have raised a big red flag for me I think.</p>