question

<p>One of two lightbulbs in my dorm room has to be replaced.....who do I need to inform about this ?</p>

<p>you should be able to submit a maintenance request here - <a href="https://secure.ha.ucla.edu/amms/%5B/url%5D"&gt;https://secure.ha.ucla.edu/amms/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>But...How many UCLA undergrads does it take to change it?</p>

<p>:rolleyes:</p>

<p>UCLA: Two. 1 to change the bulb, and another to call their friends at USC and tell them how they changed it just as well and for much cheaper.</p>

<p>CAL: Three. 1 to change the bulb and two to debate about the metaphysical state of the bulb and how its invention has impacted human development.</p>

<p>UCSD: Five. 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to start smoking weed until the room spins.</p>

<p>UCI: Eleven. 1 to change the bulb and ten to sit around watching because honestly, what else is there to do at Irvine past 10pm??</p>

<p>UCR: Three. 1 to steal the bulb, another to drive the getaway car, and the last to call all his friends to throw the celebration party on a Tuesday night.</p>

<p>UCSB: Seven. 1 to screw the bulb and 6 to screw each other.</p>

<p>UC Davis: Zero. There is no electricity in Davis.</p>

<p>UC Merced: Two. One to hold the bulb while the other calls his friend asking for help in figuring out this "new college thing."</p>

<p>UCSC: None. Living in the forest, they see at night by torches and moonlight - damn hippies.</p>

<p>:rolleyes:</p>

<p>^^ "TRUFAX!" :D (stolen from UCLAri)</p>

<p>thanx guys</p>

<p>^^ Hilarious!</p>

<p>
[quote]
One of two lightbulbs in my dorm room has to be replaced.....who do I need to inform about this ?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>You want your bulb replaced? Here's what you should do.</p>

<p>First off, submit about 15 reports to maintenance. In a 15-minute time span. Then, go down to your nearest Access Control desk 30 minutes later (at 2 AM, of course) and start complaining loudly about how the bulb in your room is out and ZOMG! it's so annoying. Ignore the fact that the access monitor kindly points out that such issues are best dealt with at the front desk. Repeat your complaints, but this time, say it more loudly and SWEAR A LOT. That really helps. The access monitor will probably tell you once again to go to the front desk. Go there. But not before telling the access monitor that he's a lazy, good-for-nothing douchebag. In accessese, that means, "Thank you very much for your help."</p>

<p>Are you at the front desk yet? Good. Phase two begins.</p>

<p>Stand there and stare at the desker menacingly. See, unlike normal human beings, front deskers LOVE when people "mad dog" them at 2 in the morning. It's kinda like their opium. When the desker asks, "May I help you?" make sure to first tell him how stupid and worthless the access monitor is. Again, ignore the explanation that Access Control has nothing to do with maintenance. After all this is YOUR bulb and YOUR room!</p>

<p>Oh, and make sure to be as huffy as humanly possible. Pout a lot.</p>

<p>Now, the front desker is going to ask you, "May I have your name and room number please?" Make sure to get out your Bruin Card and THROW it at the desker. Not hard enough to really upset them (remember, they're not human anyway), but hard enough to get your point across: I'm important dammit! And my bulb should be fixed at 3 in the morning!</p>

<p>Keep in mind, your room number is not on your Bruin Card. But the front desker should know your face already. I mean c'mon, it's YOU! But since front deskers, like access monitors, are bred from pond scum and moldy SPAM, they're too stupid to automatically recognize you. Point out that you met the desker at some obscure meeting and introduced yourself. Be very upset at how much of an imposition it is to say three numbers and possibly a letter. After all, it's your time, and you'll waste it however you damn well please! In this case, it would be faster to just cooperate, but you're making a point! You're the most important person in all of Reiber Hall (spelling it correctly is too much work for you, since you're important!)</p>

<p>Finally, you've been down at the front desk making your glorious point known for long enough that a supervising access monitor (SAM-1, aka uber-door Nazi) should have come. Immediately stomp off from the front desk and yell at the SAM-1, telling him how damned inconvenient it is to have your bulb burned out at 3AM, and you should be studying, and you can't live like this, and you have a midterm next week, and it's been burned out already for at least 3 hours, and ZOMG! what is everyone being paid to do?!</p>

<p>When SAM-1 kindly tells you that he'll make a report to maintenance, complain more. Tell him that this needs fixed NOW! After all, you're paying so much money! It's not like there aren't thousands of other residents (well, there are, but they're not YOU!)</p>

<p>Then go to bed, knowing that at 8AM tomorrow, you can go spend another hour or two making your grievances known to a fresh set of pond scum-SPAM hybrids.</p>

<p>Or at least most residents did something like this.</p>

<p>Hahaha, that totally made my day. :)</p>

<p>Those fluorescent bulbs are supposed to last for decades... :rolleyes:</p>