<p>Do you think the reason that so many students don't like their first months/freshman year experience (aka the ones who make the "I don't have any friends and it has been 2 months" aka me :p) is because people overrate college? </p>
<p>All our life we're told that college is this great experience and that you'll make life long friends and all that crap but when we actually get to college, it's a different story for some of us. Now I know I'm going to get 3490349 posts saying "but college is what you make of it!", ugh obviously. Anything in life is what you make of it, not just college.</p>
<p>That’s basically been my experience so far. I came in thinking I was going to meet all these new people and have a thousand new friends within a day or two, and while I guess some kids do, that’s not what happened to me. I have a lot of people I’m friendly with but no real friends. I just keep reminding myself that I didn’t meet my true friends in high school until the end of freshman year/beginning of sophomore year.</p>
<p>I made “friends” my first few weeks but my school is very cliquish. The problem with that is that I lost the “friends” I made once I started branching out from the cliques I had started to join. I personally am not liking college at this point but I hope this will change shortly after I transfer. ;)</p>
<p>I think the big problem is when you go to college everyone gets a girlfriend and its not cool to hang out with guys as much, unless your a frat bro. And then your girlfriend need lots of attention and you have to hang out with her and so you dont have time to chill as much. Everyone says you arent suposed to hang out in your dorm, but i think you could make some cool friends with other people in the dorm if you wanted.</p>
<p>@kollegekid1 - do you even go to college? I thought I read in a different thread that you don’t. If you don’t, it sure shows in your posts.</p>
<p>To the OP - I think you’re pretty much right. I think movies like American Pie, Animal House, etc… glamorize college a little bit too much. The main thing I’ve come to love at college is the independence and freedom. It isn’t one gigantic party, and you aren’t going to instantly meet people who you can trust with your life story and such. Close friendships develop all the time at college, but it takes time.</p>
<p>College has been a ton of fun, and I have met people I will stay in contact with after I graduate. I believe I have met life long friends. Yes, college life is glamorized in television and movies, but so is everything else. College has been incredible for me, and I love it. For a lot of people it is fun and exciting. The independence is great, the free time is plentiful, there is plenty to do etc etc.</p>
<p>Yes, people play it up as the epitome of life experience, that it is the one thing you will remember most of your life because it’s just so darn giddy awesome, and then you get there and realize it’s not all happiness and flowers and joy (unless you’re a lucky few, like tiff above).</p>
<p>I think the majority of people find happiness and joy in the college experience. The people who don’t enjoy it typically are those who choose to focus solely on academics at the expense of their social life. I think there is a disproportionate number of unhappy students on this forum. It’s a great part of life because you have complete freedom, few responsibilities, and are surrounded by people your own age. There are downers for sure, but it’s great because you can find people passionate about things you love, and you have a chance to get highly involved in a variety of activities. The people who I know who are unhappy are those who 1) went to close schools, and therefore either commute or come home most weekends 2) picked a school without touring/staying over (a friend of mine ended up at a 99% girl school and hates it). I feel bad for those who are miserable at school, but a lot of the unhappy kids either choice to be socially isolated or are very judgemental. I think it’s fun because it’s the last chance I have to be young and stupid. Plenty of people have amazing times in college, if they didn’t, the portrayal of college in the media would be much different.</p>
<p>This is the way I look at it: some people are lucky to find best friends in their life period. Friends without the “best” is hard to come by as is, so finding a “best friend” is an amazing thing, which you should never let go. I thank God that I was lucking to find my 3 best friends and like 10+/- (more or less) friends in high school. Some find their BF in high school, some in college, and some in both. I’m just thankful to have found my BFs period.</p>
<p>True… been a stressful week so I’m typing and thinking of everything with black-tinted glasses. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy college, but I don’t love it either. Academically it’s great and I have a lot of pride in my school, socially it’s been pretty bad but that’s because of me, not the school.</p>
<p>^^^ZOMG!!! Me too. Haha. Academics is great but social life, not so much. If you don’t mind me asking, what makes college not enjoyable socially?</p>
<p>I have zero pride in my school (and from a school that is well known for its pride, which primarily stems from the success of its sports teams). </p>
<p>Primarily, I think this is because I tend to have little pride in the things that I consider myself to be barely part of. I regard myself more as a patron of my university rather than a member of its community.</p>
<p>@collegestud, it’s partly because I’m a commuter. Not living on (or near) campus means that it’s a pain to stay late for club meetings which usually happen at 7PM. I don’t like going back home for a bit and then going back either… too much travel for one day and it gets expensive! It also makes it hard to go to parties and such, since it’s not like living in a dorm where during the first few weeks everyone wants to go to a party with anyone. </p>
<p>And the other part of it is that I’m just not very good at making friends. My closest friends I have I didn’t meet till senior year of high school… so yeah. I mean, I’m great at making small talk… I do it in all of my classes… but I’m terrible at taking the next step from turning an acquaintance into a friend. And for some reason it’s always ME that has to do it… the other person rarely takes the initiative.</p>
<p>The funny thing is, about 70% of the student population doesn’t live on campus, and yet it isn’t considered a commuter school. That’s how good the on-campus life is, at least in terms of socializing. I was in a dorm last semester and quite frankly I’ve seen public housing that’s nicer, so I don’t really mind commuting since I get to live in a big room with my own shower.</p>
<p>I think my main problem is the students here. Now I know I sound like a scratched record because I keep saying this over and over but it’s the truth. I feel CC is the only place I could come to vent.</p>
<p>I just don’t think people understand me or my situation. I tried the first week of school to be friendly but people already cliqued up. After that point, if you try to make friends with a different clique you get the “Ummm we have friends already…bye!” vibe. So I just gave up at that point. A couple of weeks later I thought I found a friend but she turned out to be annoyed with me (at least that’s the vibe I got and for reasons I don’t know because we only hanged out like 3 times since being here which is about 2 months). So I really just gave up. It’s like what’s the point? you get shot down for trying to be friendly? screw it. I just come to the realization that I’m going to be friendless here. Things may change; who knows? </p>
<p>You know where I lose hope? I’m halfway through the semester and nothing has changed.</p>
<p>Honestly, being alone at first sucked but that was because I believed that I would make so many friends, but it’s not bad. I get a lot done and I keep in touch with my best friend back home every week, so it’s all good.</p>
<p>I think movies and TV push an image of college that is not what many students wind up getting because of the schools they go to or the sorts of people they are/things they focus on. Many schools, even some big schools, don’t have the kind of mentality that colleges in movies do. Even if you do go to a school that has an Animal House-vibe, if you choose to focus on academics all day or sit in your room, or you don’t have the social skills to make friends and explore, then you may be disillusioned. Personally, I think college is exactly what I thought it would be, and even better. But I know that’s because of the school I selected in combination with the actions I took once I got here.</p>
<p>I like college overall and I’ve made good friends… I wouldn’t really call anyone my “best” friend just yet. What really gets me down sometimes is I live on a tiny all-girl floor where they’re all one big happy clique and I’m kind of excluded. They’re not mean really, they just send off that “we don’t really care for you” kind of vibe. It’s kind of hard because these are the people I live with and see the most, but I’m finding the less time I spend in my room, the happier I am.</p>
<p>I forget what the question was but you probably won’t have a good experience if you’re socially awkward or not good looking if you’re looking for the animal house type of social scene.</p>
<p>It’s there definately at my school because I hardly been sober longer than 24 hours.</p>