Questioning Leaving Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo?

Colleges and Universities A-Z Cal Poly San Luis Obispo
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Hi all:

I am a current freshman at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo and could really use some advice.

I just finished my second quarter at Cal Poly and am still not adjusting well to being here.

To be fair, academically I find this school to be stellar. I have been in some amazing classes with wonderful professors who genuinely care about their students success in their classes. I have also been doing very well in all my classes, which gives me a reason to stay at Cal Poly.

However, it feels like everything unrelated to academics isn’t working for me here. For one thing, I can’t seem to connect with the kind of people I am meeting here. Not to generalize, but there is a strong surf culture here that values the outdoors, and I don’t fit in with that one bit. I appreciate the outdoors and hiking, however that is not the only thing I can picture myself doing for 4 years. The lack of culture and food diversity doesn’t help either. Having come from a big city, moving to SLO felt like moving into a bubble. Additionally, the student body lacks diversity. It feels like the majority of the students are white, middle class, and either come from Southern California or the Bay Area. That being said, I don’t feel like I am learning anything from my fellow peers, as we all have rather similar backgrounds. In fact, I find it very hard to connect with them on an intellectual level, as it seems like a lot of them only find pleasure in talking about their frat party experiences or greek life (which I am not a part of). Another thing I am struggling with is how isolating SLO can be. The access to this city is very limited, and the nearest big city is 3 hours away.

I am very conflicted because I know that this is the right school for me academically and for what I want to study. However, I feel like I am not growing as a person here. It feels like a big high school and I really wanted more for myself. The only problem is that financially Cal Poly made the most sense for my parents. Does anybody know if these feelings about SLO eventually go away or if I just need to lower my expectations?

Thanks all!

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Are you in any clubs? It seems like that would be a great way to meet others who have something in common other than greek life.

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There’s nothing that you can do regarding the lack of city life. SLO is what it is, for better, or worse…an isolated coastal community. That said, my son, now a senior, has made multiple weekend trips with his friends, both north and south. You can get to the city if you are motivated.

He isn’t super into surfing, and none of his friends are either, even though they’ve all been a few times. He is outdoorsy though, into hiking and camping.

Your comment about greek life, “a lot of them only find pleasure in talking about their frat party experiences or greek life,” is really more a testament to the breadth of your circle of friends than it is about reality. Greek life is very small at Cal Poly. The vast majority are not involved.

So, what would I suggest you do? Expand your circle of friends. There has to at least be a few people who have similar interests. Friend circles are really programs of attraction. Just get it started, and it will grow. If you can’t find anyone sympatico, you may have to resort to attending some club meetings. Something will stick.

This, unfortunately, is the way it would be at any school, city or not. It takes some work on your part to get out of the rut, when you get into it (and we all do). It’s hard, and it sort of sucks at first, but then suddenly, the ship is righted and you are good to go again.

You could transfer, but remember, as Jon Kabat-Zinn famously said, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

Good luck!

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I am involved in some professional clubs on campus but I plan to get more involved next quarter in some fun clubs :slight_smile:

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eyemgh: You have some very good points. Thank you so much for your response.

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That’s the spirit! I asked my nephew who started as a freshman last fall at a UC, what was his advice for our son who (at the time) was applying to college. He said “Don’t say no” (and he wasn’t talking about drugs or alcohol). He said be open to new experiences and people, and just enjoy everything. :slight_smile:

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I can’t remember when it happens, but there’s a club fair. I think it’s at the beginning of the year. I remember my son telling me about attending during his second year. He signed up for multiple clubs, attended a few get togethers, and narrowed down to one. He’s still good friends with people he met, even though he only stayed in that club for a year.

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Over 50% of population at CPSLO are from cities–LA/SF and they are not “surfers.” Of course, this is the “ideal” given the location of Cal Poly. I believe you need to give yourself some time, try and concentrate on your major, and find out what interests you besides school. Everything else is destined to fall into place.

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soccergirl, you sound a lot like my son did during the first quarter (he is a current Cal Poly freshman). He’s not from a big city, and he loves the fact that he can walk out his backdoor and hike, but otherwise his feelings were similar. He felt isolated and was struggling to adjust while still getting good grades and enjoying class.

The big moment for him was when he realized that Cal Poly is actually the size of a small city (20,000+) and that there MUST be people that he can relate to somewhere on campus. He made the decision to stop studying in his dorm room and to go to the common areas to read. Like @eyemgh suggested, he put himself out there and started to grow his circle of friends. He’s not the most outgoing person, and he realized that when he stands quietly he looks bored or mad. So he stopped standing quietly and he started talking to people. It took time and he’s not fully integrated yet, but he has a group of friends, a cluster of roommates for next year, and he is excited to return next Fall as a sophomore.

Good luck to you.

P.S. His girlfriend had the exact same feelings of isolation while attending SF State. She lives off campus, so she’s even more isolated. She ended up joining multiple theater productions and is now planning a semester abroad with some fellow actors. It just takes a lot of effort and time, but you can find your people.

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Lots of good info so far. My sophomore son had a lot of the same issues and concerns as you, but one thing that really helped him was to get involved with WOW, as a WOW leader. He met some great people through the WOW training program, I seem to remember it starts about this time of year. I think there’s a lot of freshmen who feel the same way as you, even though they may not show it. There’s also counseling available on campus, talking to them may help as well.

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@Eastbayd, my son is signing on to be a WOW leader next year. I was pleasantly surprised that he volunteered. I’m hoping he has a positive experience. WOW is definitely one of the unforeseen perks of attending Cal Poly. However, the application period ended at the beginning of Spring Break (3/23).

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Our daughter is a freshman at Cal Poly from southern New Mexico, from a small city. One thing she did was join the Hip Hop Choreo Club. I know the stereotype of Cal Poly is not one of diversity, but our daughter has tried new things and she has a very diverse group of friends. Anyway, multicultural weekend is coming up so get out there and meet some new people! After all, it’s spring, you’re young and attending a great university!

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Sorry you are not finding a group to connect with. This is not uncommon the first year of college, so I would give it some time. As others have mentioned looking into clubs during open house in a few weeks is a terrific idea.

And as an aside: do not confuse the “surf culture” with real surfers and surfing. I know a lot of the frat boys adopt the “surf look”, but very few of them actually surf. They are what we call poseurs. There are real surfers at Cal Poly (#2 college surf team in the nation last year) and I think you would find them interesting and thoughtful people and nothing like the stereotypes you are familiar with.

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@choroidal, agree on surfing being a tough sport. Most people don’t realize the best surfing takes place in the early AM hours. If you want to “catch waves” you are up at 5 am and home by 7, in time for your first class.

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My best friend at SLO who is also a freshman girl feels similar and would love to get to know you. Message me for more details

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@Thefilmboy I would totally be interested, thank you so much! However, I am having trouble finding a way to privately message you…there seems to be no option on your profile to let me message you

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They need a certain number of posts to unlock that function. You could use the flag option at the bottom of that post to ask if a moderator could unlock that early, if it’s possible.

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MODERATOR’S NOTE:

It is not possible. A new user needs 15 posts in order to initiate a PM; however, s/he is able to respond to PMs sent.

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@Thefilmboy from what I understand, you would have to private message me first in order for us to have a conversation. I cannot initiate it

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It won’t let me initiate either :frowning: