Questions about essay

<p>I have two questions about personal statements. First of all how structured should it be? I am a really structured writer and wrote your standard intro 2 or 3 bodies then a conclusion. But my current and last years English teachers told me to get rid of the conclusion I had because it was to prototypical and dull and just end on the note of my last body paragraph. My parents (who have no specialty in English) liked it better with the conclusion So after all my teachers advice I am currently at 3 all relatively long paragraphs, without a clear cut conclusion. Is that all right?</p>

<p>Also I tried to change a long and awkward sentence by splitting it up. But that led a sentence to begin with but. Is that all right or is that too informal?</p>

<p>bump........</p>