<p>Logging on, I noticed the excessive threads regarding chances, applications, Wharton, missing materials, etc etc. Just looking at this forum can make a sane person stress out.
Here's a welcoming change, lets pass our time by starting a continuous story that is related to Penn. Each person contributes a short phrase or sentence to add on to the growing story. I will start:</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when ...</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn.</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix.</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix. Once at the University of Phoenix, Joe discovered his love for ice fishing, and soon was off to alaska to meet Sarah palin.</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix. Once at the University of Phoenix, Joe discovered his love for ice fishing, and soon was off to alaska to meet Sarah palin. As Sarah palin, whose last name will henceforth remain uncapitalized, greeted Joe at the entrance to her Alaskan ice fishing palace, she smiled and exclaimed “well how’s aboot that?”</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix. Once at the University of Phoenix, Joe discovered his love for ice fishing, and soon was off to alaska to meet Sarah palin. As Sarah palin, whose last name will henceforth remain uncapitalized, greeted Joe at the entrance to her Alaskan ice fishing palace, she smiled and exclaimed “well how’s aboot that?” Joe and Sarah palin went ice fishing, but Sarah palin did not know what she was doing and fell through a hole. Joe called the only rescue helicopter he knew–the one at HUP.</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix. Once at the University of Phoenix, Joe discovered his love for ice fishing, and soon was off to alaska to meet Sarah palin. As Sarah palin, whose last name will henceforth remain uncapitalized, greeted Joe at the entrance to her Alaskan ice fishing palace, she smiled and exclaimed “well how’s aboot that?” Joe and Sarah palin went ice fishing, but Sarah palin did not know what she was doing and fell through a hole. Joe called the only rescue helicopter he knew–the one at HUP. HUP, like any other Penn-related agency, responded immediately and without hesitation. After making a quick pit-stop in New Jersey to drop 100,000 acceptance letters, the helicopter traveled across America until it finally crossed the border, passed through the Yukon, and landed on the ice sheet where Sarah palin lay below. The helicopter came to a stop, and the air was still. Suddenly, angels came down from the heavens and started playing their majestic trumpets. Out of the helicopter came AMY GUTMANN.</p>
<p>
dunbar I love you.</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix. Once at the University of Phoenix, Joe discovered his love for ice fishing, and soon was off to alaska to meet Sarah palin. As Sarah palin, whose last name will henceforth remain uncapitalized, greeted Joe at the entrance to her Alaskan ice fishing palace, she smiled and exclaimed “well how’s aboot that?” Joe and Sarah palin went ice fishing, but Sarah palin did not know what she was doing and fell through a hole. Joe called the only rescue helicopter he knew–the one at HUP. HUP, like any other Penn-related agency, responded immediately and without hesitation. After making a quick pit-stop in New Jersey to drop 100,000 acceptance letters, the helicopter traveled across America until it finally crossed the border, passed through the Yukon, and landed on the ice sheet where Sarah palin lay below. The helicopter came to a stop, and the air was still. Suddenly, angels came down from the heavens and started playing their majestic trumpets. Out of the helicopter came AMY GUTMANN. AMY GUTMANN, whose full name henceforth will remain entirely capitalized, tried to turn on her parachute; yet much to her dismay, the parachute failed to go off! She was falling… falling… falling… thinking, oh what if I had stayed at Princeton instead! Thoughts raced rapidly through her head, as if a million spermatozoa were racing to the ovary finish line. Finally, one shot through and she decided to grow wings! Wings, yes wings!!! AMY GUTMANN was growing wings!</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix. Once at the University of Phoenix, Joe discovered his love for ice fishing, and soon was off to alaska to meet Sarah palin. As Sarah palin, whose last name will henceforth remain uncapitalized, greeted Joe at the entrance to her Alaskan ice fishing palace, she smiled and exclaimed “well how’s aboot that?” Joe and Sarah palin went ice fishing, but Sarah palin did not know what she was doing and fell through a hole. Joe called the only rescue helicopter he knew–the one at HUP. HUP, like any other Penn-related agency, responded immediately and without hesitation. After making a quick pit-stop in New Jersey to drop 100,000 acceptance letters, the helicopter traveled across America until it finally crossed the border, passed through the Yukon, and landed on the ice sheet where Sarah palin lay below. The helicopter came to a stop, and the air was still. Suddenly, angels came down from the heavens and started playing their majestic trumpets. Out of the helicopter came AMY GUTMANN. AMY GUTMANN, whose full name henceforth will remain entirely capitalized, tried to turn on her parachute; yet much to her dismay, the parachute failed to go off! She was falling… falling… falling… thinking, oh what if I had stayed at Princeton instead! Thoughts raced rapidly through her head, as if a million spermatozoa were racing to the ovary finish line. Finally, one shot through and she decided to grow wings! Wings, yes wings!!! AMY GUTMANN was growing wings! The majestic structures spouted out of her back, glittering in a brilliant golden color. AMY GUTMANN’s wings looked like a beautiful golden parachute as she descended from heaven.</p>
<p>now only if a Penn AO stumble upon this thread…</p>
<p>Lol, you guys are awesome.</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix. Once at the University of Phoenix, Joe discovered his love for ice fishing, and soon was off to alaska to meet Sarah palin. As Sarah palin, whose last name will henceforth remain uncapitalized, greeted Joe at the entrance to her Alaskan ice fishing palace, she smiled and exclaimed “well how’s aboot that?” Joe and Sarah palin went ice fishing, but Sarah palin did not know what she was doing and fell through a hole. Joe called the only rescue helicopter he knew–the one at HUP. HUP, like any other Penn-related agency, responded immediately and without hesitation. After making a quick pit-stop in New Jersey to drop 100,000 acceptance letters, the helicopter traveled across America until it finally crossed the border, passed through the Yukon, and landed on the ice sheet where Sarah palin lay below. The helicopter came to a stop, and the air was still. Suddenly, angels came down from the heavens and started playing their majestic trumpets. Out of the helicopter came AMY GUTMANN. AMY GUTMANN, whose full name henceforth will remain entirely capitalized, tried to turn on her parachute; yet much to her dismay, the parachute failed to go off! She was falling… falling… falling… thinking, oh what if I had stayed at Princeton instead! Thoughts raced rapidly through her head, as if a million spermatozoa were racing to the ovary finish line. Finally, one shot through and she decided to grow wings! Wings, yes wings!!! AMY GUTMANN was growing wings! The majestic structures spouted out of her back, glittering in a brilliant golden color. AMY GUTMANN’s wings looked like a beautiful golden parachute as she descended from heaven. Meanwhile, Joe Smith was attending to Sarah palin, who was currently in a comatose state from being submerged underwater for so long. AMY GUTMANN quickly came, raised one hand, and expelled a strong, radiant force of energy that melted the ice that covered Sarah palin. AMY GUTMANN quickly took her up into the helicopter, and immediately flew to the one medical school/hospital complex that she knew best - Harvard Med.</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix. Once at the University of Phoenix, Joe discovered his love for ice fishing, and soon was off to alaska to meet Sarah palin. As Sarah palin, whose last name will henceforth remain uncapitalized, greeted Joe at the entrance to her Alaskan ice fishing palace, she smiled and exclaimed “well how’s aboot that?” Joe and Sarah palin went ice fishing, but Sarah palin did not know what she was doing and fell through a hole. Joe called the only rescue helicopter he knew–the one at HUP. HUP, like any other Penn-related agency, responded immediately and without hesitation. After making a quick pit-stop in New Jersey to drop 100,000 acceptance letters, the helicopter traveled across America until it finally crossed the border, passed through the Yukon, and landed on the ice sheet where Sarah palin lay below. The helicopter came to a stop, and the air was still. Suddenly, angels came down from the heavens and started playing their majestic trumpets. Out of the helicopter came AMY GUTMANN. AMY GUTMANN, whose full name henceforth will remain entirely capitalized, tried to turn on her parachute; yet much to her dismay, the parachute failed to go off! She was falling… falling… falling… thinking, oh what if I had stayed at Princeton instead! Thoughts raced rapidly through her head, as if a million spermatozoa were racing to the ovary finish line. Finally, one shot through and she decided to grow wings! Wings, yes wings!!! AMY GUTMANN was growing wings! The majestic structures spouted out of her back, glittering in a brilliant golden color. AMY GUTMANN’s wings looked like a beautiful golden parachute as she descended from heaven. Meanwhile, Joe Smith was attending to Sarah palin, who was currently in a comatose state from being submerged underwater for so long. AMY GUTMANN quickly came, raised one hand, and expelled a strong, radiant force of energy that melted the ice that covered Sarah palin. AMY GUTMANN quickly took her up into the helicopter, and immediately flew to the one medical school/hospital complex that she knew best - Harvard Med. Once they arrived there, the doctors were not able to do anything for Sarah palin because the Wharton students, visiting the hospital on a leadership venture, all crowded around and were engaging in “teamwork,” getting absolutely nothing done.</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix.</p>
<p>Once at the University of Phoenix, Joe discovered his love for ice fishing, and soon was off to alaska to meet Sarah palin. As Sarah palin, whose last name will henceforth remain uncapitalized, greeted Joe at the entrance to her Alaskan ice fishing palace, she smiled and exclaimed “well how’s aboot that?” Joe and Sarah palin went ice fishing, but Sarah palin did not know what she was doing and fell through a hole. Joe called the only rescue helicopter he knew–the one at HUP. HUP, like any other Penn-related agency, responded immediately and without hesitation. After making a quick pit-stop in New Jersey to drop 100,000 acceptance letters, the helicopter traveled across America until it finally crossed the border, passed through the Yukon, and landed on the ice sheet where Sarah palin lay below. The helicopter came to a stop, and the air was still. Suddenly, angels came down from the heavens and started playing their majestic trumpets. </p>
<p>Out of the helicopter came AMY GUTMANN. AMY GUTMANN, whose full name henceforth will remain entirely capitalized, tried to turn on her parachute; yet much to her dismay, the parachute failed to go off! She was falling… falling… falling… thinking, oh what if I had stayed at Princeton instead! Thoughts raced rapidly through her head, as if a million spermatozoa were racing to the ovary finish line. Finally, one shot through and she decided to grow wings! Wings, yes wings!!! AMY GUTMANN was growing wings! The majestic structures spouted out of her back, glittering in a brilliant golden color. AMY GUTMANN’s wings looked like a beautiful golden parachute as she descended from heaven. Meanwhile, Joe Smith was attending to Sarah palin, who was currently in a comatose state from being submerged underwater for so long. AMY GUTMANN quickly came, raised one hand, and expelled a strong, radiant force of energy that melted the ice that covered Sarah palin. AMY GUTMANN quickly took her up into the helicopter, and immediately flew to the one medical school/hospital complex that she knew best - Harvard Med. Once they arrived there, the doctors were not able to do anything for Sarah palin because the Wharton students, visiting the hospital on a leadership venture, all crowded around and were engaging in “teamwork,” getting absolutely nothing done. </p>
<p>Suddenly, an elderly Harvard alum briskly walked into the archaic Cambridge Hospital. He must have been in his late forties; his once jet black hair was encroached by strands of grey hair. His aged light blue eyes looked tired and his eyelids were wizened. The hot rays of the Pennsylvanian sun had taken their toll on him. He was neither fat nor thin, he had swum for Harvard in his youth, that spared him from the usual corpulence that men of his age endure. His once smooth hands had turned coarse, his skin was sticky and scarred, no doubt a result of his work as a gardener at Penn. His eyes flickered as he gazed down at Gutman, her body lay still, snugly covered by the off-white hospital bed sheets. He knelt down beside the head of the bed and silently whispered “I have always loved you” into her left ear, knowing she could not hear him, her fingers twitched.</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix.</p>
<p>Once at the University of Phoenix, Joe discovered his love for ice fishing, and soon was off to alaska to meet Sarah palin. As Sarah palin, whose last name will henceforth remain uncapitalized, greeted Joe at the entrance to her Alaskan ice fishing palace, she smiled and exclaimed “well how’s aboot that?” Joe and Sarah palin went ice fishing, but Sarah palin did not know what she was doing and fell through a hole. Joe called the only rescue helicopter he knew–the one at HUP. HUP, like any other Penn-related agency, responded immediately and without hesitation. After making a quick pit-stop in New Jersey to drop 100,000 acceptance letters, the helicopter traveled across America until it finally crossed the border, passed through the Yukon, and landed on the ice sheet where Sarah palin lay below. The helicopter came to a stop, and the air was still. Suddenly, angels came down from the heavens and started playing their majestic trumpets. </p>
<p>Out of the helicopter came AMY GUTMANN. AMY GUTMANN, whose full name henceforth will remain entirely capitalized, tried to turn on her parachute; yet much to her dismay, the parachute failed to go off! She was falling… falling… falling… thinking, oh what if I had stayed at Princeton instead! Thoughts raced rapidly through her head, as if a million spermatozoa were racing to the ovary finish line. Finally, one shot through and she decided to grow wings! Wings, yes wings!!! AMY GUTMANN was growing wings! The majestic structures spouted out of her back, glittering in a brilliant golden color. AMY GUTMANN’s wings looked like a beautiful golden parachute as she descended from heaven. Meanwhile, Joe Smith was attending to Sarah palin, who was currently in a comatose state from being submerged underwater for so long. AMY GUTMANN quickly came, raised one hand, and expelled a strong, radiant force of energy that melted the ice that covered Sarah palin. AMY GUTMANN quickly took her up into the helicopter, and immediately flew to the one medical school/hospital complex that she knew best - Harvard Med. Once they arrived there, the doctors were not able to do anything for Sarah palin because the Wharton students, visiting the hospital on a leadership venture, all crowded around and were engaging in “teamwork,” getting absolutely nothing done. </p>
<p>Suddenly, an elderly Harvard alum briskly walked into the archaic Cambridge Hospital. He must have been in his late forties; his once jet black hair was encroached by strands of grey hair. His aged light blue eyes looked tired and his eyelids were wizened. The hot rays of the Pennsylvanian sun had taken their toll on him. He was neither fat nor thin, he had swum for Harvard in his youth, that spared him from the usual corpulence that men of his age endure. His once smooth hands had turned coarse, his skin was sticky and scarred, no doubt a result of his work as a gardener at Penn. His eyes flickered as he gazed down at GUTMANN, her body lay still, snugly covered by the off-white hospital bed sheets. He knelt down beside the head of the bed and silently whispered “I have always loved you” into her left ear, knowing she could not hear him, her fingers twitched. </p>
<p>Sarah palin appeared in the doorway, her hospital gown fluttering in the breeze produced by the heating unit. Brushing aside her disheveled hair, she adjusted her glasses and politely asked the gentleman what AMY GUTMANN was doing on her hospital bed.</p>
<p>***Note to Carin, I take credit for adding that line :'(</p>
<p>^yeah, it wasn’t me. </p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix.</p>
<p>Once at the University of Phoenix, Joe discovered his love for ice fishing, and soon was off to alaska to meet Sarah palin. As Sarah palin, whose last name will henceforth remain uncapitalized, greeted Joe at the entrance to her Alaskan ice fishing palace, she smiled and exclaimed “well how’s aboot that?” Joe and Sarah palin went ice fishing, but Sarah palin did not know what she was doing and fell through a hole. Joe called the only rescue helicopter he knew–the one at HUP. HUP, like any other Penn-related agency, responded immediately and without hesitation. After making a quick pit-stop in New Jersey to drop 100,000 acceptance letters, the helicopter traveled across America until it finally crossed the border, passed through the Yukon, and landed on the ice sheet where Sarah palin lay below. The helicopter came to a stop, and the air was still. Suddenly, angels came down from the heavens and started playing their majestic trumpets.</p>
<p>Out of the helicopter came AMY GUTMANN. AMY GUTMANN, whose full name henceforth will remain entirely capitalized, tried to turn on her parachute; yet much to her dismay, the parachute failed to go off! She was falling… falling… falling… thinking, oh what if I had stayed at Princeton instead! Thoughts raced rapidly through her head, as if a million spermatozoa were racing to the ovary finish line. Finally, one shot through and she decided to grow wings! Wings, yes wings!!! AMY GUTMANN was growing wings! The majestic structures spouted out of her back, glittering in a brilliant golden color. AMY GUTMANN’s wings looked like a beautiful golden parachute as she descended from heaven. Meanwhile, Joe Smith was attending to Sarah palin, who was currently in a comatose state from being submerged underwater for so long. AMY GUTMANN quickly came, raised one hand, and expelled a strong, radiant force of energy that melted the ice that covered Sarah palin. AMY GUTMANN quickly took her up into the helicopter, and immediately flew to the one medical school/hospital complex that she knew best - Harvard Med. Once they arrived there, the doctors were not able to do anything for Sarah palin because the Wharton students, visiting the hospital on a leadership venture, all crowded around and were engaging in “teamwork,” getting absolutely nothing done.</p>
<p>Suddenly, an elderly Harvard alum briskly walked into the archaic Cambridge Hospital. He must have been in his late forties; his once jet black hair was encroached by strands of grey hair. His aged light blue eyes looked tired and his eyelids were wizened. The hot rays of the Pennsylvanian sun had taken their toll on him. He was neither fat nor thin, he had swum for Harvard in his youth, that spared him from the usual corpulence that men of his age endure. His once smooth hands had turned coarse, his skin was sticky and scarred, no doubt a result of his work as a gardener at Penn. His eyes flickered as he gazed down at GUTMANN, her body lay still, snugly covered by the off-white hospital bed sheets. He knelt down beside the head of the bed and silently whispered “I have always loved you” into her left ear, knowing she could not hear him, her fingers twitched.</p>
<p>Sarah palin appeared in the doorway, her hospital gown fluttering in the breeze produced by the heating unit. Brushing aside her disheveled hair, she adjusted her glasses and politely asked the gentleman what AMY GUTMANN was doing on her hospital bed. But it was not Sarah palin. The woman in the doorway was actually Tina Fey, disguised as Sarah palin as part of a plot to destroy Penn. No doubt Princeton was involved somehow.</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix.</p>
<p>Once at the University of Phoenix, Joe discovered his love for ice fishing, and soon was off to alaska to meet Sarah palin. As Sarah palin, whose last name will henceforth remain uncapitalized, greeted Joe at the entrance to her Alaskan ice fishing palace, she smiled and exclaimed “well how’s aboot that?” Joe and Sarah palin went ice fishing, but Sarah palin did not know what she was doing and fell through a hole. Joe called the only rescue helicopter he knew–the one at HUP. HUP, like any other Penn-related agency, responded immediately and without hesitation. After making a quick pit-stop in New Jersey to drop 100,000 acceptance letters, the helicopter traveled across America until it finally crossed the border, passed through the Yukon, and landed on the ice sheet where Sarah palin lay below. The helicopter came to a stop, and the air was still. Suddenly, angels came down from the heavens and started playing their majestic trumpets.</p>
<p>Out of the helicopter came AMY GUTMANN. AMY GUTMANN, whose full name henceforth will remain entirely capitalized, tried to turn on her parachute; yet much to her dismay, the parachute failed to go off! She was falling… falling… falling… thinking, oh what if I had stayed at Princeton instead! Thoughts raced rapidly through her head, as if a million spermatozoa were racing to the ovary finish line. Finally, one shot through and she decided to grow wings! Wings, yes wings!!! AMY GUTMANN was growing wings! The majestic structures spouted out of her back, glittering in a brilliant golden color. AMY GUTMANN’s wings looked like a beautiful golden parachute as she descended from heaven. Meanwhile, Joe Smith was attending to Sarah palin, who was currently in a comatose state from being submerged underwater for so long. AMY GUTMANN quickly came, raised one hand, and expelled a strong, radiant force of energy that melted the ice that covered Sarah palin. AMY GUTMANN quickly took her up into the helicopter, and immediately flew to the one medical school/hospital complex that she knew best - Harvard Med. Once they arrived there, the doctors were not able to do anything for Sarah palin because the Wharton students, visiting the hospital on a leadership venture, all crowded around and were engaging in “teamwork,” getting absolutely nothing done.</p>
<p>Suddenly, an elderly Harvard alum briskly walked into the archaic Cambridge Hospital. He must have been in his late forties; his once jet black hair was encroached by strands of grey hair. His aged light blue eyes looked tired and his eyelids were wizened. The hot rays of the Pennsylvanian sun had taken their toll on him. He was neither fat nor thin, he had swum for Harvard in his youth, that spared him from the usual corpulence that men of his age endure. His once smooth hands had turned coarse, his skin was sticky and scarred, no doubt a result of his work as a gardener at Penn. His eyes flickered as he gazed down at GUTMANN, her body lay still, snugly covered by the off-white hospital bed sheets. He knelt down beside the head of the bed and silently whispered “I have always loved you” into her left ear, knowing she could not hear him, her fingers twitched.</p>
<p>Sarah palin appeared in the doorway, her hospital gown fluttering in the breeze produced by the heating unit. Brushing aside her disheveled hair, she adjusted her glasses and politely asked the gentleman what AMY GUTMANN was doing on her hospital bed. But it was not Sarah palin. The woman in the doorway was actually Tina Fey, disguised as Sarah palin as part of a plot to destroy Penn. No doubt Princeton was involved somehow.</p>
<p>Understanding all along that this was a ploy from one of the Princeton eating clubs, AMY GUTMANN suddenly sprung from her bed and pressed a button on her belt which signaled in Eric Furda who came crashing into the room from the window and pinned down Tina Fey.</p>
<p>nvm about my bit, I like Carin’s conclusion</p>
<p>One day, Joe Smith was visiting Philly when he stumbled upon the grandiose, plush, and beautiful campus belonging to a university known as Penn. He quickly went onto Penn’s impressive, yet welcoming, domain, and quickly realized that he wanted to go to this fantastic Ivy League institution; however, Joe’s SAT scores, grades, class rank, extracurriculars, relationships with teachers, fairly wealthy yet unintelligent family, unfavorable ethnicity, apathy, and lack of common sense steered him towards a more promising option - The University of Phoenix.</p>
<p>Once at the University of Phoenix, Joe discovered his love for ice fishing, and soon was off to alaska to meet Sarah palin. As Sarah palin, whose last name will henceforth remain uncapitalized, greeted Joe at the entrance to her Alaskan ice fishing palace, she smiled and exclaimed “well how’s aboot that?” Joe and Sarah palin went ice fishing, but Sarah palin did not know what she was doing and fell through a hole. Joe called the only rescue helicopter he knew–the one at HUP. HUP, like any other Penn-related agency, responded immediately and without hesitation. After making a quick pit-stop in New Jersey to drop 100,000 acceptance letters, the helicopter traveled across America until it finally crossed the border, passed through the Yukon, and landed on the ice sheet where Sarah palin lay below. The helicopter came to a stop, and the air was still. Suddenly, angels came down from the heavens and started playing their majestic trumpets.</p>
<p>Out of the helicopter came AMY GUTMANN. AMY GUTMANN, whose full name henceforth will remain entirely capitalized, tried to turn on her parachute; yet much to her dismay, the parachute failed to go off! She was falling… falling… falling… thinking, oh what if I had stayed at Princeton instead! Thoughts raced rapidly through her head, as if a million spermatozoa were racing to the ovary finish line. Finally, one shot through and she decided to grow wings! Wings, yes wings!!! AMY GUTMANN was growing wings! The majestic structures spouted out of her back, glittering in a brilliant golden color. AMY GUTMANN’s wings looked like a beautiful golden parachute as she descended from heaven. Meanwhile, Joe Smith was attending to Sarah palin, who was currently in a comatose state from being submerged underwater for so long. AMY GUTMANN quickly came, raised one hand, and expelled a strong, radiant force of energy that melted the ice that covered Sarah palin. AMY GUTMANN quickly took her up into the helicopter, and immediately flew to the one medical school/hospital complex that she knew best - Harvard Med. Once they arrived there, the doctors were not able to do anything for Sarah palin because the Wharton students, visiting the hospital on a leadership venture, all crowded around and were engaging in “teamwork,” getting absolutely nothing done.</p>
<p>Suddenly, an elderly Harvard alum briskly walked into the archaic Cambridge Hospital. He must have been in his late forties; his once jet black hair was encroached by strands of grey hair. His aged light blue eyes looked tired and his eyelids were wizened. The hot rays of the Pennsylvanian sun had taken their toll on him. He was neither fat nor thin, he had swum for Harvard in his youth, that spared him from the usual corpulence that men of his age endure. His once smooth hands had turned coarse, his skin was sticky and scarred, no doubt a result of his work as a gardener at Penn. His eyes flickered as he gazed down at GUTMANN, her body lay still, snugly covered by the off-white hospital bed sheets. He knelt down beside the head of the bed and silently whispered “I have always loved you” into her left ear, knowing she could not hear him, her fingers twitched.</p>
<p>Sarah palin appeared in the doorway, her hospital gown fluttering in the breeze produced by the heating unit. Brushing aside her disheveled hair, she adjusted her glasses and politely asked the gentleman what AMY GUTMANN was doing on her hospital bed. But it was not Sarah palin. The woman in the doorway was actually Tina Fey, disguised as Sarah palin as part of a plot to destroy Penn. No doubt Princeton was involved somehow.</p>
<p>Understanding all along that this was a ploy from one of the Princeton eating clubs, AMY GUTMANN suddenly sprung from her bed and pressed a button on her belt, which signaled in Eric Furda. Suddenyl, Eric Furda came crashing into the room from the window and pinned down Tina Fey. Tina Fey coughed three times. On the third cough, she spit out the pin to the grenade she had swallowed earlier. Realizing the imminent danger, AMY GUTMANN let loose again her magical golden angel wings and enveloped the gentleman from Harvard in a protective shield.</p>
<p>AMY GUTMANN was a thinker; during this near-death experience in the hospital room, involving an explosion generated by a grenade set off by Tina Fey, she realized that one day, one day, her adventure would be written down in the books. However, she failed to hypothesize exactly to what extent her journey would go to. Over the next few minutes, her life would change permanently, eternally, endlessly, ceaselessly, forever, relentlessly, repeatedly, continuously, everlastingly, lastingly, perpetually, interminably, unremittingly, indefatigably, incessantly, interestingly, greedily, punitively, happily, gladly, sadly, gloomily, unfortunately, fortunately, luckily, gratuitously, quickly, promptly, satisfactorily, unsatisfactorily, Sicily, and Chuck Norrisly. </p>
<p>All of the sudden, a loud bang went off. The grenade was actually a time bomb that sent AMY GUTMANN and Eric Furda into an alternate dimension set back 1/(1+e^-.2349235823x) years in the past. They woke up and saw Frida Kahlo, with a spike jutting out of her arm, waving hello while carrying a McDonald’s Happy Meal TY Beanie Baby Toy from the 90’s. All of a sudden, Ash Ketchum ran by, apparently having caught them all, screaming, “Pika Pika Pika chu.” Then, George Washington stood on a drifting raft and opened his mouth, exposing his rotting teeth. The awful, gruesome, disgusting, and gross teeth produced an odor that permeated throughout the entire mantle of the earth, where oxygen is the most abundant element(go AP enviro). All of a sudden, the abyssal zone of the ocean sucked in AMY GUTMANN and Eric Furda, who were now holding hands out of sheer terror (or lust?). They both went down the endless tunnel… drifting away… and all of a sudden…</p>
<p>“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Joe Smith cried, waking up from an absolutely terrible, and predictable corny nightmare. Never shall I take online courses at the University of Phoenix ever in my life! Logging onto College Confidential, Joe thought, “Wow. That truly was a nightmare. Imagine if I really didn’t have perfect SAT scores, a weighted GPA of 127%, a Nobel Prize, or 21 varsity letters compiled over the course of 3 years. That would really be a nightmare. I’d having nothing to complain about all the time on these sacred forums.” All of a sudden, a woman with an Alaskan accent knocked on the door, shouting, “Yoohoo, yoo maverick. Open the door. It’s me Sarah palin.”</p>
<p>EPIC we done has the betterest story evar.</p>
<p>** You guys are the absolute best!</p>