Quick! Critique My Last Essay! Ahhhh

<p>Essay #2
Question: Tell us about a talent, experience, contribution or personal quality you will bring to the University of California.</p>

<p>Not only is photography an art form, it is also a lifestyle. Each picture I take represents a part of who I am; it brings out qualities that define my character. Perseverance, patience, and perspective are all equally important qualities of a skilled photographer needed for the development of a flawless picture. Despite the thousands of flawed pictures, I keep shooting; perseverance is what drives me to reach perfection. Long hours of patience are required to capture the right moment where the totality of the picture works together harmoniously. In order to capture that moment, I focus on my subjects in a new perspective. As a preferred subject of mine, my nature photos tend to bring out the best of my qualities. Perfecting my nature photos required trial and error; being perseverant in achieving perfection in my pictures led to the creation of worthy art. Like a hawk patiently waiting for its prey, I sit still with camera in hand for hours to capture the moment where the lighting and angle are perfect; it is essential to dedicate hours of your time in order to capture a better understanding of the whole picture. Nature can be viewed in many angles and with the right perspective you can capture more in one angle than the others. I zoom in on my subject in different angles to grasp it in its perfection; a wider perspective helps me prioritize the best alternative.</p>

<p>i think it's really clever. Maybe u can relate it to how it applies to ur life in the end....</p>

<p>overal i think it's great.</p>

<p>1 too many "perseverances".
Couple of run-on sentences.
Too many "P" words.</p>

<p>i thought the p words make it sound poetic and cool.</p>

<p>ugh, it is hard to listen to one person's suggestion when another contradicts theirs. If all else fails, I am just going to submit but old one.</p>

<p>too many semi-colons</p>

<p>nikkei325i,</p>

<p>formulaic essay with questionable diction all throughout...You should have started the essay process sooner so you could have churned out something better rather than face having to turn in something so weak as this. If you have any questions feel free to ask me.</p>

<p>ttyl bubai!</p>

<p>Sorry, this is my old version which, in fact, was just a rough draft. I've revised this same essay at least 20 times, no joke. If you want to see the most recent version PM me. I'd really appreciate your help at this point, excluding IWannaIvy.</p>

<p>I suggest you turn it in...its going to be crashing today probably...</p>

<p>Exactly. This is the reason why I have yet to sleep. I want to turn in my app before 3pm at the latest. Right now it's about 7am so I'm assuming that I still have time. Right now the uc app site is working smoothly so I'd want to submit my app right now, if possible.</p>