<p>this is a paragraph from my essay that i will be submitting soon today. I would appreaciate any prompt attempts to check it for grammar, or puntuation. Any critques are much appreaciated. thank you. </p>
<p>In addition to its renowned economics program, the University of Maryland offers an excellent Honors Program that allows its students to bond in an academic atmosphere. It grants its members special privileges such as, permitting them to take honors classes. I was admitted in the Honors Program at CCBC Essex, and I have an excellent understand of its bright students and its rigorous classes. Although the honors program at my previous intuition is not as prestigious as Marylands, I feel I can bring the same positive quality, an eagerness to learn. To be candid, I am not after the Honors Programs scholarship money or housing options. However, I am interested in its academic atmosphere and its bright student. I find nothing purer than a mutual bond that allows its students to bring what is excellent in each other.</p>
<p>I made a few changes to it...</p>
<p>In addition to its renowned economics program, the University of Maryland offers an excellent Honors Program that allows its students to bond in an academic atmosphere. It grants its member’s special privileges such as, permitting them to take honors classes. I was admitted in the Honors Program at CCBC Essex, and I have an excellent understanding of its bright students and its rigorous classes. Although the honors program at my previous institution is not as prestigious as Maryland’s, I feel I can bring the same positive quality and an eagerness to learn. To be candid, I am not after the Honors Program’s scholarship money or housing options. However, I am interested in the academic atmosphere and bright students. I find nothing purer than a mutual bond that allows its students to bring out what is excellent in each other.</p>
<p>You may want to change this sentence:</p>
<p>I was admitted in the Honors Program at CCBC Essex, and I have an excellent understanding of its bright students and its rigorous classes.</p>
<p>What's the topic of the essay? And please don't tell me anything along the lines of, "Why are you interested in pursuing education at the University of Maryland?" :D</p>
<p>Essay sounds way too generic, like you put it together in the last hour, but overall it's good. I'd probably leave out "To be candid...housing options."</p>
<p>I agree with Nico..leave that part out. I was trying not to judge the content. I was just looking at grammar.</p>
<p>How about this guys please be prompt :) ty</p>
<p>In addition to its renowned economics program, the Maryland offers an excellent Honors Program that allows its students to bond in an academic atmosphere. Furthermore, it grants its member’s special privileges such as, permitting them to take honors classes. I was admitted in the Honors Program at CCBC Essex, and I have an excellent understand of its bright students and its rigorous classes. Although, the honors program at my previous intuition may not be as prestigious as Maryland’s, I feel I can bring the same positive quality, an eagerness to learn. I am very interested in the academic atmosphere the Honor Program offers to its students and i find nothing purer than a mutual bond that allows students to bring what is good and excellent in each other.</p>
<p>haha so i guess it may be last minute after all...</p>
<p>Please refer to my paragraph above. You kept the grammar errors in this new paragraph that I had changed.</p>
<p>yes nico, the paragraph is insipid, but thats because i have to answer that question regardless of what i discuss in the essay. its only one part. i know what your talking about however. yea, my essay is nothing like that, its the opposite of that paragraph, but its where i have to answer the question they prescribed in the application.</p>
<p>i did, lol sorry its so difficult to notice where they are. im on it, but did the paragraph improve. i listened to some suggestions</p>
<p>it's good enough to not turn adcoms off completely and that's all that matters. :D That last sentence "find nothing purer...mutual bond," is riddled with so much double meaning. Have you been watching a lot of porn lately? :D</p>
<p>hahaha ill delete asap</p>
<p>How about this, i feel its more terse and down to the point. no philosophical BS. lol that pure and excellent notion is from aristotle and i heartdly believe in it. </p>
<p>In addition to its renowned economics program, the Maryland offers an excellent Honors Program that allows its students to bond in an academic atmosphere. Furthermore, it grants its member’s special privileges such as, permitting them to take honors classes. I was admitted in the Honors Program at CCBC Essex, and I have an excellent understand of its bright students and its rigorous classes. Although, the honors program at my previous intuition may not be as prestigious as Maryland’s, I feel I can bring the same positive qualities and an eagerness to learn.</p>
<p>"that pure and excellent notion is from aristotle and i heartdly believe in it"</p>
<p>If that's the case, then leave it in by all means. The rest is good. :)</p>
<p>no i am retard, honestly. i endeavor to make my writing as compendious as possible, because i am suddenly reminded people dont appreaciate words that will cause the paper to be abstruse and difficult to understand.
here is the paragraph, once agian. is it ok this time, looks like it.</p>
<p>In addition to its renowned economics program, the Maryland offers an excellent Honors Program that allows its students to bond in an academic atmosphere. Furthermore, it grants its member’s special privileges such as, permitting them to take honors classes. I was admitted in the Honors Program at CCBC Essex, and I have an excellent understand of its bright students and its rigorous classes. Although, the honors program at my previous intuition may not be as prestigious as Maryland’s, I feel I can bring the same voracity to learning.</p>