<p>How could he possibly do it all? Crew in the am and debate in the pm? I mean nothing personal since I don’t know your child, but when I see a list of activities that require everyday time commitments, I wonder where the time comes from. I remember from college that the crew was an early morning thing, so if it is, that would leave some afternoon time for another activity and then evenings for music and study??? </p>
<p>I have always budgeted time, and am a great advocate of it, but be careful that the time does not end up more than available. Sleep and some social activity are also necessary. My own busy student mostly socializes within sports or ecs, but some time for unstructured activity is needed too.</p>
<p>I always tell my D. to have fun. Sometime she listens. I always remind her that she is not a superwoman. Sometime she agrees. Finally, she realized that college senior year is time to be a bit more relaxed. She told me that herself!!. What a change. Do not overload, not worth it, can backfire, few times it almost did to my D. I had to convince her to back out of something and not listen to others. Good that she listened.</p>
<p>You know, I don’t know about the rest of you, but in addition to my full-time job (the equivalent of schoolwork for a hs student), I don’t run around and join a bazillion different extracurricular activities. Both adults and kids need down-time just to think and be. The only reason to do an EC, IMO, is because you enjoy it.</p>
<p>Interesting. My S was somewhat like yours in HS, although with a few less activities and probably less driven. He’ll be starting in the fall at Northwestern University with their very rigorous integrated science program.</p>
<p>He attended a regular public HS but started out strong with APs with three his sophomore year. The AP advisor wasn’t so sure at first this was a great idea, but then what could she do? Two of the classes were the next logical step (AP Calc BC and Ap Spanish Language) and the third was her own class, AP Euro. He survived and thrived.</p>
<p>His major ECs were varisty crew, varsity swimming, mock trial and peer tutoring in math. Junior and senior year he took on line classes in Linear Algebra and MV Calc. Plus plenty of other AP classes. He also had private piano lessons with private rectials now and again.</p>
<p>In the end, he made good choices. He could have been seen as an egg head, but with his personality and involvement with the sports and tutoring, he was able to engage nicely across the spectrum of students. And yes, the mock trial team wanted him to drop the water polol so he could play a more involved attorney role (as he did in middle school) which he was flattered about but politely declined.</p>
<p>Overloading can be an issue when the inevitable oops happens, or when illness or an accident strikes. Neither a student nor an adult should be so over extended that making a come back to that level of activity after an illness is overwhelmingly draining.</p>
<p>I don’t think his academic load is a problem - many smart kids find it much more difficult to sit through boring classes day after day than to take 4-5 APs. But ECs can be a huge time commitment if they are taken seriously (and a huge waste of time if not). “Do what you love” is a good advice. Your son can come back to debate as a junior if he misses it this year.</p>
<p>Oh, I did not want this to turn into discussion on “how in the world is he able to do it”.
Somehow he is, he is very driven, likes many, many things, maybe having difficulties making decisions. He can do it and actually thrives when he is busy, my younger kid would not.
Like kathiep said, to each his own.</p>
<p>Crew does really interfere with debate. Plus as someone mentioned, debate can consume your entire free time if you let it. When DS does something, he wants to give 100%.
His big passion is moviemaking and this is something that I think he will continue all through HS.</p>
<p>Kelowna, I think you have answered your question(s) yourself in posts #15 and #26. He will follow his passion(s), and crew will provide a healthy stress release from his more cerebral activities. It doesn’t sound like debate is a priority for him.</p>
<p>I also think crew is a nice balance to all the brainy stuff he does and will give him a good release for stress and hopefully a nice dose of exercise-endorphins.
Quitting debate as a soph is not the end of the world. If he misses it, he can go back to it next year.
Sounds like he already has a full plate and debate might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back (mixing metaphors, sorry), particularly if it will be fairly time consuming (compared to, say, robotics). Last thing he wants is to overload on activities to such an extent that he won’t be successful or happy doing the things he’s already doing.</p>
<p>OR he may realize that he can handle even more. In any case, college should not be a concern. If he does well in the next 2 years, college will be fine.</p>
<p>Let him drop it and drop it now. If he stays through this year, or even the next, he will have to stay in it senior year and by then he will HATE it but he’ll need to stay in for app purposes [this is what happened with some of my son’s friends]. By ‘only a sophomore’ I think folks mean that it is not too late to “show a passion” in one or more other activities. But if he devote himself to debate for two years, and something else for the other two, neither will read as a passion.</p>
<p>He needs to decide, if he wants to drop, so be it. I am always very happy when my D. drops something out of her schedule, I encourage it. However, I myself want to be very busy after work, I work just 40 hours/week, much less than average High Schooler and I need to sleep about 5 hours, not 10 like most of them. So, I load my day. It is the matter of choice, but sometime kids are not mature enough to understand that there are physical limitations to their bodies and they are not superheroes.</p>
<p>Things all work out for a reason. My D played tennis for 3 years and did not make the tennis team this year. She was disappointed, but now that school has started – she has 5 AP classes and is, of course, doing all the college app stuff and she’s come to believe that not making the team happened for a reason, as she’s stressed enough as is without a time-consuming EC.</p>
<p>I think it’s fair for a parent to say “you have to do something extracurricularly, you can’t just go to class and that’s that, you have to have some other interest” but whether that activity is school-based, not-school based, athletic, academic, artistic / creative, volunteer work or a paid job needs to be up to the kid for the most part.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your opinions. DS has decided that he will continue with after school debate till he knows for sure that competitive crew is something he really wants to do for the next 3 years. I will update in the end of October.
Again, thanks for sharing your thoughts You are awesome!!!</p>
<p>This doesn’t sound like a problem to me. In fact, it sounds a bit like bragging - "I’m concerned because my child wants to drop X, but he’s involved in A, B , C, D, E, etc., etc. " How nice for you. You have a driven child - aren’t you lucky? My sophomore DS doesn’t want to do anything after school except the school musical, which takes up all of about 3 months. She doesn’t do athletics, she doesn’t like service clubs, math or science clubs, she hates the kids in student government, robotics is too time consuming and conflicts with the musical during build season, she and is just not interested in newspaper, etc. What do I do? I’ve tried to spell out the college picture for her if she doesn’t add something to her EC time, but to no avail.</p>
<p>Hallomar - sorry you see my post as bragging, I am used to it by now I guess as I really do have a very smart, very driven child. What I can assure you of is that every kid, no matter how driven or how not interested in anything, has his/her problems. What looks easy on the surface, is not so in real life.</p>
<p>Kelowna, I agree with your post 36, as I don’t see it as bragging either but simply all kids are different and the issues are different and present their own set of dilemmas. </p>
<p>Hallomar, if your child (not sure if the child is a he or she as you referred to the child as “DS” for Dear Son but then referred to him or her as “She,”…is into the school musical, for one thing, that is a huge committed activity right there, though for just three months. </p>
<p>But if he/she really enjoys it, there are a number of related activities…voice lessons, chorus or other vocal groups, dance classes, acting classes/programs, community theater, the school drama, piano, and so on that may interest him/her. A student doesn’t need a variety or quantity of interests but the depth of the involvement also matters and so there are related activities for someone who has an interest in school musicals. As my own child’s lifelong passion has been musical theater, I have some clue. Her EC activities were all afternoon, every evening and weekend round the clock seven days per week and all related to this field in some way.</p>
<p>Some kids want to be involved in everything they can squeeze in, and have the constitution to handle the physical and emotional commitment. Some want to be that involved, but it is not a good thing for them.</p>
<p>Others are more mellow and enjoy the journey at a less frenetic pace. As long as a mellow kid has some sort of EC and is not just a couch potato, they should all go on to find a place in university. </p>
<p>Hallo- is your DD interested in anything, even non-brag worthy things? I have a DD who likes to read and write poetry and paint and do pottery, etc. She is so much more mellow than her more driven sisters and she is a wonderful pleasure to be around and she had an excellent experience in a small LAC. She is not competitive by nature and reading & painting don’t usually earn blue ribbons or tangible awards that look snazzy on an application, but she chose a smaller private with a merit award. </p>
<p>Does your DD have an interest in any areas outside of school? Perhaps work? Volunteer stuff? Musical theatre or music in the community?</p>
<p>I think it is a mistake to try to do the ‘right’ things, as long as the basic foundation or preparation is laid. Instead help your DD find HER passion, if she can do that, she will be interesting to adcoms</p>
<p>“I think it is a mistake to try to do the ‘right’ things, as long as the basic foundation or preparation is laid. Instead help your DD find HER passion, if she can do that, she will be interesting to adcoms”</p>
<p>Definitely. And plus…to specifically do things during your high school years, just to look good to adcoms? He should do whatever interests him. Do what he has time for, drop the things that don’t drive his interests as much. Honestly, I can’t imagine a kid asking what they should do. They know what they’re interested in, and if they’re taking on too much, they need to make some choices. And competitive crew will suck up almost all of his free time, that’s for certain.</p>
You are awesome!!!</p>