@younghoss,so you’re saying that making racist comments are ok as long as the speaker doesn’t do it more than once to the same person and/or that there is no actual harmful threat behind it? OP’s D should just shrug off the comment because she’s here legally so she’s “safe”? There’s a long list of socially unacceptable racial slurs out there, but one can use them without being considered a bully as long as they don’t repeat themselves? Hogwash!
Whether or not OP’s D has any chance at all of being deported ever, the comment was directed at her because of her race and the perception that she is “other” and not equal. It was very clearly across the line of social acceptability, intended to hurt her. But you contend that it was not actionable because he only said it once and she is not in danger of being deported. I don’t think I could disagree more.