<p>This past year I lived with 2 roommates, and the 3 of us are friends, but one of them (roommate A) and I became really close. On the other hand, I do like roommate B but honestly she's more just a very friendly acquaintance than a good friend because honestly she annoys the crap out of me and explaining why would take up another post. Problem is, roommate B doesn't get this, and tries acting like we're best friends even though we're not. She expects to know everything in my and other roommate's lives, and if something about one of us pops up that she didn't hear about for awhile, she gets upset. For awhile, this drove me crazy enough where I started being a complete b**** to her, but part of that was because I was sleep-deprived, and the most stressed I've been in my life (I've definitely stopped that).
I like both roommates enough that we're living together again this fall and spring in an apartment together, and here we'll have our own rooms and bathrooms, so we'll have a lot more privacy, but is there any nice way to make it obvious that I am not best friends with this girl (roomie B)? I don't want to be a complete b**** to her but I'm tired of dealing with her acting like we're really close when we're not. I haven't done anything to make her think this way, I've just been a good roommate and friendly, but not overly so. It's frustrating.</p>
<p>Why do you need to do anything? I mean, it’s not really that big of a deal. Someone trying to be your friend is not cause for great distress.</p>
<p>I hope no one comes in here making the OP feel guilty. Anyway, you’re not going to like everyone you meet. And it’s sad that people can’t take hints now a days. If you were acting like that towards me I would get the impression that you don’t want much to do with me. It’s quite sad that she can’t see that. </p>
<p>It’s like you can’t win. You try to BFF her, you’re not being true to yourself because you truly don’t like her. If you don’t BFF her, everyone thinks you’re a “B1tch” and a “meanie-face.” You truly can’t win, so I say do what you feel is right. If you don’t like her, don’t. She needs to realize that not everyone she meets in the world is going to like her, click with her, or want to be her friend/best friend. I would say just don’t be an A-hole about it though. </p>
<p>It’s tough world.</p>
<p>yeah i got someone who wants to be my best friend latched on to me this past year and it really annoyed me. there’s no way of making her directly know without hurting her feelings or anything. you’ll just have to wait for her to find different friends.</p>
<p>do you pronounce it espresso or expresso?</p>
<p>esscee: My problem with the whole thing is that she tries acting like we’re really really close friends when we’re not. To the point where if I pretty much don’t tell her every single thing going on in my life she gets upset. And when you do tell her some sort of
minor problem she starts rambling for at least half an hour about how to “fix” it and whatnot</p>
<p>Stratus: Exactly. And it’s not that I dislike her, I just don’t want the BFF relationship she tries to push on me.</p>
<p>rymd: Another problem is that we all have different groups of friends, but she assumes that just because we’re roommates that get along, we instantly have to be really close. I do count her as a friend, just closer to a friendly acquaintance and she does. Not. Get. It. -_-</p>
<p>And I pronounce it “espresso” lol
EXpresso drives me insane o_o</p>
<p>Wow… That’s not very nice, espresso. If I was that girl and you acted that way with me, I would change moods from wanting to be your best friend to wanting to give you a good ole, Mike Tyson beatdown.</p>
<p>You have to learn to pick your spots DB. If you oversaturate with your ■■■■■■■■ you’ll stop being funny.</p>
<p>Leave a dvd of The Roommate on her desk. She’ll get the hint.</p>
<p>This sounds like a frustrating situation. Just out of curiosity - when did you and roommate A become really close? If the three of you were good friends in the fall, and then you and roommate A became really close afterwards, she’s going to feel shut out and wonder why the two of you don’t seem to want to be as close with her. Which hurts. There isn’t any nice way to tell someone that the reason you don’t want to be their friend because they annoy you.</p>
<p>On the one hand, she’s clearly overreacting. On the other hand, it’s hard living in a room with three people where you are ALWAYS the odd man out. I am speaking from experience - my roommates are so close that they finish each other’s sentences (although it’s a little different since neither of them have any other friends outside of the room…it’s a weird dynamic, so I generally ignore it). </p>
<p>I’m not trying to say that you’re overreacting, or anything of the sort. That sounds extremely frustrating and it sounds like she hasn’t taken the most mature route of dealing with the issue. It’s a tough balance to find. Generally, I’d say that if you have different groups of friends, just try to minimize the amount of time you spend in your room. Busy yourself; that way, if she gets upset because she doesn’t know something about your life, you can just say that you are really busy and it slipped your mind.</p>
<p>Just be friendly but not overly so. Don’t invite her out anywhere or anything. It won’t be rude if you’re polite when you see her. She’ll get the hint soon enough.</p>
<p>reesez: We didn’t become super close until after spring semester started, and a huge part of that is because we’re both pre-med and have some of the same classes, and definitely the same workload and stress. Problem roommate is a poli-sci major and so has a lot less work than us to do, always goes out, etc. We don’t have a ton of inside jokes or anything, we don’t act in a way to exclude her. My other roommate is good friends with her, too so I don’t really think she feels excluded (but I guess I could be wrong).
And the weird thing is, she is out of the room more than either of us, and then she complains that we never do anything with her, because when we decide to do something together as roommates, <em>then</em> she has some excuse not to. Yet when she asks us to do something and we can’t, she gets upset.</p>
<p>If it’s really bothering you, just let her know straight up that you are not interested in the friendship. Say something like, “I appreciate your concern, but I really don’t want to talk about this with you right now.” when she gets too into your business. Even if you don’t really appreciate her concern, which it seems like you don’t. Just be as polite as possible because you have to live with the girl.</p>
<p>Just tell her that you don’t want to talk about your day…do it enough and she should get the hint…just be polite about it.</p>
<p>Get rid of the annoying roomate, if you are like me just tell her that you want to part ways and she needs to move out. If you are a person that has a problem being assertive you could always tell her that you and the roomate you like are moving out and just not invite her. </p>
<p>She will get the hint.</p>
<p>^That’s extraordinarily rude.</p>
<p>How about you find a single and live alone.
I did this after realizing my future roommates thought I was too cool.
For some reason international students think I’m some type of awesome guy that can show them how to be cool in America . Not fun ,
while in another culture saying " thisislife , I really like you and want you to move in " doesn’t sound so strange , it definitely was weird to me . So spend a bit more, get your own place and just don’t deal with others .
That’ll be the best thing for you, imma guess your annoying roomate might just think your friends , no harm in that .</p>
<p>For the record , come up with a good excuse for getting your own place a ’ I’m going though some personal issues and I need some time to sort things out’ works well. No need to be mean to anyone</p>
<p>Well it sounds like you’re stuck with her for this year. So moving out or having her move out isn’t really an option. If it really annoys you I would just straight up kind of tell her - I know it sucks but that’s the only way you can be sure she’ll get the point. If it’s not that bad, you can just struggle through, ignore her a little more and maybe she’ll get the hint. Encourage her to join clubs or other things that might give her some different friends.</p>