Hey all! I’m super frustrated with my college essay and keep rewriting it and I would love to get some feedback that isn’t from my parents or friends. Thanks!
Not a good idea to put your essay out there on the internet … and I definitely don’t recommend this topic that paints you in a less than flattering light.
Agree not to put this out there but agree with the above. I read it quickly and the word probation is just sticking in my head. My daughter started college with a bfa in theater design so I know about theater and she went to a high school for it. I don’t really care for your subject matter at all. Just being honest. I would have a teacher help you with this also. It is repetitive and doesn’t flow well from my perspective. Do you have another subject to write about?
Also don’t put this out there on the internet. Someone can steal it and you can be blamed for plagiarizing your own work.
My teacher read it over and loves it. I absolutely hate what I wrote and know that it isn’t me. I have no idea what else I could do.
What is “you”? Your teacher might not be thinking in terms of what makes an admissions officer want you on campus. There are some pinned threads at the top of the essay forum with tips on how to think about the essay. Read them over, brainstorm a few new ideas, then run them by us. 
Frustration because of the marks is a really BAD thing. All marks are just teachers subjective opinions, they don’t deserve to be taken to heart. Just take a nap or relax in another way you need to calm down. Maybe this site https://essaypro.com will help you a little. But of cause that’s not the best decision. And read the “If You Want to Be Rich & Happy Don’t Go to School” by Robert Kiyosaki - really worth it!!