Rate my DBQ Fast !!

This is my first year in Ap us history(have to take it 2 years where I lived) and I was wondering if u guys could rate my essay. Point out what i’m missing, where i’ve could have done better, and basically just how to improve it. </p>

Promt: Analyze how new forces of race,religion, ethnicitiy have affected colonial society.</p>

<pre><code> Changing Demographic, 1660-1775
Over the course of the 1600’s century, a large amount of Englishmen set out to conquer and settle in the New World. The first settlers were commonly white Protestants searching for economic and religious freedom from Britain. As time progress, the demand of market and new forces of labor created an opportunity for other races and ethnicities to colonize and contribute to the growth of America. However, the New World was also home for religious dissenters from different countries. Whether it’s escaping religious prosecution or searching for fortune, the relationship that was formed among colonists, other races, and ethnicities has brought big changes to the society of colonial America. New forces of religion, race, and ethnicity shows how colonial society was show diverse and different from any other country in the world.
After Queen Elizabeth the I won the long struggle for religious dominance against the Roman Catholics, Protestantism was the main religion in England. In order to escape prosecuting in the now Protestant-dominant England, Roman Catholics set their sight on the New World. Lord Baltimore, a prominent English Catholic, was set out to create refuge for his fellow Catholics. Thus, he founded Maryland, a proprietary colony that aim to be a safe haven for all Catholics. However, the heavy tide of Protestant immigrants was still a threat to the minor Catholics. In 1649, the local representative assembly passes the Act of Toleration, which granted religious freedom to all Christians. Under the law, everyone in the province who is Christian has the right to worship without prosecution (Doc A). The co-existent Protestant and Catholic show how religions have contributed to the society of colonial era.
Most of the colonial states in Northern America were founded for wealth and economic purposes. The main occupation for these states was agricultural. In Virginia, the main agricultural product was tobacco. Massive tobacco plantations require a handy amount of workers in order to achieve the maximum output. Most of these workers were indentured servants, free Englishmen who came to America and work for an agreed period. As more states developed their own agricultural product, the demand for indentured servants rose tremendously. Ship captains were willing to transfer servants across the Atlantic based on credit, reckoning that they can make a good profit on the agreement between the locals and the new arrivals about the terms of indentured servitude. Locals would travel miles to Philadelphia in order to obtain indentured servants, which indicated the high demand (Doc. C). English- men were not the only one looking to be indentured servants. Germans along with Dutchmen also arrived in America looking for a servitude contract (Doc. C). While indentured servants had some right in society at the time, a certain group of people were not so lucky. Slaves, from African countries, were brought to America to work at sugar plantations. Unlike tobacco, sugar requirement long and extensive works in order for it to be process, making it the perfect job for black slaves. Thousands of slaves were forced to work in the West Indies and about thousands more arrived every year. By 1700, black slaves made up for most of the region’s population (Doc. D). The arrival of all these different races signifies the diversity of American colonies.
Before Englishmen arrived at the coast of America, the Native Indians were already in control of most of the lands in the New World. The ambitious Englishmen saw Indians as pests who stand in their way of colonization. Violence between the Englishmen and Indians quickly broke out after the English arrive at Chesapeake Bay. A conciliatory attempt was made between English and Indians with no affect. Lord De La Warr launched a vicious campaign against the Indians with the intention of wiping them off the map. European colonization disrupted Native America life and transforms its culture. As time progress, Native Americans were getting better at adapting to colonial ways of life. However, struggles between Native Americans and colonists continue to exist. Perhaps one of the most violent encounters between Native Americans and colonists was the Bacon’s Rebellion. Nathaniel Bacon led a group of yeomen to raid several Indian villages in response to Governor Berkeley containment policy. Bacon had been convinced that Governor Berkeley favors Indians above white colonists (Doc. B). The rebellion was ended when Governor Berkeley hanged many of Bacon’s associates. Indentured servants, blacks, and whites all took part in Bacon’s Rebellion. This prove that colonists of all different races and ethnicities are able to unite when predicaments occurs. Regard the negative relation with the Indians, there are also positive effects from having so many ethnicities in colonial America. Beside their small-pox resistant immune system, black slaves have also brought their cultural and heritage with them. On the islands off South Carolina, black slaves developed a unique language called “Gullah.” It blended traditional English with many forms of African languages. African Americans also brought with them their instruments such as bongo and drum, which is a huge contribution to American culture.
English immigrants established the colonies for several different reasons. Whether it’s for religious freedom or wealth and fortune, they have created a world where diversity plays a big role in the development of society. Religious toleration shows how diverse religions are in the colony of Maryland. A merge of different cultures indicate why colonial America deserve to be its own country. These changes from the beginning of American colonization exhibits a diverse cultural different from any other country at that period of time.
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Its a well thought out essay but it needs more structure. Its pretty hard to read and follow. You pretty much bounce all over the place. When you find one idea you basically give us a history class on the general topic (this will work for teacher graded essays but won’t fly on the ap exam). Meanwhile there is little analysis in regards to the question. Remember the question is: HOW the forces of race, religion and ethnicity AFFECTED COLONIAL SOCIETY. This concept is important because the APUSH exam is subdivided into 4 sections: economic history, political history, social change history and foreign relations. On the exam you’ll need a very straight to the point style and answer the question precisely, you’ll only have 45 minutes for the DBQ and 35 minutes for the FRQ which is why you need to adopt a straight to the point style of essay writing. </p>

Also the essay prompt is pretty bad, rather vague since race and ethnicity are essentially the same thing. An african american is most likely black while a white is most likely european origin.</p>

pretty decent dbq here:</p>

[DBQ/FRQ</a> Essay Writing Guide](<a href=“http://www.apexamreview.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=431&Itemid=34]DBQ/FRQ”>http://www.apexamreview.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=431&Itemid=34)</p>