<p>I read the prompt and totally blanked out....be as harsh as you like </p>
<p>Each new success leads to new and more difficult problems. Success in the making creates pride, arrogance and blindness. The more individuals are inclined towards gaining success, the more they are inclined to raise themselves on a pedestal. Their ideas and methods for success are eminent.
Beowulf, a strong Geatish warrior travels to Horathgars mead hall in an attempt to try to kill Grendel, a horrible monster descended from Cain. Beowulf refuses to wear any armor and attacks Grendel. Luckily Beowulf is able to win the battle. He uses the same methods from his previous fight for his fight with Grendels mother. After a long struggle with only a sword at hand he reigns victorious once again.
As a result, Beowulf gains a sense of overbearing pride and arrogance after the second victory. The reader can sense the foreshadowing of Beowulfs future failure. His new successes lead him to believe that he is invincible and undefeatable. He does not realize that his over-confidence will lead to his downfall. When the village is attacked by a dragon years later, Beowulf seems unwavering. Without weighing out all the possibilities, he gathers a small army of twelve and marches towards the dragons lair. Without any armor once again, he is oblivious to the fact that he may not win this time. Still he continues and eventually dies of the dragons deadly poison.
Undoubtedly, Beowulfs previous successes only led him to more problems and an overbearing pride. I too am guilty of such an occurrence in my life. In the beginning of my Junior year, I could have sworn that Anatomy was the easiest class I would ever take. I hardly studied for any of the tests and received an A+ on all of them. I got a big head and continued this bad habit. Soon the day arrived when my previous successes did not foreshadow yet another success. I got a C on the test. Continuous success is not always a good thing and will always lead to more difficult problems if you arent careful. I have learned to try my best at everything I do because success is not predetermined. Sometimes success can lead to your downfall.
In final analysis, success has the propensity to create more problems than create good. Success causes a variety of bad characteristics such as overconfidence, pride and arrogance. It is always important to have a humble state of mind.</p>
<p>This essay is actually pretty good…You have good examples that thoroughly argue for your thesis and it overall flows quite well… I personally would give this a 5 or 6, but an SAT grader would most likely score it lower because it is relatively short. However, I can almost guarantee at least a 5. Try to incorporate more eclectic vocabulary and briefly introduce both of your examples in the introduction if possible. Three examples would have served you better but sometimes time conspires against you and you are better off with two well explained examples. Also, the transition that introduces the conclusion seems awkward…try to use “therefore” or “in conclusion” instead of “in final analysis.” Also omit the second “create” in that same sentence because of faulty parallelism…A grammatically immaculate essay can often impress graders…</p>
<p>It is pretty good. Some better transitions could help and a brief introduction of your examples in the introduction would certainly help. Three well-explained examples would also boost your score for this essay. This would probably be a 5 essay.</p>
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<li>It’s too short. Studies have shown that you actually get better scores if you write longer, even if the information is irrelevant. Many of my friends have put down information that isn’t even true. It’s not like the judges would go on the internet every single essay and search it up.</li>
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<p>Don’t use “you”. Say “one” instead. </p>
<p>"Continuous success is not always a good thing and will always lead to more difficult problems if ONE isn’t careful. "</p>
<p>Also, don’t use informal language, such as “i could have sworn”.</p>
<p>This is not a 3, this is definitely a 5 or 6. Examples and tying those examples until your thesis is the most important thing. And you did excellent in that regard. Fixing up the minor errors and making it a little longer will get you that 6. And there is no way thats a 3. For the Dec SAT my essay was horrible but i got a 4. As I have stated before, read the blue book and there example of a essay that was scored a 3. It’s absolutely horrible. If you write a decent essay you are guaranteed a 4.</p>