rate my essay

<p>pls ppl i wan't u to give me some marks for my essay n some suggestions too</p>

<p>ques:-Is conscience a powerful motivator than money,power and fame?</p>

<p>yes,I vehemently support the argument that conscience is a more powerful motivator than money,power and fame.And the reason for my perception is the fact that even today you can find so many people within us,who are working selflessly and dedicatedly for so many non-profit organisations like church,charity fairs etc.</p>

<p>In julius ceaser,Brutus was inspired to kill ceaser because he was moved by the genuine love for Rome.The members of the roman senate-cisca,cassius etc. wanted to kill ceaser because they were jealous of his sudden meteoric rise and wanted to bring his downfall.On the contrary,Brutus made up his mind to kill ceaser because he knew that if ever julius became the king of Rome,the people will have to become slaves themselves .</p>

<p>Time and again ,history has provided us with so many examples,where people were motivated to change because of their conscience.Gandhiji was born in a rich indian family.If he wanted,he could have lived his life lavishly.But on the contrary,he choose to fight for the rights of indians.He participated in hunger strickes,boycotting of foreign clothes,went to jail so many times.He had to undergo so much of struggles, yet he didn't gave up his fight for the independence of india.He fought till the end of his life.</p>

<p>Also,The lions international club ,which is one of the biggest international clubs ,organises so many live events and meetings to raise funds for charity It's motto is "Service To god ,is service to man".</p>

<p>A lust for money,power and fame can definitely make you do outlandish things ,but if u have a strong conscience you'll always choose the right path.</p>

<p>First, never ever use "I" in an essay. Instead of saying you, try to use one. You have decent examples but you should develop them more. The ending is somewhat lacking as is the second to last paragraph. Also, you should try to enhance the vocabulary and word choice. Try to make sure that your paragraphs connect to a certain extent, especially between the introduction and the first paragraph. If I were to give this paper a grade it would be: C+/B-. Depending on what grade you are in.</p>

<p>8/12 score.... nothing close to a ten</p>