rate my sat essay

<p>i cant write essays for my life, but here it is...</p>

<p>prompt: are we free to make our own choices in life, or are our decisions always limited by the rules of society?</p>

<p>When the 13 colonies were founded, the Founding Fathers sought to make a bill that protected the rights of American citizens -- their life, their liberty, and their pursuit of happiness -- in order to ascertain that if a tyrannical government were to emerge, we would still have the freedom to make choices in life. It is these set of rules, the Bill of Rights, that, on the contrary, do not limit our decisions, but in fact protect them. </p>

<p>However, there are still laws in place that may prevent people from doing what they desire. The system of checks in our government was created so that all laws passed must be just, while still preserving the rights of the people. Therefore, those who are inhibited by the law must have unjust or deleterious intentions. Yes, it is true that these people are limited by the rules of society, but they are only inhibited because they mean to harm others and take away the people’s pursuit of happiness. Thus, by limiting their power to do so, the laws protect the citizen’s right to a happy life. </p>

<p>thats all i got in 25 minutes, i culdnt think of any more...
what would you rate this? how could iwrite a better essay? what should i think about when writing this?</p>

<p>Uh, 6 or a 7. It’s very vague and you have one example for your thesis.</p>

<p>Its really short. Focus on making it longer.</p>

<p>is there any specific way to improve or elongate my essay? and also, does there always need to be more than one example? ive seen essays which only include one example but still score an 11?</p>

<p>can anyone grade mine ppleaseee</p>

<p>I did a 1-example essay for a 12, but mines filled up the 2 pages.</p>