<p>The emphasis that states that people who don't follow society's traditional paths to advancement are more likely to be successful than those who do is indisputably true .
Therefore, most successful individuals the world had ever known have self developed their own skills that they need to start their own business , invent new technology , or even create work of art . Furthermore, such people have uniquely contributed to our world today and had a long lasting impact ;meanwhile , those who follow a conventional path have a minimal impact on the world.
Mark Zawl's enormous success the previous assumption that those who follow an unorthodox path are most likely to succeed .Unlike what most people do , Mark , a Medicine student at Harvard and a eminent computer prodigy , decided to leave Harvard university and focus more on computer programming .Despite all criticism he received , Mark, indifferent to people's opinions and common held notions ,started working on a computer program called "WMS ", which he thought will be a big hit in computer programming when it's done .After three years from leaving Harvard and continuous working ,Mark officially released "WMS" which ,as Mark expected , invaded the computer programming market and achieved high sales ,allowing Mark to establish his own computer programming company and become one of the richest people in the world .
Another example is that of Shakespeare's success . Although Shakespeare is inconvertibly one of the world's famous poets and writers , he never really had formal education because he didn't belong to a Nobel family and had to work as a servant in wealthy families homes .However , he , refusing to surrender to such tradition ,taught himself how to read and write .Moreover , he gained all his broad knowledge from reading books in his local library and not from any university .In addition , rather than using common words at his time ,Shakespeare coined more than 17000 which he has used in his writings and which made him a unique writer by adding a special " flavor " to his work . Shakespeare enormous success wouldn't exist if he had followed the traditional path of success at his time .Instead of being a well known writer ,he would have become a butler , a position any servant would aim for.
To conclude , following an unorthodox path of success have lasting and long term benefit not only for the individual but also for the whole world .</p>
<p>7-8</p>
<p>Good examples. Some strange wording. Some sentence poorly formed. Weak conclusion. Ideas could be better organized and should flow better.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>This should not be in the ACT Preparation forum.</p></li>
<li><p>Please do not use text-speak in your thread titles.</p></li>
<li><p>I’m giving your essay a score of 6. The introduction and conclusion are both too short, your sentence structure and grammar are weak, and many of your sentences are awkward. I’d suggest reading essays from publications such as The Atlantic or The New Yorker to improve your writing skills.</p></li>
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<p>Can u tell me how to improve it? </p>
<p>Thank Youu </p>