Read my First Draft of CommonApp Essay? :)

College Essays
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<p>If you'd be willing to, please PM me and let me know if you are a HS student/college student/teacher/college advisor. It is the FIRST DRAFT of the essay, and I personally think it's quite crappy/all over the place, but we'll see what advices you guys can offer.</p>

<p>Be aware, it is personal and has to do with overcoming an illness....</p>

<p>Also, it's currently around 640 words and I'm working on trimming it down both by unnecessary wording and sentences that digress from the topic.</p>

<p>Feel free to offer any advice/constructive criticism. </p>

<p>PM me please! :)</p>

<p>Also, here's my college list:
Early Decision – University of Pennsylvania</p>

<p>Princeton University
Yale University
Brown University
Cornell University
Johns Hopkins University
Brandeis University
Tufts University
Vassar College
University of Connecticut
Stony Brook University
University of Rochester
Fordham University</p>

<p>Thanks so much in advance,
levinel</p>

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<p>Or, you could just post here and i’ll PM you myself, if that would be easier lol :)</p>

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<p>send it away =)</p>

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<p>PM meeeeee</p>

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<p>I would love to read it for you.</p>

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<p>I’d be glad to read over it and provide some feedback! Just send it to me through a PM.</p>

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<p>my humble eyes are looking to take a peek</p>

<p>whoa too much…</p>

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<p>I can take a look. I am a HS student (nearly finished with my essay) and have read quite a lot of essays on here. Pm me</p>

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<p>send away!</p>

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<p>I am a teacher and a parent - I would be happy to read your essay.</p>

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<p>you can pm me :)</p>

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<p>I’d like to take a look, send! =)</p>

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<p>I am a college student in sophomore. Glad to give some feedback if you pm me your essay</p>