read my uc berkeley letter of appeal 1st draft

<p>To whom it may concern:
I believe my college application did not paint a complete picture of my background as well as my involvement with the University of California, and therefore would like the opportunity to contest my admission decision. To be frank, I was not surprised to see my application turned away by Berkeley due to the extremely competitive nature of the admissions process that this top-notch university adheres to while sifting through over 83,000 applicants. I understand that I am not the most competitive student, I did not submit my transfer application with a 4.0 GPA, nor am I a star athlete, but I am asking for the opportunity to contest this decision based upon my current involvement with the University of California at Berkeley including volunteering with several campus organizations, my significantly improved spring grades, and excelling in a UC Berkeley class (Peace and Conflict Studies) which I have been taking at UCB through Berkeley City Colleges’ concurrent enrollment program. </p>

<p>I have been living one block away from the UC Berkeley campus since August of last year while attending Berkeley City College, and have been allocating a significant portion of my time to UC Berkeley clubs and organizations such as writing for BPR (Berkeley Political Review) political blog/ magazine and working as a volunteer in the music department and the music library at KALX the UC Berkeley campus radio station. My work that I do for the Berkeley Political Review includes editing articles written by my fellow Berkeley students as well as publishing several articles on Californian and national politics of my own. In Addition to the journalism I’m involved with at BPR, I also volunteer time at KALX reviewing albums, producing samples for radio shows, filling in for DJ slots, and organizing the vast music library. The University of California provides an excellent resource for me to express my political opinions and appreciation of music, and yearn for the opportunity to continue contributing to this universities’ artistic and political landscape that I have been heavily influenced by.</p>

<p>While my application was submitted only 6 months ago, I have grown be a much more mature and responsible young adult since I applied to the university last fall. My grades that I submitted to the University of California were not the most competitive, but I have seen a fundamental change in my attitude towards education. Having only taken classes at community colleges up until this semester, I was not being challenged by course material in my general education classes and that under-stimulation led to me being un-interested in school. This big change in my attitude towards education came this spring from my concurrent enrollment at UC Berkeley and taking the survey class for the major I applied as, (Peace and Conflict Studies) I have seen a rise in all of my grades as well as my drive to achieve an education from an institution which will challenge me. The thirst for knowledge I see in my classmates at UC Berkeley has rubbed off on me as I have been auditing many classes around campus, and have been receiving A’s on all of my coursework up until this point (including my PACS 10 class I take at UCB) and expect to finish the semester with a 4.0. Since taking classes at UC Berkeley, I know that this institution will challenge me, and I embrace that challenge. I am ready to work hard, gain as much knowledge from the Berkeley environment that I can, and continue to excel at this university that I am proud to say I have become a part of.</p>

<p>I know that it is improbable that I will be accepted to UC Berkeley based on an appeal, but I feel I have to exercise every option possible to be accepted into this institution which I am pleased to say I put a large portion of my time and energy into. I have grown to become a part of this university despite not being an enrolled student and want the opportunity to continue contributing my thirst for knowledge and extra-curricular involvement to the University of California. I have included a letter of recommendation from my history professor Tim Rose who is also a UC Berkeley graduate. I thank you for the opportunity to appeal my admission decision, as well as taking the time to evaluate my letter of appeal.</p>

<p>C’mon editor, really. That’s actually kind of funny. GL</p>

<p>Why do you say “my fellow Berkeley students” in paragraph two. Hate to break it to you,but you’re not a Berkeley student.</p>

<p>IMO, it’s not as coherent as it should be due to the organization; stay on point without bringing up materials which distracts from your goal… all your points should support your thesis - I should be admitted to UCB because XXXXXX… </p>

<p>What I’m getting from your appeal is: I enjoy participating in UCB organizations and have a desire to attend UCB because it challenges me, therefore I should be admitted. Unfortunately, the former and the latter does not equate to “I’m qualified, therefore extend an admissions offer”. </p>

<p>As you noted, there are many qualified applicants who were admitted, and that you were not competitive. Your appeal should explain why you deserve to be at Cal; in other words, what do you bring to Cal (academics, life-experience, etc) that makes up for your lack of “competitiveness” rather than I want to be at Cal because it “challenges me”.</p>

<p>You should stress what’s new about you since your application. Leave all the negative parts out, they would only hurt you.</p>

<p>And like the above post, keep on point. Don’t go off on different topics, just stick with what’s new about you since the application and how you are a more deserving applicant now.</p>

<p>You don’t have to make your essay long to meet the word limit, if your appeal is short, then keep it short.</p>

<p>Good luck! :)</p>

<p>After reading a paragraph and a half of the next I didn’t care anymore. Got to sounding like you didn’t spend enough time taking care of your actual BCC studies in the first place.</p>

<p>What that1guy said. Also I doubt that they will take your letter of recommendation into consideration.</p>

<p>You sound really whiny… almost as if you’re in more than compared to the admissions officer. Your appeal would never be granted because of that.</p>