Read my UC essay, please?

[kimberlim]

<p>Would anyone please comment and critique my essay? I'm not sure whether I'm heading in the right direction.
I'll PM it to you.</p>

<p>Thank you </p>

[ElVerdad]

<p>I’ll help! </p>

[purified]

<p>I will help too! </p>

[oreogirl12]

<p>I can help as well</p>

[liveyourlife26]

<p>I’ll help as well! :)</p>