<p>I'm having a really hard time transitioning to college, way worse than I thought it would be. It's only my second day so I know it has the potential to get better, but my loneliness here has turned into a downward spiral and I don't know how to stop it. Meeting new people makes me extremely anxious so making friends has been hard so far, and I don't know anyone here I can fall back on or even just spend time with (and I'm at a state school where a lot of people seem to know each other and I'm totally alone here). On top of that I miss my family and friends a lot and I want to just go home more than anything, though I know that's not really a good option.</p>
<p>I know these feelings are normal to an extent but I've been pretty much unable to get through an hour without crying over these last few days and I've completely lost my appetite - I'm forcing myself to eat from time to time but I don't think it's enough bc I've been feeling really weak though I haven't felt hungry since before I left for school on Friday. </p>
<p>My main problem is that while I hear that it gets better, I can't think of anything to look forward to, any time in the future when I'll be happy, and I'm having trouble even seeing the point of living (not suicidal though, don't worry - I wouldn't want to hurt the people who love me) because when I look into my future all I see is more stress and tears. </p>
<p>Is this normal for college freshmen or is there something wrong with me? Is there anything I can do to make myself feel ok again?</p>
<p>Relax. There’s probably other kids in your situation too; don’t know anyone beforehand and feeling quite alone. Don’t get down on yourself so quickly. Once classes start you’ll be interacting with other students, join some interesting clubs to make friends, and try to stay positive. Holing yourself up in your room vs. going out to meet new people can make a huge difference in your college career (I’ve done both). It might be scary, but try venturing out of your comfort zone. Go to study groups if anything, or talk to professors. Also chances are your school has a counseling center if you want more specific help.</p>
<p>Second day. I couldn’t take your post seriously because it sounds like you’re either trolling or you’re wildly veering off the normal track here.</p>
<p>It is normal to be homesick when going away. It does not last that long and it is a part of growing up. You’ll probably get over it fairly soon. You talk as if you’ve been lonely for years and need to seriously shift your expectations. You aren’t going to make some friend that changes your life and you’re instantly best friends with from day one. That’s movie stuff. You will make friends but seriously how can you come to a new college and say that since meeting new people makes you extremely anxious you’d have an easy time making friends? Get some courage. Join a frat/sorority and clubs. Go to all the events whether you like them or not. Put yourself out there and stop wasting time crying. Get to know your classmates.</p>
<p>It’s only been two days and you say you see no future of anytime you’ll be happy? That’s super over-dramatic as well as naive. Speaking as someone who has asperger’s syndrome, I have my social hangups just as anyone else might. Still, you really have to change up your mentality and grab the bull by the horns. Think about what you want and make it happen. It may not be easy, but you shouldn’t waste anymore time mourning over your two days worth of experience and conclude you’ll be unhappy forever.</p>
<p>Parent here. Yes, homesick feelings very normal and getting out and busy best way to feel better - as is exercise. BUT if you are still struggling with these feeling and you are not eating etc in another day, it’s time to ask for help. Reach out to your RA, the campus health center and/or your parents. You do not want or need to feel this crummy on your own. Take good care.</p>
<p>smwhtslghtlydzed, it pains me to see that you’re hurting because we’ve helped each other through a lot on the Georgetown boards this past year.</p>
<p>I know you’re at UMCP, and a lot of my friends who go there said that they see a lot of people in your situation, and for their sake, they’re glad that half our high school went there. Don’t worry, there are many people there who are feeling the same things, but after the first couple of weeks, high school friendships sort of just dissolve and people begin to branch out and make their new college friends.</p>
<p>Luckily this has already started to happen at GW, because we don’t have huge groups of people who already know each other. The process takes a little longer at state schools, but just keep the door to your room open and keep a smile on your face, and you’ll make friends soon. From what I’ve seen you write on these boards, you’re a very intelligent girl and should have no trouble engaging people in stimulating conversation.</p>
<p>CalDud - that’s harsh. She sounds depressed. Not everyone can automatically “get over it” like you can. And no way she’s/he’s trolling. I’ve felt like this before - it’s not a switch you can turn off and/or on. </p>
<p>smwht - I do recommend you join clubs as well but also, talk to people in your class. Remember that people are anxious, nervous and desperate to make friends too. Go talk to your RA AND your campus health center. You are not alone. I know right now that this seems impossible but this too shall pass. Hopefully, the ‘newness’ will wear off soon and you’ll begin to get into the swing of classes and ecs. You honestly sound depressed to me, what with the nonstop crying and not eating. Please see someone soon to discuss your feelings! (as lame as that sounds). I also agree with not holing yourself up in your room either. As scary as it may be, talk to people on your floor, in the caf, in your classes, etc. You never know who can end up being your new friend.</p>
<p>Try to be strong and good luck.</p>
<p>P.S. I felt like this last year. I don’t know if it’s normal though as I seemed to be the ‘only one’ dealing with feelings that strong. I’m sure there were others and I wasn’t alone but I didn’t know how to reach out. All my floormates seemed so happy and I was so sad. But believe me, it gets better.</p>
<p>A lot of the people that you are seeing are probably upper classmen. Your feelings are normal, very normal, but you do need to eat. My daughter was homesick for 2 weeks, and she’s always been nervous and shy. She couldn’t talk to anyone because that wasn’t her style, so she wrote everyday in her journal. Anything that was positive in her day, she highlighted with a yellow highlighter. (ex: someone said something really funny in her class, one of her dorm mates helped her figure out the laundry machines, etc.). Additionally her RA always had socials in her room. Go and bug your RA, that’s why they get the big bucks!!! (LOL)</p>
<p>So I have one question for you: why are you at this university? Is it something that you chose to do for your future? Or did your parents pick this for you? </p>
<p>If YOU picked this path then don’t you think you have an obligation to yourself to follow your dreams? Take care of yourself and start slowly; you will see that there are a lot of people EXACTLY like you but you have to let your insides show a little GOOD LUCK!!!</p>
<p>Don’t dismiss it right away it hasn’t even been a week yet.Don’t worry you’ll get settled in and if you’re not from that area its normal not to know a lot of people but you’re family and friends are a phone call away! Good luck</p>
<p>Thanks a lot to everyone who has been helpful and supportive on this thread. I know it sounded melodramatic considering I had just gotten to school but those first two days were the worst I’ve ever felt in my entire life and while I wasn’t considering suicide because of the people who love me I had pretty much lost my will to live and couldn’t go an hour without crying, so I really don’t appreciate the people who were judgmental about it. It may have only lasted a few days but at the time I just couldn’t see an end to it, which is why I turned to this site because the health center wasn’t open and people on here have been helpful in the past.</p>
<p>Just as an update to those who have been kind on this thread things have gotten better. I talked to the RA of my building and just having a safe place to cry helped a lot, and visiting my friend at a nearby school helped me through those first few days. Over the last two days I have been meeting people and making new friends, so the situation has gotten better. I agree with the people who said I needed to change my expectations, although it was much easier said than done. I knew I wouldn’t make close friends right off the bat, but the fact that most people had high school friends to turn to made me feel super lonely and I just couldn’t help wishing that I had people around me who I was already comfortable around. I think I just needed time to realize that I do need to allow things to come slowly and be happy with the progress that has been made. Like I ate dinner alone today because I didn’t know who to go with, but I made a new friend today who I’d eaten lunch with so I’m choosing to focus on that. </p>
<p>@saman: I really appreciate that and I’m glad someone posted who I’ve talked to before! And I totally agree about GW, one of my best friends is going there and when I visited I was super jealous about how open everyone was since everyone there started out alone! At the time it made me a little sad that I hadn’t chosen GW over UMD but now that I’ve had time to get used to things I’m glad I’m here and I think even if things move slowly I’ll eventually be happy here :)</p>
<p>OP,
we are from Ohio and my sons have some friends that have attended UMD…all have thrived there, but not necessarily on Day 1.</p>
<p>The students from in-state who are hanging around with their old friends from high school are just as uncomfortable as you are–that is why they are still hanging around with their old friends! It’s just right now, they have a crutch, and you don’t.</p>
<p>As the semester progresses, everyone lets go of their old friends a little bit at a time, and things will get easier for you. In classes, offer to be a study buddy, or help set up a small study group–a good way to make friends. Join some clubs and some intramural teams. Go to work out at the exericse facility–try different times, different days to see if you might meet some kindred souls. If you are a little lonely in your room, walk around and check out floor lounges–and not just on your floor. Or go do some of your reading in a public place–the social area of the library, or a coffee shop, anywhere it is possible to smile at someone and maybe strike up a conversation.</p>
<p>I am glad that things are getting better for you. You are definitley moving in the right direction!</p>
<p>Wait you’re at UMCP too? I feel similar. Luckily I already knew a few people here, but the reality is I won’t get to hang with them every day and I really want to make new friends. Good luck to you.</p>
<p>Glad to hear that it is getting better!!! Remember to take it one day at a time. “Paso por paso”. And please eat some of that scrumptious? dorm food!!!</p>
<p>I am glad to hear you are doing better and are aware that your feelings won’t change completely overnight. Keep focusing on the positive and just know many freshman at your school and others will have the same ups and downs.</p>
GOOD LUCK!!!</p>