<p>I've been at tufts for about a month now and I'm really not liking it here. I just don't feel like I fit in. It seems like its so quirky and there's lots of richer more stuck up people and the only fun people seem to only want to smoke and drink rather than actually have a good time. I feel like I'm a genuinely outgoing person and I think I'm pretty smart, and I think I have my own quirks, but it's almost like Tufts is too out there for me in terms of quirkiness and intellectual-ness. Like maybe I'm not intellectually curious enough to fit in here? Maybe I'm not quirky enough? I'm from the south and maybe that's playing a role in my adjustment too.
And like is there a way to know if youre not the new england NESCAC school type? I could see myself having fun at big school athletic type events!
And maybe I just need to be a little closer to home to find people with similar backgrounds. All my best friends had really similar backgrounds to me.
I just don't know what to think... I'm so unhappy I've relapsed into this depression that I had all but gotten rid of in high school.
When do you know it's time to call it quits? I could still get out of here in time to be somewhere else next semester? Gah what to do
Thanks</p>
<p>Complete and submit some transfer apps ASAP. In addition, focus on your academics and keep your grades strong. This way, you will have options if your current school’s atmosphere doesn’t get any better for you.</p>
<p>PS–Not all Northeast schools are like Tufts.</p>
<p>Just how quirky is Tufts? I’m a prospective student and would appreciate some specific anecdotes.</p>
<p>Also, your depression record already suggests that you may not be the most emotionally stable person.</p>
<p>You can’t relate? How about the international students making up nearly 10% of the population who are not even from an American setting? I’m sure there are more Southerners than there are international students at Tufts.</p>
<p>“smoke and drink rather than actually have a good time.” Smoking and drinking could be having a good time for many people. Please don’t make them sound like something remotely bad since those are what majority of college students are doing to have a good time. Sadly you are a minority if you have drinking problem.</p>
<p>I highly doubt it’s entirely Tufts’ problem. Tufts is a reasonably sized school and I think you need to look around some more. Don’t rely on climbing up the ladder through transfer unless you got into schools reasonably better than Tufts in your freshman admission. Plus transferring may not be the solution since many top schools are known for quirkiness anyway, if that’s actually the problem.</p>
<p>Melody, you have to spend some time on the campus to see and experience it for yourself. Do not base your view of Tufts (or any school for that matter) on what you read or what an admissions person tells you. You have to experience it to understand what the OP saying.</p>
<p>Melody, don’t be so preoccupied with rankings and so called prestige. Numbers are manipulated to fit into those rankings. Transferring to a different school with a better social fit is not going to doom someone to a horrible future. It’s done more often then you know.</p>
<p>“Melody, don’t be so preoccupied with rankings and so called prestige. Numbers are manipulated to fit into those rankings. Transferring to a different school with a better social fit is not going to doom someone to a horrible future. It’s done more often then you know.”</p>
<p>Where in my post did I stress that prestige and ranking are important?</p>
<p>I did not condemn the OP for thinking of transferring out into a lower ranked school. I think it’s a respectable move. I was just assuming the OP is interested in a peer or better school since Tufts is a really good school and most transfers from top schools are not really interested in lower schools. (Just go around the transfer forum and you’ll see)</p>
<p>for some reason many people dislike tufts and end up transferring, despite it having prestige and its ranking. i’m not saying anything about tufts in general since i haven’t experienced it for myself but having gone to school in boston, i’ve heard about people doing this.</p>
<p>Don’t feel trapped. You can always transfer. But it’s very early in the year to make that decision. Transfer apps aren’t due until March. The transition to college can be hard until you find your group of friends. You may want to look into Greek life. Not the quirky crowd.</p>
<p>I also feel that it’s too soon to make a decision. Remember that you went there for a reason, and there’s a reason for everything. About a week ago (and even sometimes right now) I also get sad and feel like I made a bad choice. I could’ve stayed in the South where I’m from instead of coming this far 10 hours from home, no way to go back during fall break, etc. But then I keep telling myself this feeling is normal and is just temporary. I think I just have to give it more time. A month isn’t long enough at all, most people it takes until Thanksgiving, maybe a semester of even a full year. If by next year you are still totally miserable (and you gave your best shot at making friends, taking advantage of opportunities there, etc.) then I think it’s fine for a transfer. But I think you should at least give it a full semester’s try. This feeling of regret and loss of what to do (trapped) sucks, I know, since I felt (and sometimes still do) feel the same thing. </p>
<p>Greek life may not be the best thing to do, since I take it you’re not into drinking? I don’t drink, so I’m not in the greek life though it’s pretty big here. And yeah, there are stuck up / rich people in SO many places, and many ppl here are like that too. I just ignore them. They can be that way, but it won’t affect me. I’m sure you can meet and be friends with a lot of people similar to you. Wish you the best</p>
<p>Kind of OT but greek life is great even for non-drinkers and non-partiers! I always suggest everyone to go to meetings, rush, and keep an open mind because on some campuses, yes greek life is seriously about partying and hazing but on other it is one way to meet AMAZING people.</p>
<p>I do suggest you immerse yourself the best you can. Join clubs that sound interesting. Talk to people in your class. If you dorm, what about your hallmates? I hated my first year of college and transferred but by the end of the 2nd semester I found great friends that made me want to stay. But the cons outweighed the pros so I ended up leaving.</p>
<p>Definitely immerse yourself, THEN make a decision. Every school has its “groups” of people and every school will have people that you enjoy talking to. You just need to find them still!</p>
<p>Melody, having a history of depression does not make someone mentally unstable, and I’m not really sure why you are bringing up international students. Some of them may fit in more despite not being from the United States because of other shared experiences. And actually, the majority of college students do not smoke, and about half do not drink.</p>
<p>Anyway, OP, I too think it’s too soon to tell - you’ve been there for not even 2 months yet. Sometimes it takes a while to settle in. But you are getting about the time where you can tell the difference between “haven’t settled” and “don’t fit in.” I would begin to prepare yourself for submitting transfer applications, but also make sure that you try to take a different angle towards getting involved on campus.</p>
<p>Do they have a program where you can take a couple classes per semester at another nearby college? If so, you might try that out. You might find a crowd you like to socialize at that other college, even if you stay enrolled at your current college. Also, look for clubs where you can find people you like.</p>
<p>There is no harm in putting in some transfer applications, even if you later decide to stay. Just be sure to keep your grades up so you have transfer options.</p>
<p>I lived in a large off-campus international house that attracted students from many different colleges and countries. You might try that out.</p>
<p>Again, I would not do anything about transferring just yet. For instance,you need references from professors and they need to get to know you a bit. Sorry, but I don’t agree about making friends form other colleges–not so realistic for freshman. There are so many people at Tufts that you will surely find a group there. If you are still unhappy at the end of the semester, look at other colleges over Christmas break.</p>
<p>Hello @grendel1 I commend you in the intelligent and systematic manner in which you are proceeding. I would re re-iterate that depression is not a character flaw and does not demonstrate instability. It is human, common and normal.
I think that you may be extrapolating from your experiences so far and generalizing about an entire campus. You will have people of all characters at a northern or a southern college. Your uniqueness may be an opportunity in disguise to more readily identify real friends as opposed to time filler acquaintances.<br>
Be vigilant of unwanted weight loss or more serious despondency and get attention for same </p>
<p>I agree with keeping an open mind yet no harm in exploring transfer. Only you can decide if you need to change schools</p>
<p>Best of luck. I am sure that you will be fine. Ps. I hated college, liked med school and love my job. I did a year in Scotland in college and it was great 4 me.</p>
<p>Having had friends and visited the campus dozens of times, Tufts isn’t really THAT QUIRKY as they love to portray themselves. My undergrad(Oberlin) was much more quirky…especially when I attended 10+ years ago. </p>
<p>However, if one limits oneself to the Tufts campus, it does have a tendency to feel isolated, especially on weekends as most students tend to go off to Cambridge/Boston to party or otherwise hang out on the weekends. </p>
<p>Most Tufts friends figure out within a matter of weeks that the best thing to do after getting themselves squared away academically and making friends on campus is to branch out, make friends on other campuses, and go to Cambridge/Boston for weekend partying/hanging out with all those friends. And that’s just for starters. </p>
<p>If you happen to befriend anyone from Wellesley, you can also make a day trip to have them give you a tour of their campus. Heard it’s gorgeous. </p>
<p>Also, if you give yourself more time, you’ll find Tufts students who don’t drink or smoke. Most of my Tufts friends and their campus friends didn’t drink much and none of them smoked.</p>