<p>I am SO confused and SO lost and among all of that I'm also feeling unhappy with my current situation and am unsure of how to change things......I'll try and explain:</p>
<p>I guess I should start by saying that I was a screw-up in highschool and I decided to drop out and get my GED at 16 instead of finishing...so then I basically wasted the next 2 years of my life until I fell into a deep depression and realized my life was going nowhere. That is about the time I started to shape up, and I registered to take my ACT so that I could get admitted into college. After taking my ACT I got a 25 which is acceptable for most colleges but I was still hoping to do better. Regardless I did get admitted into a nice college that is about 1/2 hour away from where I live--and this is the present time, so now you're up to speed.</p>
<p>SO...I decided I needed to get away from all my past influences and try and start over for myself. Even though that only meant living a short drive away, it still seemed like a good idea, so I moved into the dorms in August before fall semester started. My first problem presents itself because I have lost my focus and my motivation....I've had 4 exams so far (in all of my classes combined) and have Aced every one, so I know I'm on the right track but I'm afraid I'm falling off. I came into the semester knowing exactly what I wanted to do...but now my family is stressing me out. My mom wants me home every weekend, and she wants me to do all of these things, and she is stressing me out! I've tried talking to her about it over and over again but she wont listen and I don't have much of an argument point because without her I wouldn't be able to afford college --here presents the second problem. My mom makes a VERY good income, but she blows all her money away and so is somehow always in debt......but because the federal government looks at her income when I file for Student Loans (since I am unfortunately her dependent until 24 years of age or marriage) then they say my EFC (expected family income) is basically EVERYTHING!!! SO I'M SCREWED THERE, because they wont loan me out any money....and trust me I've talked to every financial aid advisor there is and there is nothing they can do for me. So, basically I'm stuck obliging to my mother's ridiculous demands because I can't pay for college without her.</p>
<p>This then presents a problem for me socially because when I'm not in class I'm either trying to study or run around and do stuff for my mother.....I have no friends. I'm always alone and I'm starting to get very lonely and feel extremely isolated. I think it's making me depressed.</p>
<p>Then on top of all that I miss my sister. She lives with her fiance in the same town as my mom and she used to be my best friend. I lived with her for the 2 years when I dropped out of highschool and she got me through everything. I miss her like crazy, all the time, and I am constantly torn between wanting to move to a school farther away so that my mom can't demand such outrageous things of me but at the same time, not wanting to move away from my sister....especially since I haven't connected with ANYone at my school yet.</p>
<p>I know this is a lot, so let me just sum it up: my biggest problem is that I don't know what I want to do as far as my major or my school choice. I took my ACT again and scored a 29 and I've currently got a 4.0 GPA and would LOVE to go to a really nice school and get into a really nice program because I know I'm smart if I apply myself....but how can I do this? HOW CAN I PAY FOR IT?? I don't even know where to start...and being so depressed all the time doesn't motivate me to try either. </p>
<p>It would be nice to have a friend, or at least some kind of support system--I thought that's what family was for?</p>
<p>As you can see.....I'm lost....and confused....</p>
<p>Any thoughts are appreciated as mine are always the same and are getting me nowhere...</p>