Reasonable "allowance" for kid living away at college

Parents Forum
81

<p>Whether the campus job is hard or easy to come by will obviously vary a lot with the campus. Neither of my Ds seemed to have difficulty finding campus jobs and they're not work-study. However, both of their campuses are large campuses that employ a lot of people. In both cases the pay per hour is well above minimum wage. These aren't just cafeteria jobs (and there's nothing wrong with a cafeteria job), many of them are at a higher level such as paid lab assistants, computer technical support, etc. Many of them afford opportunities to get some HW done if it's not busy depending on the type of job. Another kid I know at Stanford also had a campus job in a bio lab noting how certain fish were behaving and at that time a few years ago I think Stanford had a 'campus minimum wage' of $12/hr.</p>

<p>I'm sure it'd be tougher to find a good campus job at a very small LAC.</p>

<p>And I agree, the hours shouldn't get ridiculous or else it can start to have an impact on studies. However, if hours are kept to 8-12 hours per week I doubt the majority of students would see any negative impact and possibly a positive one due to more structure (and maybe less partying).</p>

82

<p>Do parents who don't give their kids spending money have their kids buy their own clothes and toiletries?</p>

<p>I plan to have my D earn her pocket money; I'm just not sure if clothing and toiletries should be part of that.</p>

<p>Funny to see this thread, because I was just thinking about this today.</p>

83

<p>^^ We don't give an allowance but do pay for her basic necessities including toiletries, the cell phone, etc. She doesn't have carte blanche on clothing but if she 'needs' something we'll buy it for her. Things like clothing she doesn't need, movies, restaurants, ipods, etc. she can pay for.</p>

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<p>Not a problem thus far. I have access to D's checking account (of money she earned this past summer) and see that she has spent less than $100 this year so far. I am relieved but know kids change their style and things could get more expensive.</p>

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<p>abuwalker: >>> Do parents who don't give their kids spending money have their kids buy their own clothes and toiletries?</p>

<p>I plan to have my D earn her pocket money; I'm just not sure if clothing and toiletries should be part of that.</p>

<p>Funny to see this thread, because I was just thinking about this today. <<<</p>

<p>I pay for my son's clothes, cell phone, his toiletries, etc. His part-time job 10-12 hr per week, doesn't net enough money to cover "everything." His part-time job is really for him to experience "earning his own money," and to pay for "fun" stuff - like movies, restaurants, etc.</p>

<p>Having a part-time job (again only 10 - 12 hours per week) helps my son learn to "budget his time." He used to procrastinate more when he didn't have a job. (There's an old saying that "if you need to get something done, ask a busy person." Meaning that busy people don't waste time.) </p>

<p>Our son has a "weekday" routine - go to class, go to job, meet friends to eat, homework, bed. His Friday nights and weekends are pretty much free to have fun (If there is some homework still to be done, he'll finish it on Saturday so that the rest of the weekend is free.)</p>

<p>By having a job, he knows that the must use his limited free time to get homework done first, and then have "fun time." That in and of itself is a lesson in "real life."</p>

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<p>belevitt >>> Fair warning, those parents that feel that their offspring ought to be earning their own money in college should consider this. Campus jobs (at least four years ago when I graduated) paid about 8 bucks an hour. I was able to put in about 20 hours a week meaning that I made less than 150 a week. The remainder of my living expenses was made up by credit card debt. It would be cheaper for all involved if you forewarn your children about this before they decide how much to take out in loans. Wouldn't you rather see your children do well in classes and make it into graduate/professional school rather than work as many student hourly hours as possible and build credit card debt (also bad habits) that will haunt them through their young adult years. With the cost of tuition, it seems as though many parents are cutting off their nose to spite their face.<<<</p>

<p>If what you wrote is true (that you were spending $150 per week PLUS putting stuff on credit cards) then you are suggesting that parents should be GIVING their children roughly $1000 a month to avoid what you experienced (150 X 4 weeks + credit card amt = @$1000/month). </p>

<p>It sounds like you are including "living expenses" in your scenario. ARE YOU??? I don't think that is what parents here are talking about. I believe that the parents here don't expect their kids to pay for their dorms or meal plans, but some do feel that the kids can earn money for "fun money". If you are NOT including "living expenses" and your scenario only includes "fun" expenses, then you wasted a heck of a lot of money on a lot of nothing - and no parent should have to subsidize that.</p>

<p>My son does NOT pay for his tuition, dorm, books or meal plan (his tuition and dorm are included in his scholarship). We pay for his meal plan, books, toiletries, gas to drive home, clothes, car, car insurance, etc. His earning from his part-time job (10-12 hrs/week) are used to pay for movies, gas, restaurants, etc. He doesn't have a credit card balance, because he only uses a debit card.</p>

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<p>We pay for our daughter's basic clothing and toiletries (well, maybe not so basic sometimes). She works around 10 hours a week. She's home from her fall break this weekend and we went shopping. She was obsess with getting a pair of black skinny jeans that would look good on her. After looking for 2 days she finally found a pair for $160. She asked me if I would spend that much money on a pair of pants. I left it up to her because I wasn't paying.</p>

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<p>It really depends on the cost of living. $250 in Texas will take you a LOT farther than in, say, Manhattan. I'm in NYC and I'm spending about $300-$350 a month and I'm buying my own groceries. Plane tickets home cost anywhere between $350 and $550.</p>

<p>My mom has a philosophy that I'm a student therefore school is my job. My dad shares that belief. My parents are supporting me financially until I finish school and I'm thankful for that. I plan to do the same if and when I have kids.</p>

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<p>Just for the record: I've never worked a job in my life, except for the occasional "freelance" work-i.e. translating work for my dad's business, that kind of thing-and I know how to manage my money. I can pretty much do the math in my head when I go to buy something about how much it's going to cost, and I actually keep a loose tally in my head on how much I spent that month and limit myself to a specific figure ($350 right now barring an emergency). Every dollar I got for my birthday, etc. I socked away in my savings account-I have about $3,300 saved up and earned about $750 this summer. I spend quite liberally on necessities (food, plane tickets, books, etc.) but on discretionary spending I'm conservative to the point of being stingy, but I'm not reckless. I have a credit score in the high 600's. On the other hand, my sister generally earned her own money doing various things, but she spends pretty recklessly. </p>

<p>And ucla-ucsd-dad, yes, I didn't get expensive things in high school. I didn't get a car until my senior year, and even then, I had to earn it with good grades, and even then I got my mom's old car. I didn't get my first iPod until I was 18, well after my sister, and I didn't get to get a new laptop until my old one literally fell apart. You kind of learn the value of money (the hard way) when you have to literally hold your laptop display up because it won't stay up by itself. And before going off to college, I was responsible for selling the car. Any disputes (insurance, credit card, etc) or customer service issues, she turns over to me and I handle. When I go home there's usually a folder full of problems for me to handle and resolve while at home. And thanks to her having me handle all my problems myself since I was about 12, I actually can get it done quickly and painlessly.</p>

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<p>I'm like a lot of parents in that my son earns his own spending money in the summers for college and we provide the books, housing, meals and tuition. He confided recently that he has spent $300 of his $1500 in the first two months of school on such things as Olive Garden dinners,outside food and a party. He may run out of spending money before the end of the year which is fine with me. Not having any money for fun is just as good a lesson as any of his college class offerings. He's a freshman this year but next year we'll weigh the idea of a part time job during the school year to help pay some of the college costs.</p>

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<p>My son has his classes, 2 part-time work-study jobs (where he can't actually study, unfortunately), and a daily sports practice schedule. His tuition and room & board are covered by a combination of a generous scholarship, us (parents), and his summer earnings. I pay for his books, and airfare twice a year between college and home. He pays for everything else; a cheapie pre-paid cellphone, clothes, incidentals, entertainment, eating out, etc. In addition he has to earn his own money for his sports team's winter training trip. We don't send him any actual money, ever. I don't know... he seems to be able to make all that work. (And he has no credit card. Nor can he afford a car. If he had one he'd have to buy it, insure it, keep it in repair, buy gas, and all other expenses.)</p>

<p>He has worked summers since he was 16, and not had video game systems or other goo-gahs. He did buy his own laptop with his summer earnings a couple years ago, but that's it for electronics. </p>

<p>We do everything we can, but we are out of funds after mortgage, insurance, food, bills, and just the usual necessities of life. Both the kids know this, and have never been given a regular allowance. Before they were old enough to work for their own spending money, we'd pay for their movie tickets occasionally and that sort of thing, but it was very limited.</p>

<p>It's all a matter of expectations, though. They are happy, industrious kids because this is just normal to them. My son is seeing how different it is for him from many of the kids at his college, though, who have access to money from their families. I don't think he gives it much thought however, because things just are the way they are. :)</p>

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<p>I'm a freshman this year, and my dad isn't giving me any money outright for an allowance, but I get to use whatever money I earn through work-study for non-meal plan food, clothes, entertainment, etc. My work study is $750 a semester, and so far, that's been working out well. I'd recommend something like this if you don't want to just "give" your son or daughter money, but you don't want to leave them completely on their own either--I hate my job (cafeteria work), but it'll be a good experience in the long run, and I like earning what is somewhat my own money. It's satisfying to know that I earned the money that I'm spending.</p>

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<p>Mrs Robinson,
Just curious,
You just joined cc this morning? What made you pick this thread for your first post?</p>

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<p>I honestly don't know how my D could be working a job right now. She is swamped with work for her classes and a few clubs. Maybe next semester but not right now.</p>

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<p>I think some here are confusing money for school/living expenses with money for "fun" and "extra clothes." </p>

<p>I think we need to stop mixing apples and oranges.</p>

<p>I think that in terms of "an allowance," we need to be talking about how much do we give our kids (if we do this) for just "fun," "extra clothes," "walking around money". </p>

<p>Obviously, any money given that is intended for dorm/rent, food, basic clothing needs, basic cell phone costs, etc, should not be figured into the equation. </p>

<p>For instance, one of my best friends pays for all school-related expenses - tuition, dorm, meal plan, books, fees, gas to drive home, cell phone, car expenses, clothes. BUT, she is ridiculously generous with her daughter's allowance - $400 a month just to blow on fun. Her d does not have a part-time job yet she would have plenty of time to work at one.</p>

<p>So... the question should be.... how much do you give your child to just blow on fun?</p>

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<p>My parents do not give me an allowance, nor have I ever received one. I've been responsible for my own spending money since I was 14 and got my first job, and now I'm also responsible for things like clothes and toiletries and groceries, as well as my text books, student loan payments, and whatever I can contribute to tuition (which isn't much, but every little bit helps). I wasn't awarded work-study so I'm working an awful job in dining services that is so physically demanding that when I come home after a shift I have to lie in bed for a couple hours till I stop hurting. But hey, it means I can pay a little more than just the interest on my loans, and get ahead a bit... (Also means I can keep up with my friends who have daddy's credit cards!)</p>

<p>I still have terrible spending habits, or rather, I just don't keep track of where my money goes. But I know that if I get myself into debt, my parents aren't going to just bail me out with no repercussions (this is why I don't have a credit card) so I do tend to save much more than my friends.</p>

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<p>In reading another thread, Son is stuck on a parkway--I'm the wreck, I expressed curiosity about NYSmile's priorities in not giving kids allowances for standard, everyday expenses (yes, I consider these to include going to the movies, walking around money, eating out with friends once in a while) so that they did not have to work during the school year, but footing the bill for what I consider a luxury, a car. As I posted in this thread as well as the other one, I don't think that kids shouldn't work during the summer and vacations, but that it is beneficial to their education not to have to during the semesters. I consider the dollar amount the college suggests to be appropriate - if they spend more, or want luxuries such as a car of their own (including the cost of the car, repairs and insurance) or to travel with friends they should pay for those.</p>

<p>Yes, there was a bit of sarcasm in my post on the other thread, but I was trying to make a point - I do consider having a car at college a luxury.</p>

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<p>What about the case of a spouse that stays home to take care of the family, but doesn't actually bring home a paycheck, should that spouse have an allowance similar to the spouse that works or should the stay home spouse do some part time work to earn some spending money? One may argue that the stay home spouse is actually working and contributing to the family, but isn't that the same as a child that's going to school full time, doing volunteer work and participating in sports? Why should parents have money to go out with friends, buy clothes...and a child must take on additional work on top of full load of schoolwork and ECs in order to pay for a few things that parents enjoy.</p>

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<p>^Maybe because we're kids?</p>

<p>It makes me sad that it's not okay for kids to just be kids anymore. Granted I'm now legally an adult and I'll be happy to work for my spending money.</p>

<p>But my point is, (most) adults aren't going to school full-time. It's our "job" to be students.</p>

100

<p>
[quote]
when you have to literally hold your laptop display up because it won't stay up by itself

[/quote]

Hmmm, you must have had a Dell (having gone though hinge breaks 3 times on 2 laptops myself).</p>

<p>
[quote]
I think some here are confusing money for school/living expenses with money for "fun" and "extra clothes."

[/quote]

I agree. My responses are segregating 'necessities' and 'fun'. They could survive on just the necessities and I pay for all of those since I too consider school as their primary job right now. They have adequate income on their own from summer jobs to cover the 'fun' stuff. In addition, they both chose to get on-campus jobs. They use this money only for fun stuff and savings. </p>

<p>Regarding the 'school is their job' - although I agree with this, I think the vast majority of students have 8-12 hours/wk available to spend at an on-campus flexible job if one's available at their campus without adversely affecting their studies. There are plenty of students in easier majors who have to get creative as to how they'll spend all their free time. There are others in tough majors who also seem to be able to handle it.</p>

<p>I think some of the students who haven't ever worked might want to consider evaluating their schedule, the available on-campus job opportunities, and think about trying one to get a bit of experience working (and receiving direction from supervisors, tolerating co-workers, etc.) and relieving their parents from providing 'fun' money for them if that's occurring or, build up some savings for post-UG.</p>