<p>Thanks to all who replied to my GRE thread previously. Recently, another issue came up, which has lurking for some time. This year I worked in a summer internship at a local biopharma company for about 2.5 months. During that time I build an decent, solid relationship with my supervisor, a research scientist there, and overall I would say he has a positive opinion of me( not just by my impressions, but his own words). At the end of the internship, he agreed to write a rec letter for me, but with one condition: that I first write an "outline" of what I "wanted" him to say and sent it to him so he can then flesh out the letter itself. Even better for him, he stated, would be for me to write the whole letter myself, give it to him for proofreading and then he'll sign it. At that time, I wasn't bother by this, because he was a very,very busy man juggling both work (5+conferences/dept. meetings every week with lab) and family(wife, kids). In addition, English was his second language. But now, as I'm prepping my rec letter forms, I'm not so sure. My questions are:</p>
<p>Is this a red flag situation where I shouldn't get a rec letter from him? How often is it that mentors want their students to draft their own letters?</p>
<p>Is it "legal" for me to write my own rec letters, with of course the mentor's approval and inspection?</p>
<p>If it is legal, how should I proceed?</p>
<p>In my experience from high school to college I've heard very briefly cases similar to mine, but I've never experienced it personally until now. My supervisor is not the only source of rec. letters, but he is literally the only one from an actual employer perspective, so I would loathe to skip him. Any advice and suggestions would be greatly appreciated. </p>
<p>legel/illegal is not the way to put it. Of course, technically, I'm sure it is not allowed, but they are not going to dig around, especially if your mentor signed it.</p>
<p>I had this situation, and what I hated most was trying not to seem like I thought more of myself than I am. For example, I had another teacher who let me read the LOR he wrote about me, and he complimented me in ways that I would feel EXTREMELY embarrassed to write about myself. He said I was one of the best students he ever had in 14 years of teaching, or something like that. How can you write something like that about yourself? </p>
<p>When you write your own LOR you are pretty much obligated to make it wishy-washy. That's what sucks the most.</p>
<p>If you're not comfortable, just tell him so and give him the outline. Either that or find another LOR provider.</p>
<p>If this man is going to be your 4th, don't bother. If you're not comfortable, then don't do it. I'm always very skeptical of anyone who asks me to write a LOR for them- they apparently don't know me well enough to write a draft off the top of their heads. I find that people who are geniunely excited to send you off to grad school are much more likely to have stronger LORs.</p>
<p>Writing your own LOR is generally a bad idea. Besides the ethical issues, you are unlikely to know what a good LOR looks like and likely lack the self-awareness and knowledge of grad school to write an effective letter.</p>
<p>That's crummy. Reminds me of the time when I had to write my own promotion contratulations letter, which was forwarded by my supervisor to the president of the large multinational I worked for. It really blew to get my own letter back.</p>
<p>Do the outline, and give him the usual supporting docs, your SOP and your resume.</p>
<p>My current PI does this all the time. People write their own letters of recommendation for fellowships, post docs, medical school. Fortunately, he didn't do this to me but I gather that it isn't uncommon. Write yourself a letter that includes factual information and examples of how you were an asset to your group. I would shy away from comparing yourself favorably to religious deities but don't be afraid to toot your own horn.</p>
<p>It's not unusual at all. Like johnM said, it's definitely a pain to talk about yourself in general, much to do so in someone else's voice and without appearing to praise yourself too highly/be too humble. I also agree with apumic in that it may be difficult to know what a good LOR should look like.</p>
<p>One of my profs asked me if I wanted to help him write my LOR. I felt like saying no was a bad idea. Well what happened is I told him the facts and he added the fluff. It might be the same case with this. I say go for it. When will you have another opportunity to make sure you get the LOR you want?</p>