<p>Come on now. Let’s stick to reality here. Lacrosse is fraudulent! </p>
<p>Yes indeed, Mr. Theyknow is citing some irrefutable statistics. Just think about it for a minute from a fundamental standpoint. If Jadaveon Clowney (6’6” and 270 lbs with a 4.5 second 40 yard dash) picked up a lacrosse stick and was racing down the field towards the goal, what exactly is Miles Prescott Harrington III (5’6” 145 lbs with a 5.3 second 40 yard dash) going to do to stop him? He can’t catch him. If he were standing in front of him, he’d get run over like Kamala splashing that man Krueger. After any type of collision, Miles would be on the sideline dialing up his hot model girlfriend to console him. If doesn’t matter that Miles is wicked going left. After smashing into Clowney, he wouldn’t have a left or a right, he’d be D E D.</p>
<p>I have done my research and have been to these All Star lacrosse camps. More than half of the kids who are timed in the 40 yard dash can’t run under a 5 flat. More than half of them weigh less than 170 lbs. Basically you are drawing from an inferior athletic gene pool when you are feeding this college sport. So to the parents who want to brag about their kid getting phone calls from college coaches, I might as well brag about my dinner getting interrupted by a telemarketer. </p>