Recurring anxiety over daughter traveling alone...

<p>Regarding the airlines arranging hotels -- they won't if there is anyway they can say it isn't their fault (and bad weather anywhere in their system qualifies as not their fault). I wouldn't count on it. If the kid doesn't want to spend the night in the airport make sure they have another way to pay for a room. Some times you can talk them into it, and sometimes you can't.</p>

<p>my3girls is right - we've had that experience with a weather related cancellation (and when I was younger I just slept in the airport). Some cash, an ATM card and credit card should cover every contingency. You can sometimes get something back from the airlines, but since your first concern is the safety/comfort of your kid, you want them to be able to pay up front.</p>

<p>It really is important, especially with having to make multiple connections, to start traveling as early in the day as you can. Son flew on the day of the big east coast black out a couple summers ago and had no problems because he was traveling west as the lights went out. Delays start in the morning and just build up throughout the day, so if you miss one flight there's a greater chance you'll still get out that day.</p>

<p>two bits of advice from a mom whose D had been travelling almost coast to coast (NY-AZ) for 4 years,now halfway across the country and to europe alone to meet up with a tour group...
I believe in addition to the credit card/ATM debit card in their name they should have access to an unlimited credit type card like American Express...put them on your account and get them a card in their name,to be used only for dire emergencies,like a totally new booked ticket.D also had to use hers when travelling by car across the Texarkana area... she blew tires and needed to replace them.Sometimes student credit card limits are just too small to handle a real full blown emergency situation.
Second bit of advice is to join the frequent flyer privelege program of every airline your kid might fly and to program those special access customer service telephone #'s they give you(and the account # as well)into their cell phones.This allows them to bypass the lines that form at the counter during an emergency(like last Monday when everything in the northeast shut down due to snow) and to get personalized service via their cell phones .This is travelling hubby's major piece of advice!
Also,carry your cell phone charger cord with you in your carry on and if delayed at the airport,plug yourself in against a wall for awhile...you'll be glad you did later on in your journey.</p>

<p>As a loving parent, you never really get over your concerns about children traveling alone. D can leave you a quick progress report via voicemail or e-mail: "Hey Mom, I made it to Chicago (or wherever) and everything is fine!"</p>

<p>Hopefully, she will run into someone also going to her school, and they can travel the final leg together.</p>

<p>It really doesn't do any good to worry, but I would never tell you not to. As long as children are willing to stay in communication, everything should be ok.</p>

<p>Back in the stone ages, I traveled alone to college and almost everywhere else, because my family was too poor to accompany me. But it really was easier for a guy, and for me, it was always an exciting adventure. </p>

<p>People just get stupid acting when they see a single female (of any age) traveling alone. It just brings out the worst in them.</p>

<p>Glad to know I am not the only Mom who uses flight trackers! They are a wonderful tool. </p>

<p>My D became fearful of flying after 9/11; she was on the flight several years ago where an Air Marshall became threatening and had to be removed from a flight. I had been watching on CNN, had seen it, but didn't know it was her flight. Of course, that was a one time thing, as far as I know. I agree with a former poster that it pays to get non-stop flights whenever possible, DD will ONLY go non-stop now. She will even take a train to Baltimore from Philly to be able to get the non-stopper to Nashville from Baltimore. S1 wouldn't be afraid for one second, even if his flight were delayed, cancelled, rerouted, whatever. It just depends on the kid. Cellphones do help a lot. S1 calls me the minute he gets out of the plane so I will quit worrying.</p>

<p>I want to clarify my earlier post -- I do agree that the airlines cannot be counted on to arrange hotels -- I just meant that the student should know to ASK - and that this is one situation where it helps to have a little bit of a sense of entitlement, even though the student should also know to ask politely. That is, the student shouldn't be deterred by the first "no", but should bring on line the same persuasive ability that our kids use when they don't want to hear "no" from us parents. (C'mon, face it -- our kids are really good at coming up with an endless series of arguments and saying "please, please, please" a lot when they want to). </p>

<p>Two years ago my daughter was traveling with a group of students bound for Russia on Aeroflot (a mistake right there), and they were bumped from the flight in L.A. because of overbooking. The next flight out was 2 days later. Actually there were about 14 traveling in the group and the airline could accommodate 12, but the Russian teacher leading the group would not consent to any sort of splitting of the group. At the time, my d. kept me posted by phone and reported a long, heated discussion all in Russian. In the end the airline paid for the kids at a local hotel for 2 nights - and every kid had their own private, separate room (no doubling!) - plus meal vouchers for 2 days -- plus a promise that on the next flight out, they all flew first class. So basically, persistance can win out. </p>

<p>Keep in mind that if a kid is under 18 traveling alone it may be difficult for them to rent a hotel room on their own, but the airlines also have heightened liability, even though 16-17 year old kids are not designated as "unaccompanied minors". But still - an airline would be in potential hot water if a 17 year old disappeared in the circumstances we've been discussing - so even if they wouldn't arrange for accommodations for an adult, they might do it for a teenager. </p>

<p>At the same time - my kids do have credit cards, always with enough credit available to pay for flights & hotels if needed. I do agree 100% that the kid ought to be prepared to handle things on his or her own if necessary -- I just wanted to point out that the kid should not be afraid to ask for help from the airlines first.</p>

<p>Actually, when I was 16 & 17 and traveling along back & forth to college, I frequently experienced weather-related delays at connecting airports, and I was pretty good at getting both help from the airlines and also doing an end run to try to arrange my own alternative flights as well. The only thing that frustrated me in those days was that I noticed that the airlines would give the adults vouchers that were good for free booze at the airport bars -- in fact, that is a very cheap way for airlines to keep their laid over passengers happy. After the 3rd margarita no one seems to mind any more. So that's the down side of being under 21.</p>

<p>I'm with the OP about being an "anxiousmom" when kids travel. Cell phones are just the best, and really take the edge off worry-wart-itis! Just remember that the plane trip, etc, are the safest of ways to travel. If you want to worry, worry about your kid driving 10 hours in a van after midnight on the way back to college after an out-of-state 3 day club sport, when everyone in the van is exhausted... :eek:</p>

<p>A few little-known facts: If your child is not familiar with airline travel, some airports will permit you to do a trial run through security, etc. You'll need to call ahead to arrange this and times may be limited to those when the airport isn't busy. Also, airlines at some airports will issue non-travelling parents passes to accompany their children to gates. You'll need a picture I.D. For those of you whose children have connecting flights, airline personnel at the arrival city can tell you whether your child made the connecting flight.</p>

<p>I hate to fly, and have one child who falls asleep instantly in any vehicle with an engine! (And he was the only one of the 3 that DIDN'T do that as a baby!) So we worry a lot when he travels.</p>

<p>However, it does get easier with each successful trip. And it also helps that I recognize that he has survived the less successful ones, too -- the ones where his connection was cancelled. Or where he fell asleep on the train and missed his stop. Or took the wrong train. Or the flight turbulence was so bad he got sick....</p>

<p>The biggest help, though, is the reminder I have taped to my bathroom mirror that "God loves my kids even more than I do." :)</p>

<p>Baseballmom:</p>

<p>I understand the angst, and one thing that may help is recognizing your D's reactions to strange situations and equipping her with methods of coping, as well as running through all scenarios.</p>

<p>One thing I did when my D was learning to drive - I would get in the car with her and get her totally lost. Then I would tell her to find her way home by herself - I would take out a book and start reading at that point, and ignore all pleas for help. </p>

<p>The first time I did this, she had a total meltdown. She pulled into MacDonald's parking lot, and started screaming at me - "Why don't you just tell me where to go? It would be so much easier." I just continued reading. Finally, she took a deep breath and realized I wasn't going to be any help. She also realized that it was Okay to be lost, to turn around in parking lots, u-turns can be fun, how and where to ask strangers for directions, reading signs can be useful, etc. It was all part of a big adventure. That was the first and last meltdown she ever had. She is now in college in a big city, takes public transportation effortlessly, and when she gets lost, she just figures it all out on her own. </p>

<p>It also helps to equip her with the necessary skills to "read" strangers and recognize the warning signs of trouble. Most people are friendly and well meaning, and more than happy to help someone in distress. So my advice is to make her as self-sufficient as possible in a way that shows you she can handle unpredictable circumstances.</p>

<p>I've travelled a lot, and I like to travel alone. I've met some of the most interesting people on planes and trains, and the travel arrangements that have gone awry have been few and far between, but also the most memorable. </p>

<p>The stories in the newspapers are mostly aberrations, and statistically speaking, very rare. If she sticks to the travel plans, and you've talked through all the contingencies, she should be fine.</p>

<p>One more piece of advice - ALWAYS book air travel directly through the airline. Never use online discount sites. If there is any problem with a flight or a missed connection, the airline's liability is significantly reduced if you did not book through them. </p>

<p>If you book directly with the airline and there'a a delay or other weather problem, they can often rebook you through different connections or with a different airline. If you book through an online site like Expedia, the airline's liability is only to put you on the next flight with that airline, through the originally booked connections. This could mean a 24 hour layover.</p>

<p>Read the fine print carefully if you do book online with a site like Expedia.</p>

<p>My children fly a LOT. My D likes to go to Europe on her own during her breaks; my son goes to school in Boston and has friends all over the world, it seems.</p>

<p>If you have, by any chance, lots of frequent flyer miles, I suggest sending your kids first class whenever possible. It gets them all kinds of amenities and options that really make a difference, especially when there are likely to be delays.</p>

<p>(We pay a lot of business expenses through a mileage credit card specifically so we have lots of frequent flyer miles. It's a wonderful luxury.)</p>

<p>If you do a little research, you will find that some airports have delays far more often than others. Other airports have better amenities if you ARE delayed--hotels in the airport or lots of hotels with shuttles, that kind of thing. Denver bought cots for delayed travelers a number of years ago (not long after my mother (age 75) was arrested for sleeping on the floor there); Houston has many cheap hotels within a quick shuttle range; Dallas has thunderstorms in the summer--esp. in the afternoon--but is way better on delays in the winter, esp. if the other choice is Chicago, which has delays year round.</p>

<p>When booking flights, try to find flights where there are other flights later in the day. It can be worth it to take overnight flights going W to E, because that often puts your connection on the first flight out of the connecting city, which is the least likely to get screwed up. (Both my children sleep well on planes. They also use iPods, which no one has mentioned as the ultimate frequent-flyer amenity. My H likes books on tape for long flights.)</p>

<p>Encourage your daughter to cultivate friends in the connecting cities. My children travel with phone numbers of friends and relatives in every city they connect in. Some of them are a stretch, but it eases my worries. (My daughter was highly amused when I actually found her someone to call in Rome: the son of a woman I went to elementary school with.)</p>

<p>Rather than worrying that your daughter might miss a connection, you could try <em>planning</em> long connections with the opportunity to explore the connecting cities. </p>

<p>Oh, and no one with that kind of difficult itinerary should be coming home for Thanksgiving; that's just an invitation to disaster of the sort where you don't even make it home before you have to turn around.</p>

<p>Oh, and scan her passport and other forms of ID and email it to her using gmail or yahoo or one of the internet-based mail services; that way she or you can get a copy of it from any internet-connected computer in the world.</p>

<p>We joined a couple of Frequent Flyer programs about four years ago. So far, on the couple of times we tried to actually use them, upgrades were not available on the flights we wanted to use. I've come to feel that they're a scam.</p>

<p>Upgrades are almost never available anymore unless you are Gold or better. On the other hand, a free ticket every 25K or 30K miles is still a nice perk.</p>

<p>The Dad--the only airline where I've found you can get <em>upgrades</em> consistently is Northwest. However, Alaska's credit card lets you accumulate miles on a $1/1 mile basis and has no upper limit, so if you have a lot of business credit card stuff, you can really accumulate the miles---and a first class ticket across the country is only 40K miles. (They have a deal with American, so you can actually use the miles, I've never had a problem getting tickets.)</p>

<p>Simply put, chill out, period?
Your daughter isnt a little child anymore. She knows what to do if she does get into a problem anyway.</p>

<p>Bleh. Thanks for the info, bandit & dmd.</p>

<p>I sympathize with your anxieties. My D will be flying alone transatlantic to and from college. One of her non-negotiable requirements when choosing colleges was school had to be near an airport she could fly to without changing planes anywhere. Fortunately, she will be outside of Boston--shortest possible route for a major US airport transatlantic. We have been doing this route (to NYC) on average twice a year as a family since D was five months old--nothing has ever occurred that would be a problem for an 18 year old flying alone. Not even lost luggage!</p>

<p>The maternal tendency to conjure up nightmare scenarios helps us to think through the potential risks and find ways to be prepared-as suggested above. Best wishes to all of the Fall 2006 flying freshmen!</p>

<p>Your daughter will be fine. You won't. I have convinced my son to humor me along and text me when he arrives at one airport and leaves for another. (It can be a 24 hour trip) He is good about it. I am going to try and ween myself from this stupid worrying by next fall.</p>

<p>The Dad, son gets upgrades quite frequently on cheapo economy class tickets because of his FF status. He got a free ticket home last Christmas and was upgraded?!? Go figure. He flies KLM, NW and Luftansa.</p>