Hi there, new to the board and this is my first post, so please bear with me.
Daughter is 7th grader while we start to check around for HS options. She is definitely more into arts , and dance seriously (10hrs+/wk), sports is not priority for her. We are over Greater Boston area and town’s public school is pretty good, so we set the private school bar bit high: very good academic reputation, offer expand dance courses, prefer boarder life but close to home to access her routine dance studio. So our list is kind limit. We visited our top choice school during their recent open house, and despite the good things, we found red flags:
The head of school is new. During the opening speech, he has to read from paper. And even that the speech is not very impressive.
Met one of the admit team member on a local school fair, horrible representing the school . Turned out she is new hire to the team, just out college. I’m ok with young and inexperience , but at least the enthusiasm?
Student tour guide did a great job. Around the school central courtyard, she told us it’s not in written rules, but everyone knows “not cutting the lawn” even you are in rush. AT that moment, we saw someone cutting the lawn right there, and apparently, the same young lady in #2.
During student board and faculty board, we heard a lot on English and history, but Math/Science is close to zero mentioned. BTW, the science dept. head just switch to another school locally.
I still think this school is a good fit for my daughter, but all above just make us unsettled. Any suggestion?
To the OP: I think the HoS point is the only one that I would monitor. Maybe check in again next year, give the HoS some time to adjust, etc. - maybe you will be surprised.
I don’t consider a new headmaster reading what might have been their first such speech to be a red flag. Or the rep at the student fair. I agree, no pink flags, let alone red.
It seems you didn’t connect to the place, but is this your dream school, or your kid’s? And does your kid get a say?
Does it really matter if the Head of School is a great orator or not? Imho, not at all.
The grass thing: seriously??! The guide probably didn’t fully explain the tradition (because, why?) and the kid on the grass is a senior or something. Totally unimportant.
Wait til you get to college and you’re not allowed to walk through a gate!!
I think a “dream school” is an issue because it can rarely meet expectations.
The only thing I see concerning is your comment #4 and if that’s a concern to you, you should investigate further.
I guess maybe it’s not the dream after all. Nothing will be perfect - but #4 is definitely cause for pause, especially for a student more STEM oriented.
She’s lnto into arts - true. But they saw lack of Math/science discussion as an issue so it’s a concern and they should follow up on their concern - IMHO.
Thx for clarifying her interest but other than that my comment / opinion still stands.
Oh, I think that they should go with their gut. And their gut isn’t happy, hence the nitpicking.
The school in question sounds like a school that my kid applied to, that in theory would be a fantastic school, but in reality would not have been a match. The “red flags” for us were the school newspaper and dorm regulations that would have been stifling for my child.
The HOS job description is a very involved one, and every HOS does some parts of it better than others. If this person was just hired, my guess is that the search committee prioritized the skills with what it most needs now. I doubt that gifted orator was at the top of the list! This would not concern me.
Admissions folks will not be involved with you or your child after you’ve paid your deposit. It’s always great when an AO really embodies the essence of the school and conveys that to prospective families, but that’s just not always going to happen. Even a good one may not click with everyone. Don’t sweat this one. And fairs are often staffed by alums, junior staff, etc. It’s just really hard for these folks to do everything they are supposed to AND show up at all these events.
Oh no! Cutting across the grass! Let’s leave this at non-event.
If you are interested in learning more about science and math, start by looking at the course catalog, then figure out what else you want to know. You can ask at your interview, and when the time comes, your child can sit in on classes during the revisit. At an open house, time is limited, so few people will get everything they want. Also, it’s possible that the folks you wanted to hear from weren’t available. I recall that when we visited the school DS ended up attending, the robotics teacher, who was something of a legend, happened to be at a competition with the same students who would have been in the lab. It didn’t mean the program wasn’t there.
I don’t think you had red flags. But I would recommend that you try to connect with some current or recent families to get their perspective. Attend events that are open to the public (theater, games, etc) so that you can observe the culture. Follow the website and learn all you can. Carefully explore how pursuing dance outside school will work if this is your plan. It’s possible that something just felt off for you - indicating this isn’t a fit - and you are trying to pin it on specifics.
The reason people talk about “fit” is because no school is going to be the right place for every student. They all have things they have chosen to focus on at the expense of other things. Their cultures, way of teaching, etc differ. You need to find one that works for you. This will likely involve a bit of compromise, but it shouldn’t be on the things that are most important to you. You may want to attend some other open houses to get a sense of the other places as well. Maybe this isn’t the best fit for you. Sometimes seeing options helps clarify what matters most.
I do think the HOS focus is important as this person will set the tone for the school. I would research the school they came from to see if they had long tenure and if they were well liked. If the HOS is doing a good job at a school, the teachers will be happy and engaged and most likely the students will be as well.
The HOS is important but first impressions can be misleading. Our first impression of the groton head of school was that he was great. I now think he’s pretty awful. First impressions can be incorrect. No private school is going to be perfect. They all have HUGE issues. It’s just a question of picking the school with the issues you can deal with.
I agree that the Head of School is important, but OP’s concern was that he read his speech. To me, this is almost irrelevant. What IS relevant: is s/he kind and empathetic? Do they understand teenagers? Are they smart? Make good decisions? Have a vision for the school? Good at raising money? Good at keeping various constituencies (alumni, current families, faculty, staff) happy? Good communicator? And much more!
The criticism of the current Hotchkiss HOS is that he’s not a great public speaker (though he doesn’t read his speeches). However, he’s also the best Head the school has had for the past 20+ years. I will take a less than galvanizing speaker that’s a great HOS any day.
Choate got a new HOS the year our son entered, and we all thought he was awful (cold, non-charismatic, stiff, such a disappointment compared to the previous head). However, his talent is development, fund raising, and planning for the future. He seriously increased the school’s endowment, transformed Choate’s physical plant, and made institutional changes that prepared the school and students better for competing in the 21st century. The goal was to move away from the old entrenched competition with A&E to create a more vibrant, modern institution separate from its peers. He also planned to reduce the size of the student population from the 850 it was when our son entered to below 800.* I’m not sure if that happened, but I am sure that the current school/campus does not look or feel like the Choate our son first stepped foot on in 2011.
In this case, the HOS has been an outstanding development leader for the institution if lacking personally in charm and warmth. But, our son found plenty of that in his peers, faculty, dorm parents, and advisors, so I’d say Choate’s choice was a big win for the school.
The Choate HOS serves as a good example of the same person being viewed very differently when they are new versus when they are established.
Our kids started in 2018 and 2020. We cannot imagine having a different HOS. He is absolutely adored by the students and family members that we’ve spoken with. He is certainly talented in developing the schools resources and optimizing operations, but he is also a warm and engaging speaker (perhaps he has built that skill set over time) and frequently talks with students and family members to understand what is important to them.
Give the new HOS a chance. Judging someone’s capability as a HOS based on their speaking skills reminds me of the Warren Harding Error from Gladwell’s book. Better to focus on their skills that matter for making the school the best it can be.
Frequency of suicidal incidence, that is a red flag. Poor reviews on niche and third-party website. my take home for those review is: Poor reviews always say some truth.
As the parent of a former pre-pro (large company school) ballet dancer who is now at a boarding school, being able to continue at a dance studio is not realistic. At my kiddo’s BS, after school sport /dance/music or other approved activities are required by every student. She dances as an academic class and after school, Saturdays and Sundays. Most BS look for students who will contribute to the school in some meaningful way. If the student leaves to dance somewhere else, what are they contributing to the school? There are some athletes who continue on club teams but also on the school team. If your child is into dance and the arts, they need to be all in at the BS. Also, my kiddo’s main friend group are her dance friends. If your kid leaves to dance at her home studio, chances are she won’t find her people at BS. Consider cutting the ties at the dance studio or stay home at the public.
