<p>In Lang today, my class had a discussion about what factors shape your success. And someone brought up a great point about how ambition and drive are distinctly different. Today I realized how I've almost lost my drive, but I still as ambitious as ever and how they're conflicting. I feel like I died this year; I don't know what happened to me, but something went terribly, terribly wrong. I don't remember ever feeling this down before. My memory is sketchy, but I think I used to be fairly motivated and on top of things. Now, I'm a mess in all aspects of my life. My work ethic has gone down the drain and I'm struggling to get it back. I'm afraid to challenge myself because frankly, one part of me wants to complete the challenge, but the other half can't bring myself to do it. <em>shrugs</em></p>
<p>I think you need some .44 caliber motivation, OP</p>
<p>I can't seem to find some :(</p>
<p>I will hesitantly say that this seems to be a classic example of self-destructive behavior. You still have the same goals that you used to, but for some reason you have either consciously or unconsciously undermined your ability to achieve those ends.</p>
<p>That being said, there is no tonic stronger than that of reality. You have recognized that there is some sort of void where your drive used to be. The best advice is to simply suck it up and push through, like we all do.</p>
<p>We all experience downturns in life, and all we can really do is try and get through them or try and make them better. </p>
<p>Nobody's going to give you motivation, you have to find it yourself.</p>
<p>Good luck, I'm in much of the same boat. This may in fact be more of a reflection of my thoughts on the issue rather than how they connect to you personally.</p>
<p>yeah i hate to tell you this, but maybe you're depressed</p>
<p>it's a pretty common ailment, especially for overly pressured burnt-out high school kids</p>
<p>or you may just be overly pressured and burnt-out, nobody can stay hyper-motivated all the time, and the more you scold yourself and tell yourself you need to get with the program, the more stressed you'll be and the worse you'll feel. sometimes it helps to take a couple days off and get your head together. even if you have more work when you get back. once you've relaxed a bit everything seems infinitely easier, in my experience.</p>
<p>but anyway best wishes man</p>