Regretting my decision to transfer colleges, I (20M) need help figuring out what to do now

Transfer Students
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I’m really lost. I spent three semesters at a school a couple hours away from home taking classes for civil engineering. In addition to the stress, anxiety, and pressure of the Covid situation and the resultant loneliness, isolation, etc., I also was in over my head on the academics required for civil engineering, and I also had a terrible roommate my third semester. Plus, I was falsely accused and reported of cheating, which the professor found to be a misunderstanding but still haunted me for a while and I’m uncertain if it remains on my disciplinary record. All in all, I truly felt that transferring to a school back home was my best option.

This spring semester I didn’t transfer but did take a couple classes at this school close to home and took a leave of absence from my previous school. A few weeks ago I sent a transfer application to this new school, and was accepted. However, I am truly regretting leaving my previous school and looking back I believe I made the wrong choice.

I think the feelings of anger and stress I had for the school should’ve been rather blamed on Covid and my choice of major. Even with those two factors, though, I recognize that my first semester there with a good roommate and with not too difficult classes, it was the happiest I had ever been in my life, quite possibly.

I really don’t know what to do, but I just wish I could restart my entire college experience without COVID and with a better idea of what I wanted to major in. I know that’s not possible, though, so I’m hoping someone can suggest to me my next best alternative approaches.

This school I previously attended had always been my dream school, and it was affordable, in a beautiful area, and despite the tough position we were placed in due to COVID I had friends there. I don’t want to have any regrets, and I’m afraid that my biggest regret in life so far is quitting and giving up on things I should’ve stuck with, and I’d hate to see this be yet another example of that, and a much worse one at that.

What actions that I’ve taken are irreversible? What actions do I make now? Should I take a few classes this semester at the new school, and then transfer back for the next spring semester, if I still regret my decisions? I’m so lost, please help me out.

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Did you officially withdraw from your original school? Is there any reason that the original school is not expecting you to return in September?

Have you talked to your advisor?

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Thank you for our response.

No, I never officially withdrew from my original school. My original school allows a leave of absence of up to two semesters, and I haven’t registered with them for classes, housing, or anything else for the spring semester, so for that reason they’re probably not expecting me to return in September, but I still have the option of returning, although probably not for the spring semester, since I’ve missed their deadlines. Lastly, I have not spoken to my advisor or my parents, both of which should probably be priorities for me.

Thank you!

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When are you leaving this school. The next term is the fall semester 2022. Are you registered at School 1 for that term?

I would very strongly suggest that you apply for a leave of absence from school one asap. BUT you need to find out a couple of things:

  1. Does school 1 allow you to take college classes elsewhere if you take a leave?

  2. Does school 2 allow you to take courses if you aren’t a matriculated student?

  3. Also…how will you be paying for school 2. IIRC, you can’t get financial aid if you are not a matriculated student. @kelsmom ?

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My son took a medical withdrawal from college. He was told he could take a summer class at CC, but had to unenroll if he wanted to enroll at another college (which he did).

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I am not sure financial aid is a consideration in this case, as OP has not mentioned it. If it is, @ATM_4, please let us know & I will advise based on additional questions I will have for you.

Based on what you have posted, it sounds like the two semesters you are allowed for your leave of absence are the semester you just completed & fall semester. Is that correct? If so, it is probably a good idea for you not to enroll at school 1 for fall … it seems you may need a bit more time to figure things out. However, I strongly encourage you to meet with an academic advisor at school 1 to discuss your concerns, come up with a reentry plan should you choose to reenroll for spring 2023, and plan appropriate classes to take at school 2 should you choose to continue your studies in the meantime.

Please talk to your parents. And if you are not in any type of therapy or counseling, I suggest you consider it. Covid has been hard on many people, and dealing with the anxiety it has created is a good move.

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So what’s the problem?

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At this point, if you haven’t withdrawn from your current college, and you haven’t registered for classes at college 2…really…you haven’t transferred…yet.

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I am considered a matriculated student (I believe) at School 1 and was given a leave of absence starting the spring semester 2022. This school limits leaves of absence to a year (two semesters), which I’ve already taken one of.

I hope School 1 allows college classes elsewhere to be taken during a leave of absence, but that requires a little explanation. Towards the end of the fall semester 2021, I had spoken with my advisor telling him I was hoping to take a sort of a gap year but take a couple classes at a local college and then after that semester either decide if I wanted to return to School 1 or enroll as a full time student at School 2. He said that was fine, and he helped me work with someone else at the school and I requested and was given a leave of absence. I figured he would’ve had to let me know if I couldn’t do what I was suggesting, so I assume I am allowed to take classes elsewhere.

School 2 does allow me to take courses, up to 12 credits I believe, if I’m not a matriculated student.

I’ve been sharing a portion of the cost with my parents on the courses that I’m taking at school 2. You’re correct, I believe, that I am unable to receive aid being non-matriculated.

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Although I haven’t registered for classes this upcoming semester, I did take classes with School 2 this past spring semester, as a non-matriculated student. I do agree that I have not yet transferred, but I’m wondering what I should do this upcoming semester being late for deadlines and all. Thanks.

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I just have no idea what to do now for this upcoming semester and how to let my parents know that I’ve changed my mind. Thanks.

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Thank you so much! Greatly appreciate the wonderful advice.

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  1. For this upcoming semester, contact your advisor at School 1 and tell him/her that you’re ready to come back. If s/he isn’t available, start with the registrar or a professor you know who’s on campus for the summer, or the VP for Student Affairs, or anyone who can guide you to where you need to go and what you need to do to end your leave and resume your status as an active student. Two simple words to start any conversation will help smooth things over: “I’m sorry.”

  2. Your parents love you. They WANT to be there for you when the going gets rough. Just tell them the way you told us here. You did a good job with that here. “Mom, Dad, as you know I’ve been going through a tough time. Things have been really confusing, but I think I’m beginning to see my way through it. I really appreciate how you’ve been there for me and how flexible you’ve been. Here’s what I want to do going forward . . .”

Best of luck with everything! Let us know how it goes.

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