<p>Just a post script: the son I descriped in the original post DID visit the school...he actually visited both his safeties. That being said, I do not know anything about the degree to which he expressed interest in his application.</p>
<p>My S was placed on waiting lists for some of his match/safties while being admitted to his "reaches." Two of the wait-listed schools wrote to ask if he was really interested in attending, alas, they made the right decision, he was not.</p>
<p>How frustrating for juniors and their 'rents! Our replies are all over the map with this issue.</p>
<p>How to Come Across as Sincere and Authentic in Your Applications.</p>
<p>advice from a parent of a kid who is going to a reach school he was totally not counting on, and by golly he really did like each and every one of his match schools very much for specific reasons, didn't have a clue who would actually accept him or honor him with scholarships or what we call "love" on the CC Board, is now still sad he can't attend a couple of his Match schools, and had fairly so-so chances at the Reach schools on his list. </p>
<p>Number One: Be sincere and authentic. This means do the work of researching your schools, and cope with your crushes on the Big Reach Schools on the horizon as best you can, sort of like walking by your crush in high school every day with your head up, taking the time to speak to the other fellows or girls. Reaches are the things that may never ever happen. The equivalent of being struck by lightening. Seniors know which of them outright deserve to get into Reach colleges, and there are always a handful that simply do really DESERVE it. But for another segment of great super young people, things are pretty much up in the air and Entitlement is not sound ground to walk on. You got nothing to lose by actually giving your Match schools your affection and attention and you have everything to gain. Find three interesting strong statements you can make about each school and be ready to say them to adcoms, alum and current students there.</p>
<p>Number Two: Attach to the Match!
This is oh so hard when you are overwrought and overhyped and a scared senior, but if possible don't apply to schools where you don't know happy students and you can't visualize yourself joining in. It feels trashy and inauthentic to interview with shrewd Alumni and write five Why College X Is For Me essays; it feels like you are trying to date five girls in one semester. It feels shallow or a bit smarmy. But you have to give your kids permission to do this...develop crushes on many schools at once. If you raised your kid to be earnest and honest to a fault, they are not going to do this easily. Yes it feels nutty, but otherwise you are just plain sunk in interviews and essayville, so go ahead and love one school's specialty or claim to fame, another's campus, another school's spiritedness, another school's artsy vibe and give credit where credit is due. Use metaphors like this when counseling your kid who can easily get very enamored with one elusive school, and then decide at some level -in their dreams- that they need to be Loyal. (actually my S got a little weary of my metaphors.) Plus the kids you meet who "host" you on visits will smell a rat right away...they picked or settled on College X so for heavens sake be positive about their college when visiting and never ever compare it to others you are dreaming of with them. They ask..Yes they do, they aren't bad kids, they are just plain perverse and curious! Alum interviewers ask! Yes they will..they will open interviews with your 17 year old with this unfair question and there is nothing you can do to prevent it..they are human and curiosity is a big thing for humans: "What colleges are you applying to, and where is my alma mater on your list..please rank." Oy! But if you really do Revere Respect and Appreciate each school you choose, it comes across in your words, expressions and attitudes. And your sincere Respect for the Match school is what will be reported back to the adcom staff.</p>
<p>Match schools like to be loved for specific reasons just like we all prefer to be loved for very specific reasons. How many times do we see someone declare love in the movies and the object of affection turns to the person declaring love and asks "WHY?"
Cluelessness and fear will help you develop a healthy respect for your match application schools where just like everyone says..there really are top notch professors, facilitites and students and great learning opportunities to be had. So fear is your friend..it will help you Attach to the Match.</p>
<p>I can't say enough times how important it is to visit each school and to find the time (and this is hard senior fall because the visitation "window" is shorter than you can imagine...many schools won't have you during exams, Alum weekend, Homecoming etc and before you know it, the overnight student host season is abruptly finito!) Each college has different finicky schedules of overnights, too...see each website and make a chart. Some schools for instance have everything managed by students including taking the phone call and making arrangements. Some schools refuse to host a HS student on weekend nights period. Only Mon Tues and Weds and Thursday. Get to an overnight Labor Day weekend where you already know a current student and ask that student to host your son or daughter in the dorms one night and to let them attend a couple of classes. Help your student email professors to alert them that they will be "sitting in" and help your student seek out a dept head of an area of import.
This not only will yield the "bubble breakthrough" when you and your kid are still (despite sincere efforts to get reality based) seeing a college through the eyes of Fiske, or USNWR, or one alum you know...this will yield gold for the sense of authenticity so needed in college applications that are match, high-match or reach schools. You can refer to so many personal observations in your essays and interviews and have double the authenticity as an applicant.<br>
It is hard to do the formal overnights in October..so get strategic and settle for afternoon classes and an early supper with students at schools closer to home. It will weaken your application to have not ever spoken to a Prof or walked the campus sans parents with peers only. Get a detailed look at campus clubs and find your vision of yourself at that college...attempt to write that Why College X essay, and go find the answers.<br>
best!</p>
<p>There are several reasons why a Colgate acceptee would be rejected at Lehigh or Lafayette, and this sounds like someone trying to put a positive spin on that experience. And though Colgate is more selective than either school and has an excellent faculty, it does not have a significant academic advantage over either. </p>
<p>This acceptance/rejection combination could have come from:</p>
<p>a) a poor (sloppy, late, incomplete etc.) application to L and a focused, comprehensive app to Colgate
b) no demonstrated interest in L; demonstrated interest in Colgate
c) ambivalence or negative comments given in an L interview situation
d) athletic or legacy tip at Colgate</p>
<p>In my D's first round of applying, she thought she wanted to go to a big university. She applied to UMich, Boston U, Rutgers, and another state flagship (the one she attended first year.) All accepted her; the latter three offered huge merit scholarships. Umich, BU, and the one she went to invited her into their Honors Programs--MIchigan Honors lobbied heavily to get her to come.</p>
<p>Rutgers, her absolute "safety", turned her down for Honors. (1470 SAT, 4.0 uw, lots of ECs). Did she show much interest? Honestly, no. However, I really didn't expect her own state U to succumb to Tufts Syndrome!</p>
<p>I think it's wrong to think of this as being rejected for being overqualified. Rather, it's more likely rejected for not being sufficiently interested. A kid's stats and resume are only one part of the consideration. Schools want kids who want to be there. In addition to "yield," they also consider transfer potential. And a kid who would really rather be at Yale or Harvard than say Wesleyan or Vassar probably conveys that in his application somehow.</p>
<p>Kids and parents are quite sophisticated about these applications (just look at these threads). I sincerely doubt that these students were rejected solely for "something" that appeared to be lack of interest in their applications. We all know the importance of yield to the US News rankings. I think it is reasonable to conclude that "Tufts syndrome" plays a role in at least some of these cases.</p>
<p>From a Seinfeld episode (from poor memory):</p>
<p>Irate Cabbie [sarcastically]: Well excuuuse me, Miss Tufts University!
Elaine [hisses]: Tufts was my safety school...</p>
<p>While I'm at it, from a Simpsons:</p>
<p>Lisa [age 8]: A B on my spelling test! Now I'll never get in to Harvard.</p>
<p>Bart and Homer (mockingly): Lisa's going to Stanford, Lisa's going to Sanford</p>
<p>Idler:</p>
<p>If I remember correctly, a number of writers for the Simpsons are Harvard grads (via the Harvard Lampoon). The Harvard Coop used to sell posters of a map of the US that showed Cambridge with Harvard and MIT as huge and Stanford a mere dot somewhere to the left.</p>
<p>Yep, including Conan O'Brien.</p>
<p>Matt Groenig (Simpsons) is an Evergreener.</p>
<p>For more onthe Simpson's references to Ivy league schools see the following:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.snpp.com/guides/ivy.html%5B/url%5D">http://www.snpp.com/guides/ivy.html</a></p>
<p>The influence of Harvard journalists was the subject of an article in the 04/29/05 Wall Street Journal, "A Flood of Crimson Ink." </p>
<p>Perhaps this explains all the "pressure to attend..." and feel bad about other schools.</p>
<p>My experience this year has been that any disappointment is short lived (and there was little noticed), and that some students chose a safety/match over a reach, which is why being turned down for being "over qualified" is a shame.</p>
<p>The influence of the Lampoon on shows like "The Simpsons," "Saturday Night Live," the late night shows (especially Letterman and O'Brien), and others is legendary. I read an article once where it said a position with a Lampoon equals a guaranteed writing staff position at the show of your choice once you graduate, and they actually had statistics to back it up.</p>
<p>More relavant to the original post, I'm a little nervous about not getting accepted to Wells because of this. I realize they accept 77% of applicants, but that's because so many people use them as a safety school, among other factors. (They're also trying desperately to boost enrollment.) In talking with their counselors, they always seem a little amazed I'm seriously interested in going there. They even called my current college (I'm looking to transfer) to ask if the counselors knew anything about me wanting to go there!</p>
<p>I'm hoping going up for my tour this fall will help. My top picks are Bates, Smith, and Trinity, but honestly, I would really, really, really consider going to Wells if I got in. They might have a high acceptance rate and low SAT scores, but honestly, I love them. I wish they'd just believe me already.</p>