Rejected students Overlooked/ Underheard

Prep School Admissions
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<p>Good point, toombs. </p>

<p>Just as there are many excellent colleges besides the Ivies, there are many excellent boarding schools besides GLADCHEMMS. Moreover, there are many good to excellent public high schools. The name of one’s school is NOT going to guarantee a successful and happy life – nor is it going to guarantee a miserable and failed one. The only thing that has any real say in the outcome of one’s life is the person living it. We are fortunate in this country that individaul effort, ability and TENACITY are still rewarded. And, tenacity, more than any other quality, will carry the day. You can be sure of it.</p>

<p>You dear children who are applying to boarding schools simply do not have the life experience – yet – to know that it is WHAT you do where ever you are that matters most not WHERE you are. Life is rarely fair. If you know that then you are ahead of the game and will not expect anything (a tall order!), so will have few disappointments. You may even have more pleasant suprises! Try to appreciate that youth is with you now and it is the best time of your life to prepare for the future. </p>

<p>Whatever school you are in, be it private day, boarding or public high school – ALL of them are PREPARATORY schools for the long road ahead. Be TRUE to yourselves and you cannot fail to succeed.</p>

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<p>I’m disappointed with the direction of this thread. It repeats a lot of myths we’ve tried to debunk on the boards and some student in the next year will read this and assume it is the truth.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Legacy kids don’t have a huge advantage anymore. Even IF their parents have lots of money. And those that do are getting an extra slot, not one of the regular ones. We’ve already acknowledged how many legacy kids/parents on the board were rejected. And I have already established that HADES schools are making calls the day before to close to a hundred parents to tell them the bad news.</p></li>
<li><p>A LOT of students being accepted are coming from lousy school districts. These days I’m having trouble finding the good ones. </p></li>
<li><p>Those “rich” kids you loathe are paying the bills so that the poor kids can go. Looking at many schools - even Exeter and Andover, more than half the parents are paying the full tuition. At my daughter’s school it’s closer to 70%. Those parents, and donors are also donating additional money to help with scholarships and other school needs. I saw donations to the parent fund topping 6 figures from some donors.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>So let’s be fair. As horrible as it is to be rejected, if you were accepted it would be because someone else in just as desperate a situation, had to be turned down.</p>

<p>Life sucks. But the most amazing candidates turn it into something positive. They supplement their education with online courses like CTY. They gear up and apply again. Or they wait and apply to early college programs. But they DON’T GIVE UP!</p>

<p>You weren’t overlooked or underheard - it’s because it is financially impossible to run a school with 600-1,100 kids all of whom need full aid. And it’s impossible to run an academically qualified school only with kids coming from lousy districts.</p>

<p>Schools look for rich kids, poor kids, straight kids, gay kids, tuba players and tap dancers, jocks and volunteer kids. </p>

<p>It is what it is. A bunch of exhausted, imperfect human beings stayed up for nights on end trying to figure what to do with the student’s whose fate is in their hands and made the best decisions they could.</p>

<p>Be appreciative that someone, somewhere is getting the very chance you wish for yourself.</p>

<p>Anger is normal. But throwing out stereotypes diminishes the students on this board who tried just as hard, and got the same bad news and are pushing forward. Those kids show they have the right stuff. </p>

<p>Right now there are a bunch of people in Japan who’d be willing to trade places with you and go to your lousy school and all that goes with it. 2,000 bodies recently washed up on the shore. Take a look at some of the horrific videos on the net these days. Whole towns wiped out without warning. The earth’s axis has shifted 4 inches. Japan has regions that are now at a lower sea level and may never recover. And 3 nuclear reactors are melting down sending radiation that can be detected 60 miles away.</p>

<p>That ought to put things in perspective.</p>

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<p>lets get back on track this thread is about rejected students being under-heard and future endeavors for rejected students.</p>

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<p>to everyone: thank you for posting your thoughts. i now feel slightly – how should i say it – selfish, for writing my previous post. i guess i was a bit frustrated at the time. i do keep in mind, and have kept in mind, that without donors, financial aid wouldn’t be able to be offered to those who cannot afford tuition.</p>

<p>In fact, i feel that my previous post seemed to be quite childish and immature. i should be so thankful for what i have instead of putting others down. </p>

<p>So to say the least, thank you everyone for explaining your thoughts on this subject. i’m sorry for guiding this thread the wrong way.</p>

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<p>andover you dont need to apologize to anyone, this thread is about reality not typical fictitious responses that you usually here from people on this thread.</p>

<p>smart kids who need an opportunity that isnt offered at their current school are consitantly being held back.</p>

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<p>Being that I am partially new to CC, could you give an example of a “typical fictitious response” ? I don’t spend much time on CC either, so i’m not really into the whole mix of things. i guess the only kinds of threads i thought could be possibly untrue were in the “chances” section. Although recently, i looked at a thread where someone was almost definitely posing as a current student at a particular boarding school.</p>

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<p>some of the members that have been on cc for a while tend to give typical/ very generic responses.</p>

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<p>I understand completely. There seems to be 4 types of people that a variety of boarding schools are looking for. First up is the “overachiever”. </p>

<p>They are the people that are great students with 99th percentiles on everything, take oboe lessons and played at Carnegie Melon at the age of 8, was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, and routinely saves the world. Some schools (top tier or whatever) want that. </p>

<p>Next are the “statistic booster”.</p>

<p>These are the people who many think don’t deserve a spot in boarding school. In many cases they sit at home and manicure their grades and scores. They got 99th percentile and are great students. They may have no personality, and the school accepted them because they had great scores and, for some reason, the school needed them. </p>

<p>Third are the “quota fillers”.</p>

<p>These are the students that may not contribute a lot to a school academically, but the school needs people like these because they fill a certain quota. Maybe it is a quota for ethnicity (ex: “X school prides itself on its racial diversity. Over 25% of the students are ethnically diverse”). Or it is an athletic recruit. Maybe it is to show that the school is financially diverse (ex: “30% of our students are on some form of financial aid”). </p>

<p>Fourth are what every school needs: the full package.</p>

<p>These are students that may not be the smartest or the most athletic, but they can contribute to the school in several aspects. They have brains, diversity, personality, and stellar ECs. A school would want people like these because they are creative and show the school in a positive light.</p>

<p>Now, every school wants some people that are described above. Sometimes schools have too many type 1s, and need more 3s. I find it’s easier to think that you weren’t accepted because a certain school wasn’t looking for type 4 or whatever. This is why it is good to apply to a variety of schools, not just HADES or GLADCHEMMS, or the other schools talked about on CC. Your local private school might be the best fit for what “type” you are.</p>

<p>By the way, sorry if I offended anyone by writing this post. It just seems that these are the people that are accepted to boarding schools, and the people that I am around on a daily basis.</p>

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<p>It’s really normal when you are “in the middle” of something to think it is the “only” path to wherever it is you think you are going, or want to be going, but it isn’t. It really just isn’t.</p>

<p>So, deerhotch, what is your backup plan?</p>

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<p>I was in the same position that you guys are in now. And trust me I know it sucks. I applied to several schools last year and wasn’t offered a spot at any of them. I was disappointed, heartbroken and thought that the world was going to end. I based my entire perception of myself on those 5 letters I received in March. But realize an acceptance is NOT the beginning and a rejection/waitlist is NOT the end of anything. You have no idea how many nights I would stay awake imagining how different my life would have been at a boarding school. It seemed as if all of these dreams were crushed when I found out the decisions. It took some time to be comfortable with the fact that I was being barred from these schools for whatever reason. Take another week or the rest of the month to recover from the experience but at some point you are going to have to stand up and dust yourself off.</p>

<p>After you fully accept the decisions that were made, you have many different options to consider: you could tough it out at whatever school you currently attend, consider rolling admission schools, check out early graduation programs, look into early college programs, or you may decide to try your luck again at the boarding school application process a second time. I eventually choose to re-apply to boarding schools. Fast forward to March 10th this year and I received some similarly negative news but also some positive results as well. Trust me when I say that it was a lot of work and was highly stressful at times but in the end it was worth it. If you decide to take this path as well, cast a wide-net and consider schools that aren’t in the HEADS, or GLADCHEMMS grouping. There are many great schools out there that will offer significant aid and a place for well-rounded students who some believe are “unheard/overlooked”.</p>

<p>This is going to sound really strange, but I am actually glad I felt the sting of those rejections last year. It’s amazing how much more in touch I am with my own strengths and my weaknesses. I’ve grown immensely as a person and I have benefited from having an extra year at public school. I believe that I am so much more able to handle the challenge of a boarding school than I would have been able to last year. I would have never realized these things about myself if I had been accepted and attended a boarding school. It was insanely tough at times to have to spend another year at my public school where drug use is out of control, where students have no respect for one another, and where academically focused students are not receiving the challenge that they should be able to experience but I suffered through it and eventually made it out alive. Don’t cut yourself short and don’t give up! There is a school out there for everyone and it’s possible that your public high school isn’t that bad after all. You have to be willing to put in the hours of hard work to make everything possible but in life things have a really peculiar way of working themselves out in the end. </p>

<p>I hope this helped someone!</p>

31

<p>Why yes, I am Canadian. </p>

<p>Thank you all, for posting. </p>

<p>It is very hard at this point to say whether us rejected applicants DESERVE the opportunity or not, but it is obvious that we NEED the opportunity.</p>

<p>I’m not saying I had the credentials, in fact, I’m saying that I simply did not have the credentials to get in to HADES/GLADCHEMMS. And why is that? </p>

<p>Because my school doesn’t provide honour courses. Because I’m a valedictorian with a percentage average of a mere 92%. Because here people don’t care for the future, they live for today. </p>

<p>One AO said to me, “I can see you are very exceptional but you are running out of opportunities to take advantage of”, and I thought I had it right there and then. But the truth is, even though they see that, they do not think on your behalf. They think and admit students on the school’s benefit. </p>

<p>Life is not fair. So the only thing I can say is, without suitable demographics (location, school, environment), students like me and deerhotch will only fall off the radar. Really. I am out of opportunities already and I have to apply to universities with my credentials that I have now. Unfortunately that’s just not going to cut it.</p>

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<p>Apply to university with my credentials that I have now as in I have taken advantage of all possible opportunities with my ability.</p>

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<p>jerry, why not transfer to your local IB school-- starts with an S, ends with a -moo (heh getting the heebie jeebies yet?)? if you feel you’ve run out of course offerings, try the IB program. i did the same thing, mainly as my BS backup, and today i was accepted to a local public french IB diploma program. it’s definitely no exeter, but it’s definitely more rigorous than the ~typical~ west coast high school.</p>

<p>ps, if you’re wondering how i know your geographical context-- CC is really easy to identify people on. creepy, right?</p>

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<p>wow i thought i was the only one from BC to apply to hades! for you west coaster st. georges school is a great all boys boarding and day school, also try brentwood college or shawnigan lake.</p>

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<p>Holy crap DiveAlive haha That is so creepy haha. I’m actually transferring there haha. Already started applications. You mind telling me how you know? This is a tad creepy.</p>

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<p>bump bumpp</p>

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<p>deernotch, jerryeps:</p>

<p>Are you ready to give up your house and money to that person who is standing at an intersection on a cold snowy day with a board around his neck saying “homeless, hungry, please have pity on me”? He has more more NEED than you do.</p>

<p>If not, then you are hypocritical. Please stop glorifying need over ability. Not all full pay students have parents who are extremely rich. There is a lot of hard work and sacrifice on parents’ part that goes into paying for prep high schools and colleges.</p>

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<p>Dakshina actually makes a very good point here, one that I have thought many times over while perusing this board. Many full pay applicants are not wealthy at all - but just do not qualify for any meaningful aid. Paying close to $50,000 a year for one child’s education is a sacrifice for most families, and often means that these families cut back in other areas. Sometimes it means that the parent staying home with younger children can no longer do so. Or it might mean that a parent already employed full time has to take on additional employment to supplement income. Don’t be so quick to lump all full pay families into the same category. This tuition is tough for the majority of families.</p>

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<p>This is an interesting thread. My son is not aware of this forum and in his current situation, I think that is a good thing. He was recently rejected by RL for his HS, the only one he had applied to. He is a very good kid with very good credentials (academic + EC-s) that match what most accepted kids to the best schools have stated here. I bumped into this forum only after his rejection almost for therapeutic effect. My son went thru the process in the most organic form with no external influence whatsoever. He also realized that one of his good friends from school has been accepted (2nd time trying) and is a legacy kid. It was not a level playing field in any way; however, I was very happy when my son swallowed his disappointment with just a ‘yeah dad! it is all your fault’:slight_smile: and went back very happy to his friends and is now looking forward to his HS years at our local public school (which btw is a very good one). Many different quotes have been nicely said in the forum for such kids to move on to a +ve territory including what his teachers told him ‘hs years is like running a marathon. it does not matter who starts first. what matters is who finishes first. and you will do just fine’. For us the closure was when the school graciously returned our call and told us there was nothing more he could have done for a +ve outcome - it was just the timing with only few spaces left and the need to meet all of the school requirements and the fact that his score in the school administered IQ test (the only unknown to us) was very very competitive amongst the top although they could not share the exact score from school policies – </p>

<p>In hindsight, i wished i had known this forum before as we could have applied for a few more as he would have certainly got into at least another good private school with his credentials, but now it is all too late and I do not wish to take away his enthusiasm of entering the public school with an open mind.</p>

<p>The take away lesson tho’ is this - when we moved him from a private school to the public school 6 years ago, he found more peers in his public school that were intellectually and emotionally smarter - this experience almost substantiates our hypothesis from his recent experience. Our hope is kids like my son will thrive and be successful no matter public or private and hopefully in 4 years he will walk into the same doors that kids from private schools of equal intellect will walk into.</p>

<p>Peace and good luck to all that were disappointed also. A stronger resolve from this experience should help them make greater strides in their lives. Cheers:-)</p>

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<p>Great post! I have no doubt your son will do well at a good PS, he may even get into a better college from PS, fwiw. Good luck.</p>