<p>in high school, I performed quite poorly academically since i spent my time doing research instead of focusing on school work (and I published in a prestigious scientific journal , however that didnt carry over to the admissions officers). As a result of this I did not get into the colleges I wanted to.</p>
<p>In college, my first semester was HORRID...a 2.3 gpa. It was all my fault. I felt like a failure for not getting into the schools I wanted, I was surrounded by people whose work ethic/goals were pulling me down, and as a result had no motivation to work. Later during that semester, my grandfather had a lethal heart attack and my family was in a state of shock. This trauma also got to me and had me worried about what was going to happen.</p>
<p>My second semester improved slightly (a 3.0) but still nowhere near what I wanted to get. My first sem of sophmore year was a 2.8 then a 2.5 my second year making my cgpa a 2.7. </p>
<p>Im $%^&*( for med school so I applied to 3 schools that I really wanted to go too since I thought that maybe changing my environment could help me out of this trench I dug myself in. They were in big city areas and had great reputation and I was told by their admission offices to apply despite my record and that I may have a chance. McGill was my number 1 choice and UofT was my number 2. They both rejected me.</p>
<p>Every time I sit down to read something, to study, or to do anything. All my past failures and these rejections hit me hard and I just can't do anything. It's like ive imprisoned myself in my failed excuse for a life and I really don't know what to do anymore. Please help.</p>
<p>You have created all your failures yourself. Untill you tell yourself that, and start working to improve or move on to something else that does not require huge commitment, it will continue in the same fashion. Things do not happen by themselves, we make them happen. Pre-meds work like crazy, some tests require about 30 hours to prep. just for single test. There is no magic, no talent, no superpower, just hard work day in and day out. And, yes, most people do not get into thier top choices, they all work, volunteer, do research and have families with verious events happenning within them. You are like everybody else, not better, not worse, nobody is given any kind of special treatment. There is only one advice - start working hard at whatever you do, there is no other way that anybody will find for you. Yes, and working hard is requireged at any place (McDonald included)</p>
<p>tompi90, has a lot more issues going on that he is mentioning on his post. Like everyone is telling you on SDN, you need to get professional help.</p>